we are not... supposed... to have... wireless firmware update... on a knife...

[patsytheshark@mastodon.ie]

@DM_Ronin
I am so confused - what is being updated? What does the knife do that is different than a regular knife and requires firmware?

[patsytheshark@mastodon.ie]

@DM_Ronin
Scratch that, I just realised you included a link

The copy is (?unintentionally) hilarious - you can't see, hear, or feel it doing anything different but trust me bro, it is.

[securedllama@infosec.exchange]

@patsytheshark @DM_Ronin vibrations are how chain saws work so it probably helps to some degree. I have no idea why anybody would even want to have connectivity though. There's an accountant somewhere not doing their job properly.

I would be curious to see how different frequency vibrations work with different foods. Does increasing frequency make it better on everything? Is there an optimum frequency for onions which is different from peppers? My Dremel has an app where you can choose what material, bit and application you have and it can Bluetooth the speed to the tool. I have never downloaded the app.

[securedllama@infosec.exchange]

@patsytheshark @DM_Ronin vibrations are how a chain saw works so it probably helps to some degree. I have no idea why anybody would even want to have connectivity though. There's an accountant somewhere not doing their job properly.

I would be curious to see how different frequency vibrations work with different foods. Does increasing frequency make it better on everything? Is there an optimum frequency for onions which is different from peppers? My Dremel has an app where you can choose what material, bit and application you have and it can Bluetooth the speed to the tool. I have never downloaded the app.

[arclight@oldbytes.space]

@DM_Ronin "Yo dawg, I heard you liked attack surfaces so I put an attack surface on your attack surface..."

[nazokiyoubinbou@urusai.social]

@DM_Ronin Why is the whole blade chrome-plated??? I... don't think this knife is safe to use anyway...

EDIT: Ok, got a look at the product page. Ok, first of all WOW at that price!!! What even the!!! Second of all, even if it claims to be high carbon steel, there's no way that isn't chrome plated... I'll die on this hill if I have to.

[ralph@hear-me.social]

@DM_Ronin

And, the vibroknife is +1 against body armour, if I recall correctly.

[tribeofma@ohai.social]

@DM_Ronin

[flop_ysh@hostux.social]

@DM_Ronin but honestly how good does it work? Like on a pumpkin for instance. Does it need less sharpening?

[kate@social.treehouse.systems]

@DM_Ronin who thought that this is a product the world needs...

[ehproque@neopaquita.es]

@DM_Ronin one step closer to https://m.xkcd.com/293/

[sgsax@mastodon.social]

@DM_Ronin Excuse me, I gotta find a table to flip

[maddiem4@raphus.social]

@DM_Ronin I know some wise guy is going to say "well it's a knife with electronics in it, so maybe firmware makes sense!" I'd like to head that off at the pass. If my Hitachi wand doesn't need firmware or updates thereof, neither does even the most ultrasonic of slicey diceys.

[n1xnx@tilde.zone]

@DM_Ronin
Firmware developer here. And I cook.

Knives. Don't. Need. Firmware.

If, for some reason you feel the need to have the knife vibrate while cutting up food, you only really need a little motor, a battery, and a switch - maybe a slide switch with several settings and some resistors. Nothing that couldn't have been made in the 1950's.

Anything more is a result of failure to ask the "Should we do this?" question.

I bet my $60 santoku handily outperforms that shiny toy, and won't be obsolete in half a century.

[paddytech@mastodon.ie]

@patsytheshark @DM_Ronin that the “ultrasonic crystals” and the (optional) mahogany* block. Oh man. The whole thing just sets every alarm bell ringing.
—
*It’s not mahogany. In general terms, it’s never mahogany.

[jredlund@social.linux.pizza]

@DM_Ronin Knives are dangerous you know. It is good to know their whereabouts. And I am sure that when you turn it on, you have to listen to all the rules of safe knife use, along with all of the caveats from the company about not being responsible for unauthorized surgeries, murders, inexpert chicken dismembering, and missing human digits.

[poetaster@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@DM_Ronin does it stick in the wall if thrown? Is it well balanced?

[korenwolf@mendeddrum.org]

@DM_Ronin That's quality tech bollocks. I'll stick with my nice, regularly sharpened, knife collection

[colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network]

@DM_Ronin End-stage capitalism.

[dm_ronin@mstdn.social]

@MaddieM4 at this point I think any manufacturer who puts wireless connection functionality into kitchen appliances & expose it to the world wide web should be brought to shame

an Internet of Shit hall of shame, if you call it like that.

(and ofc such companies should be brought to bankruptcy bc those jokes have gone too far)