I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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I hope John Roberts' shoelace breaks, and not at home where he could just change shoes. And that those shoes have fairly short laces anyway, and that it breaks right at the eyelet where the knot will get in the way.
I hope John Roberts orders Chinese for lunch and it comes with those chopsticks that are rectangular in cross-section instead of round and when he separates them it splinters just a little and he gets a tiny splinter in the ball of his index finger and it's one of those splinters that's set so deeply there's only a tiny little nub sticking out that's not enough to grab with tweezers but every time he picks up a pen or taps a keyboard it jiggles it and hurts annoyingly.
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I hope John Roberts orders Chinese for lunch and it comes with those chopsticks that are rectangular in cross-section instead of round and when he separates them it splinters just a little and he gets a tiny splinter in the ball of his index finger and it's one of those splinters that's set so deeply there's only a tiny little nub sticking out that's not enough to grab with tweezers but every time he picks up a pen or taps a keyboard it jiggles it and hurts annoyingly.
@msbellows I hope that the Chinese food gives him atomic, painful, explosive diarrhea.
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@msbellows I hope that the Chinese food gives him atomic, painful, explosive diarrhea.
@david So so I, but that would impugn a proof and delicious ethnic cuisine, and also I already used that wish in the very first curse in this long thread.
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@david So so I, but that would impugn a proof and delicious ethnic cuisine, and also I already used that wish in the very first curse in this long thread.
@msbellows Jiminy! How did I miss all of these??
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@msbellows Jiminy! How did I miss all of these??
@david Easy answer: you're a slacker! (Said by a fellow slacker, so don't worry, I'm not judging you.)
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@david Easy answer: you're a slacker! (Said by a fellow slacker, so don't worry, I'm not judging you.)
@msbellows I'm definitely a slacker. Always was…
School: ”We feel you are an underachiever despite your high IQ.”
Me: “Whatever.”
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@msbellows I'm definitely a slacker. Always was…
School: ”We feel you are an underachiever despite your high IQ.”
Me: “Whatever.”
@david Also, it's probably a "tell" that I'm defining "slacker" as "someone who doesn't spend enough time on Mastodon to catch every single one of my posts in real time."
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I hope John Roberts orders Chinese for lunch and it comes with those chopsticks that are rectangular in cross-section instead of round and when he separates them it splinters just a little and he gets a tiny splinter in the ball of his index finger and it's one of those splinters that's set so deeply there's only a tiny little nub sticking out that's not enough to grab with tweezers but every time he picks up a pen or taps a keyboard it jiggles it and hurts annoyingly.
You might enjoy a work of satire I wrote in 2024, following Trump's reelection.
Evil Sorcerers Need to Rediscover the Art of Subtlety
By Malakai Castlequill What follows is either a mediocre attempt at satire, or an opinion column originally published in the Wiz...
(jasonbeets.blogspot.com)
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@david Also, it's probably a "tell" that I'm defining "slacker" as "someone who doesn't spend enough time on Mastodon to catch every single one of my posts in real time."
@msbellows today was an exception as prior, I've been working but finished it all yesterday. Well at least until next week.
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I hope John Roberts orders Chinese for lunch and it comes with those chopsticks that are rectangular in cross-section instead of round and when he separates them it splinters just a little and he gets a tiny splinter in the ball of his index finger and it's one of those splinters that's set so deeply there's only a tiny little nub sticking out that's not enough to grab with tweezers but every time he picks up a pen or taps a keyboard it jiggles it and hurts annoyingly.
@msbellows I hope there are blackberry canes in the side yard this weekend when he goes back there to see what the smell is
and one of them smacks him across the back of his leg
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@msbellows I hope there are blackberry canes in the side yard this weekend when he goes back there to see what the smell is
and one of them smacks him across the back of his leg
@sarae Tell me more about the smell. (And are there blackberries in D.C.?)
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@sarae Tell me more about the smell. (And are there blackberries in D.C.?)
@msbellows I think it's going to be very hard for him to find the smell
the smell comes and goes
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@msbellows I think it's going to be very hard for him to find the smell
the smell comes and goes
@sarae Is... is it under the floorboards?
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@sarae Is... is it under the floorboards?
@msbellows sometimes
other times it sort of wafts down from the soffits
and then it comes right out of the floor vents sometimes and holy shit
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@msbellows sometimes
other times it sort of wafts down from the soffits
and then it comes right out of the floor vents sometimes and holy shit
@sarae Please don't say it also bubbles up from the Jacuzzi jets.
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@sarae Please don't say it also bubbles up from the Jacuzzi jets.
@msbellows no
but someone def keeps peeing in his Jacuzzi filter
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@msbellows no
but someone def keeps peeing in his Jacuzzi filter
@sarae Who doesn't, at least indirectly?
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@msbellows sometimes
other times it sort of wafts down from the soffits
and then it comes right out of the floor vents sometimes and holy shit
@sarae
You are, in other words, cursing him with the mystery smell in @douglasvb's house, but worse.
Yesss. Good. -
@sarae
You are, in other words, cursing him with the mystery smell in @douglasvb's house, but worse.
Yesss. Good. -
@sarae
You are, in other words, cursing him with the mystery smell in @douglasvb's house, but worse.
Yesss. Good.
