AI powered microwave.

[spacelifeform@infosec.exchange]

@futurebird

Listen; Just listen. Listen closely.

Just listen to the popcorn.

#InternetOfShit

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@the5thColumnist

People will try that one (1) time and it won't work just right then they will press the +0:30 seconds button over and over like most people do with most microwaves.

Until they upgrade the firmware and the microwave refuses to do anything until you login one day. Then they will throw it away.

[catmisgivings@stranger.social]

@futurebird the popcorn button might as well be hard wired to the fire alarm system.

Almost every fire alarm when I lived in the dorms was somebody using the popcorn button on the microwave and burning the popcorn.

[medeavanamonde@beige.party]

@sabik @futurebird @troublewithwords

[theogrin@chaosfem.tw]

@catmisgivings @futurebird

Now imagine how much better it could be with AI. Not only would it start the fire alarm, it'd keep adding seconds as it saw fit until the whole thing legitimately bursts into flame.

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@theogrin @catmisgivings

It'd probably decide this outcome makes sense because it scraped *this post* for training.

[theogrin@chaosfem.tw]

@pseudonym @futurebird

I'd never heard of this before, so I had to check for myself. I just never had the desire to use the popcorn button, I was always a 'wait until it stops audibly popping' sort of girl.

And damned if it's not right there.

(Now I have popcorn, at least.)

[jackemled@furry.engineer]

@futurebird Is this a shitpost or something you actually saw? I really hope this is a joke.

[stumpythemutt@social.linux.pizza]

@futurebird I've never found that the popcorn button did anything except burn it.

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@jackemled

This is what caused me to meltdown:

ilias 🏴‍☠️💙💛 (@DM_Ronin@mstdn.social)

@futurebird@sauropods.win may I interest you then in a Chinese microwave with internet connection & AI, powered by Nvidia https://youtu.be/DkaX-DoC84s (no it's not fraudulent, in fact it took the spotlight at CES 2026)

Mastodon 🐘 (mstdn.social)

[jackemled@furry.engineer]

@futurebird I'm going to use the popcorn button on whoever did this awful shit. I hope they're prepared for the fire alarm to go off in the middle of the night.

[meltedcheese@c.im]

@futurebird I’m not laughing, necessarily, depending on the “AI” tech being used.

I have rice maker we bought when we lived in Japan, 2009-2011. It uses “fuzzy logic “ to make what you want and it makes PERFECT RICE every time, regardless of the type of rice or if the water amount is not exactly right. Fuzzy logic has been around since the ‘80s. (Same tech controls where to position elevators in skyscrapers).

[meltedcheese@c.im]

@petabites @futurebird You can make a decent short range EMP weapon out of an old microwave oven. DIY plans on the internet. Illegal in most jurisdictions of course. My comment is purely educational in intent.

[catmisgivings@stranger.social]

@jimkreft @TerryHancock @futurebird all right, who's hacking the microwave microphone next?

[jsteven@wandering.shop]

@jimkreft @TerryHancock @futurebird
Orville Redenbacher has the most dire popcorn button warnings, and the stuff IS easy to burn. But the button on our microwave seems to work perfectly. Moisture sensor instead of straight timer. (Yeah, love Technology Connections, and had already watched this one. I'm just the kind of nerd to love his stuff.)

[josh@hactivedirectory.com]

@jimkreft @aspeed @TerryHancock @futurebird
@TechConnectify

[polinamials@mastodon.social]

@futurebird I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't reheat that.

[pinkboi@thecave.social]

@futurebird@sauropods.win your melted egg is ready

[meltedcheese@c.im]

@polinamials @futurebird I get that all the time, in various forms, from my home automation. It does no good to argue and it does not take instruction well. Right now it is sulking.

[mirabilos@toot.mirbsd.org]

@futurebird american microwaves have a popcorn button? õÕ