Just one trans woman's opinion, but I hold that the ideal way to recover from accidentally misgendering a person and being called out is to simply repeat the sentence, corrected.
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Just one trans woman's opinion, but I hold that the ideal way to recover from accidentally misgendering a person and being called out is to simply repeat the sentence, corrected. No apologies (or just a quick "sorry" or "pardon" if it flows), no justifications. It happens. We get it. Nobody's looking to shame anyone, only correct a mistake before it perpetuates.
A: "And then he told me that he wanted to..."
B: "They"
A: "And then they told me that they wanted to meet me at this coffee shop..."@Tattie I personally take the "sorry" before the correction as the active acknowledgement of the mistake. It may depend on the context but I think I appreciate it.
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@Tattie I personally take the "sorry" before the correction as the active acknowledgement of the mistake. It may depend on the context but I think I appreciate it.
@Tattie Like a verbal "undo" button, also used for anything else like bad pronunciation or a slip-of-the-tongue.
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R relay@relay.infosec.exchange shared this topic
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Just one trans woman's opinion, but I hold that the ideal way to recover from accidentally misgendering a person and being called out is to simply repeat the sentence, corrected. No apologies (or just a quick "sorry" or "pardon" if it flows), no justifications. It happens. We get it. Nobody's looking to shame anyone, only correct a mistake before it perpetuates.
A: "And then he told me that he wanted to..."
B: "They"
A: "And then they told me that they wanted to meet me at this coffee shop..."@Tattie personally what I find the most important is that people don't make a huge deal out of it should it happen, apologize for the lapse and move on. I really don't need to hear someone's self flagellation that disrupts the flow of conversation
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Just one trans woman's opinion, but I hold that the ideal way to recover from accidentally misgendering a person and being called out is to simply repeat the sentence, corrected. No apologies (or just a quick "sorry" or "pardon" if it flows), no justifications. It happens. We get it. Nobody's looking to shame anyone, only correct a mistake before it perpetuates.
A: "And then he told me that he wanted to..."
B: "They"
A: "And then they told me that they wanted to meet me at this coffee shop..."@Tattie yup, this is polite, natural, and you move on quickly and don't dwell on a mistake.
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Just one trans woman's opinion, but I hold that the ideal way to recover from accidentally misgendering a person and being called out is to simply repeat the sentence, corrected. No apologies (or just a quick "sorry" or "pardon" if it flows), no justifications. It happens. We get it. Nobody's looking to shame anyone, only correct a mistake before it perpetuates.
A: "And then he told me that he wanted to..."
B: "They"
A: "And then they told me that they wanted to meet me at this coffee shop..."@Tattie This is so good. I like; imma use it in the future.
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Just one trans woman's opinion, but I hold that the ideal way to recover from accidentally misgendering a person and being called out is to simply repeat the sentence, corrected. No apologies (or just a quick "sorry" or "pardon" if it flows), no justifications. It happens. We get it. Nobody's looking to shame anyone, only correct a mistake before it perpetuates.
A: "And then he told me that he wanted to..."
B: "They"
A: "And then they told me that they wanted to meet me at this coffee shop..."@Tattie im def w you on this
like... cis accidentally misgender eachother (or pets) all the time and correct themselves without a production
thats really all we want
cuz when they make it a production of self flagellation not only do -we- feel bad for sticking up for ourselves but it also stops being abt basic respect for us and becomes a public spectacle of the cis demanding everyone and god reassure them theyre a good person. which uhhh is pretty narcy
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Just one trans woman's opinion, but I hold that the ideal way to recover from accidentally misgendering a person and being called out is to simply repeat the sentence, corrected. No apologies (or just a quick "sorry" or "pardon" if it flows), no justifications. It happens. We get it. Nobody's looking to shame anyone, only correct a mistake before it perpetuates.
A: "And then he told me that he wanted to..."
B: "They"
A: "And then they told me that they wanted to meet me at this coffee shop..."@Tattie I daresay "thank you" would also work, and more importantly, would indicate that you consider the person who corrected you to be a helper rather than some negative thing. That's my go to when I fuck up, if garnish is needed. it sends positivity back no matter what.
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Just one trans woman's opinion, but I hold that the ideal way to recover from accidentally misgendering a person and being called out is to simply repeat the sentence, corrected. No apologies (or just a quick "sorry" or "pardon" if it flows), no justifications. It happens. We get it. Nobody's looking to shame anyone, only correct a mistake before it perpetuates.
A: "And then he told me that he wanted to..."
B: "They"
A: "And then they told me that they wanted to meet me at this coffee shop..."@Tattie I’ve gotten in the habit of specifically saying simply, “Sorry, my mistake.” I want to own it but also communicate that I don’t need the emotional labor of forgiveness or comfort. And I always repeat it correctly, as you say.
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@Tattie personally what I find the most important is that people don't make a huge deal out of it should it happen, apologize for the lapse and move on. I really don't need to hear someone's self flagellation that disrupts the flow of conversation
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@Tattie I daresay "thank you" would also work, and more importantly, would indicate that you consider the person who corrected you to be a helper rather than some negative thing. That's my go to when I fuck up, if garnish is needed. it sends positivity back no matter what.
@jpaskaruk this is a nice option
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R relay@relay.mycrowd.ca shared this topic
