You must pick one very minor talent:
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I like the idea of understanding the cats but not being able to respond. I can thwart all their plans and they'll think I'm omniscient
That assumes they're not aware of you understanding them. A big if.
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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird "cats understand what I tell them" feels OP. I'm gonna tell them about computer programming and lockpicking
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That assumes they're not aware of you understanding them. A big if.
I'll act all indifferent, like they do. But I'll KNOW
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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird I really think you're minimizing the skill involved in these truly extraordinary talents.
Although, if I saw someone talking to a cat I would likely just think they're drunk.
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I'll act all indifferent, like they do. But I'll KNOW
Much luck. They read your body language. Your surprise, your anger, your ennui after the 10th iteration of "some more food".
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@futurebird the last two being separate is just cruel. I guess we need to pair up
@ShadSterling @futurebird I think it is also impossible.
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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird I understand my cats, but apparently 51% of us don't.
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@futurebird Now obviously the cat communications are winning here, but hear me out. I already understand what my cat says (it's almost always "give me food"), and she wouldn't care about much I had to tell her.
But if I could understand modem noise, that's 56kbit/s. It wouldn't be too hard to play back arbitrary text as modem noise, so I'd be able to speed-read at 7000 characters per second. I'd be able to read Ulysses in under 5 minutes. Clear win.@y6nH @futurebird From personal experience of listening to many ZX Spectrum games loading from tape: The Speccy loader was running at roughly 1200ish baud, and with a trained ear you could actually discern between long groups of 0, structured bitmaps, or large semi-random code blobs.
Not enough to "read" random text by listening to the noise, though.

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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird 5. when you make modem noises, cats will understand what you mean
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You must pick one very minor talent:
Fun fact: Cats can understand you. They just don't care.