we are not... supposed... to have... wireless firmware update... on a knife...

[sgsax@mastodon.social]

@DM_Ronin Excuse me, I gotta find a table to flip

[maddiem4@raphus.social]

@DM_Ronin I know some wise guy is going to say "well it's a knife with electronics in it, so maybe firmware makes sense!" I'd like to head that off at the pass. If my Hitachi wand doesn't need firmware or updates thereof, neither does even the most ultrasonic of slicey diceys.

[n1xnx@tilde.zone]

@DM_Ronin
Firmware developer here. And I cook.

Knives. Don't. Need. Firmware.

If, for some reason you feel the need to have the knife vibrate while cutting up food, you only really need a little motor, a battery, and a switch - maybe a slide switch with several settings and some resistors. Nothing that couldn't have been made in the 1950's.

Anything more is a result of failure to ask the "Should we do this?" question.

I bet my $60 santoku handily outperforms that shiny toy, and won't be obsolete in half a century.

[paddytech@mastodon.ie]

@patsytheshark @DM_Ronin that the “ultrasonic crystals” and the (optional) mahogany* block. Oh man. The whole thing just sets every alarm bell ringing.
—
*It’s not mahogany. In general terms, it’s never mahogany.

[jredlund@social.linux.pizza]

@DM_Ronin Knives are dangerous you know. It is good to know their whereabouts. And I am sure that when you turn it on, you have to listen to all the rules of safe knife use, along with all of the caveats from the company about not being responsible for unauthorized surgeries, murders, inexpert chicken dismembering, and missing human digits.

[poetaster@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@DM_Ronin does it stick in the wall if thrown? Is it well balanced?

[korenwolf@mendeddrum.org]

@DM_Ronin That's quality tech bollocks. I'll stick with my nice, regularly sharpened, knife collection

[colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network]

@DM_Ronin End-stage capitalism.

[dm_ronin@mstdn.social]

@MaddieM4 at this point I think any manufacturer who puts wireless connection functionality into kitchen appliances & expose it to the world wide web should be brought to shame

an Internet of Shit hall of shame, if you call it like that.

(and ofc such companies should be brought to bankruptcy bc those jokes have gone too far)

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@DM_Ronin

Listen I follow gadgets and I have never heard of a large ultrasonic knife like this. Let alone one that needed firmware.

This isn't just silly I think it's likely deeply fraudulent.

[lertsenem@mastodon.lertsenem.com]

@DM_Ronin Can't deny this is cutting edge technology.

[phf@dmv.community]

@DM_Ronin I am torn between (a) feeling sorry for the engineers who worked on this or (b) offering them a giant bag of dicks each of which is also in desperate need of a firmware upgrade.

[monokeros@tech.lgbt]

@DM_Ronin Well, yeah, you have to give the deckers something to do during combat or the game gets boring

[chigaze@cosocial.ca]

@DM_Ronin @cstross I’ll stick to my $50 carbon steel peasants knife, which is one of the best knives I’ve ever had.

[ozzelot@mstdn.social]

@lertsenem @DM_Ronin Bleeding edge, if operated incorrectly.

[ozzelot@mstdn.social]

@DM_Ronin finally, openblade @prahou

[prahou@merveilles.town]

@ozzelot @DM_Ronin must be a homebrew mod. openblade is updated via a serial cable

[caitp@mstdn.social]

@DM_Ronin @me so... do you get notifications on your phone when you need to sharpen it? does it collect data on the products you chop and sell it to data brokers?

(yes this is stupid and I hate it)

[furrybeta@shark.community]

@DM_Ronin Wwwwhhhhhyyyy??