I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.

[mast0d0nphan@beige.party]

@msbellows I hope he can't watch it because he's terminally ill.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts ran outside this morning in his underwear to grab the paper, realized the door had locked behind him, walked barefoot and freezing to the back door to see if that was open, realized it wasn't, froze for half an hour before his wife woke up, slipped and fell on the ice banging on the window, and spent the day groaning in bed with sciatica.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts' furnace breaks today.

[waldorf@infosec.exchange]

@msbellows Why not go for it? I hope his kidneys break today!

[msbellows@c.im]

@Waldorf Read upthread.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts broke a glass and cut his finger while mixing his Manhattan tonight.

[catawu@mastodon.social]

@msbellows I hope that rash he’s been hiding from his wife turns out to be he caught it because the woman he was with is married to the guy his wife is secretly having an affair with… and the 4 of them have to explain to public health how and who started the STD epidemic.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts' wife notices a weird pimple on the shaft of his penis as they're about to make love tonight, tells him she has a headache, excuses herself to the bathroom, and quietly starts googling the words "syphilis" and "chancre."

[catawu@mastodon.social]

@msbellows Seriously, I don’t think they ‘make love’ or even have sex. I think they both enjoy screwing over the entire country to the point of exhaustion.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts' hemorrhoid flared up really badly today and even bled through his suit pants a little.

[msbellows@c.im]

@955_36 I'm not seeing how a long shaft commemorates men with penis insecurity.

[msbellows@c.im]

@955_36 Maybe raise it on a really skinny, floppy piece of bamboo.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope John Roberts' cat threw up in his bed last night.

[feloniouspunk@beige.party]

@msbellows I hope he broke both shoe laces this morning.

[irrationalmethod@social.coop]

@msbellows

After having a dying cat who threw up twice a day, often including the early morning hours in our bed, while we were sleeping in it, for at least 6 weeks, I wouldn't wish th... yeah, John Roberts deserves this.

[msbellows@c.im]

@IrrationalMethod When I wrote that, I consciously thought "but the cat's okay."

[irrationalmethod@social.coop]

@msbellows

Oh yeah, John Roberts' cat is perfectly healthy in this wish. I'm not wishing anything on the cat. But also the cat knows how terrible John Roberts is and gives itself a hairball on a nightly basis.

[msbellows@c.im]

I hope peaceful but very loud resistance protestors disrupt John Roberts' church today.

[waldorf@infosec.exchange]

@msbellows John Roberts doesn't go to church! How could you not tell?

[sarae@ecoevo.social]

@msbellows I hope he gets a bad case of indigestion from the casserole at coffee hour