You must pick one very minor talent:
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@futurebird I can mostly understand what my cat is saying to me when he meows already. There's a noticeable difference between the meow he uses for needing his litter box cleaned, the meow he uses when he's hungry, the meow he uses when he just wants attention, and the meow he uses when he's scared of something.
@futurebird unfortunately, it's not very precise. But it's usually good enough for me to know what he wants.
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Actually - if the current #Fascist #Authoritarian Assaults on speech and the internet continue unabated - we may need to revert to #dialup point-to-point connections with the old #modems that made that sound.
Although I dont think an analog modem would work over a cell network. Hmmm... now I made myself curious...
@futurebird @oldguycrusty @Rob_T_Firefly That's exactly why I never got rid of the Hayes modems I've acquired when everyone else ditched 'em. Also landline phone equipment. I could set up just such a network on a home-only phone system connecting different room modems thereby, and here's a reminder that TTY devices for the Deaf are similar in operation. -
You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird understanding what my cats are saying would not be a minor talent! I can’t how many times one of them has been hollering (middle of the night) and I’ve been answering with “what do you want?!?!?”
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I've been thinking of doing a "make the modem connection sound as mouth noise" contest for some time now. I think it could be hilarious and fun.
Prize?
And old modem painted gold.
@futurebird @Rob_T_Firefly Could you imagine the beatbox innovation?!?
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What does she want?
https://sauropods.win/@futurebird/116223721542343105@futurebird
To silently judge.
@mansr -
You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird I don't get what #2 could be used for, and doesn't everybody already have 3 and 4? My cats ignore most of what I say to them, but that's not because of lack of understanding--it's an active choice
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What does she want?
https://sauropods.win/@futurebird/116223721542343105@futurebird @malin @mansr she wants An Attention (because she deserves it
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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird It was a difficult choice. Making realistic modem noises? There’s some hi-jinx to be had there. But telling my cats how to avoid the dog is practical.
I already know what they say: “Where my food?”
And there are no modems making noise anymore, so what would I interpret?
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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird if i can understand cats i should be able to figure out some basic communication the other way by trial and error, but it would be a lot harder to do the other way around
maybe impossible, given it's not like cats would obey your commands or anything -
Actually - if the current #Fascist #Authoritarian Assaults on speech and the internet continue unabated - we may need to revert to #dialup point-to-point connections with the old #modems that made that sound.
Although I dont think an analog modem would work over a cell network. Hmmm... now I made myself curious...
@oldguycrusty @futurebird @Rob_T_Firefly i thought about this
but the cat network sounds like it'd be more robust -
I've been thinking of doing a "make the modem connection sound as mouth noise" contest for some time now. I think it could be hilarious and fun.
Prize?
And old modem painted gold.
@futurebird @Rob_T_Firefly I used to be able to whistle 9600 baud - *and* get the modem on the other end to negotiate
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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird if I already have two of these, can I still pick another one, or would this be considered greedy?
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You must pick one very minor talent:
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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird I can kinda already do 3 so I had to pick 4. Let's make this bidirectional.

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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird These choices are legit super-hero stuff, I´m team Green Meowtern.
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@futurebird I can kinda already do 3 so I had to pick 4. Let's make this bidirectional.

@futurebird Joke's on me tho, I wasted my wish. It turns out all the sounds just mean "FEED ME!!!!""
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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird the last two being separate is just cruel. I guess we need to pair up
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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird it was a real struggle picking between 3 & 4 for practical reasons, and 1 for the sheer meme of it
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You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird Now obviously the cat communications are winning here, but hear me out. I already understand what my cat says (it's almost always "give me food"), and she wouldn't care about much I had to tell her.
But if I could understand modem noise, that's 56kbit/s. It wouldn't be too hard to play back arbitrary text as modem noise, so I'd be able to speed-read at 7000 characters per second. I'd be able to read Ulysses in under 5 minutes. Clear win. -
You must pick one very minor talent:
@futurebird I wouldn't call it minor to my cat
