ransomware except in addition to encrypting data it plays a 10 hour supercut of all yotubes worst jarjar binks impressions and zingers forever until they pay
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ransomware except in addition to encrypting data it plays a 10 hour supercut of all yotubes worst jarjar binks impressions and zingers forever until they pay
@Viss@mastodon.social That is just inhumane torture and probably forbidden by the Geneva Conventions...
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ransomware except it signs you up to every mailing list for every vendor at rsa with your personal mobile phone and resubscribes you every 24 hours using mail aliases til you pay
@Viss from a bus. @60mph.
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ransomware except it signs you up to every mailing list for every vendor at rsa with your personal mobile phone and resubscribes you every 24 hours using mail aliases til you pay
ransomware except it uses hacked openclaw instances and stolen elevenlabs api keys to text-to-speech all new posts on moltbook.com/m/blesstheirhearts, then call you in random intervals 1-15 mins and read them to you aloud on every platform, starting with discord, then signal, then teams then eventually going to mobile phone. then hires bike messenger types to come ring your doorbell and read them to you in person telegram style
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@Viss from a bus. @60mph.
@h2onolan they tag your house with spraypainted qr codes that resolve to old 4chan memes that nobody knows anymore, like duckroll
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ransomware except it uses hacked openclaw instances and stolen elevenlabs api keys to text-to-speech all new posts on moltbook.com/m/blesstheirhearts, then call you in random intervals 1-15 mins and read them to you aloud on every platform, starting with discord, then signal, then teams then eventually going to mobile phone. then hires bike messenger types to come ring your doorbell and read them to you in person telegram style
ransomware except it just leaks the mailspools of the c suite instead of encrypting anything
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ransomware except it just leaks the mailspools of the c suite instead of encrypting anything
@Viss so, just company mandated AI?
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ransomware except it just leaks the mailspools of the c suite instead of encrypting anything
ransomware except it creates an ooo responder in o365 that has a btc address in it, a link to a nonexistent onlyfans page and a footer with a lobster emoji and text that says 'sent from my openclaw'
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@Viss so, just company mandated AI?
@quinn im kinda surprised the existing company mandated ai hasnt pulled any of this shit yet
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@quinn im kinda surprised the existing company mandated ai hasnt pulled any of this shit yet
@Viss *that we know of
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ransomware except it creates an ooo responder in o365 that has a btc address in it, a link to a nonexistent onlyfans page and a footer with a lobster emoji and text that says 'sent from my openclaw'
ransomware except it targets twitter users and posts as them advertising cryptoscams, feet pics and starts flamewars with super angry political nutbags
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ransomware except it creates an ooo responder in o365 that has a btc address in it, a link to a nonexistent onlyfans page and a footer with a lobster emoji and text that says 'sent from my openclaw'
@Viss tbh, I have recently adopted the position that turning most of the world's data into noise would not be a Bad Thing.
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@Viss tbh, I have recently adopted the position that turning most of the world's data into noise would not be a Bad Thing.
@Viss that said, ransomware except you can't get the decryption key, ever.
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ransomware except it targets twitter users and posts as them advertising cryptoscams, feet pics and starts flamewars with super angry political nutbags
@Viss Ransomware except it sends burglars after they had Taco Bell to clog your toilets while you’re not at home
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@Viss *that we know of
@quinn true. they wouldnt disclose
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ransomware except it targets twitter users and posts as them advertising cryptoscams, feet pics and starts flamewars with super angry political nutbags
@Viss isn’t that just Grok?
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ransomware except it targets twitter users and posts as them advertising cryptoscams, feet pics and starts flamewars with super angry political nutbags
ransomware except it does the super 2005 era shit like rotating your windows display, or changing the keyboard layout to dvorak and occasionally displaying a qr code to a btc wallet til you pay. and it pushes that shit to the c-suite and board members first
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@Viss isn’t that just Grok?
@pberry yes
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ransomware except it does the super 2005 era shit like rotating your windows display, or changing the keyboard layout to dvorak and occasionally displaying a qr code to a btc wallet til you pay. and it pushes that shit to the c-suite and board members first
ransomware except it just reinstalls copilot back into notepad
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ransomware except it just reinstalls copilot back into notepad
ransomware except it just changes all the creds to all your switches, routers and firewalls
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ransomware except it just changes all the creds to all your switches, routers and firewalls
ransomware except the only thing it encrypts is that absolutely gargantuan landfill fileshare you have where everyone puts their shit and theres no permissions model and everyone can see everything, so its the companies giant junk drawer
