I think we may just have to accept that a lot of journalists have facial blindness.
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This cannot be true. What a bizarre sequence of events. He's a true redemption story. Bigger than Anakin/Vader. Let's get a new Star Wars done but about Dirty Den. We're gonna need an actor to play him. Now I know what you're thinking, but I feel like Dirty Ben might hurt my brand and I'm not keen on the finger in mouth wanking scene. The next most logical choice of course is Olly Murs. Let's get him locked in. We're gonna be rich! Grantham in Space. It's gonna be the feel-good hit of the summer.
Sometimes I just type and I don't know what's going to come out. I am as surprised as anyone.
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Strange to think that his fall from grace - having a consensual wank on a Zoom - would barely have even registered these days. Oh he's done a video wank? So what. Haven't we all? I'm doing one now in my meeting about budget forecasts. So is the FD. Why, sometimes I've done as many as six video conference wanks before breakfast. Bring back Dirty Den, I say. All is forgiven. We no longer kink shame. And anyway it turns out there are a bunch of guys who have been upto much much worse the whole time and we put them in government, so you can carry on doing your acting or whatnot. It's like my old grandpappy used to say - a finger in the mouth is better than an island full of children.
@TheBreadmonkey This, from legal journalist Jeffrey Toobin’s Wikipedia page, is not ideally how you’d want your Wikipedia page to be organised.
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@TheBreadmonkey This, from legal journalist Jeffrey Toobin’s Wikipedia page, is not ideally how you’d want your Wikipedia page to be organised.
@Nickiquote @TheBreadmonkey that incident should be #1!
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@TheBreadmonkey This, from legal journalist Jeffrey Toobin’s Wikipedia page, is not ideally how you’d want your Wikipedia page to be organised.
@Nickiquote @TheBreadmonkey i see nothing wrong with those section names /j
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@TheBreadmonkey This, from legal journalist Jeffrey Toobin’s Wikipedia page, is not ideally how you’d want your Wikipedia page to be organised.
Lol. Once again I find myself wondering if I'm wired different to other men because I would never even consider this as an option. There seems to be so many stories of men caught wanking in unexpected situations. Like..... atop a speeding vehicle or..... on safari. Or during a karate tournament. Just do it more normally, men! Not everything has to be a fuckn competition. Oh you did it up the Eiffel Tower? Or during a blizzard? Well done. You get an award for best wanker. We never see stories for extreme wanks by women. I fear I'm getting into territory I'm not totally comfortable in now and feel I'm painting myself into a corner and that I've talked about wanking too much. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. NO MORE WANKING CHAT. LET'S ALL JUST PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AND GO BACK TO OUR LIVES.
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Lol. Once again I find myself wondering if I'm wired different to other men because I would never even consider this as an option. There seems to be so many stories of men caught wanking in unexpected situations. Like..... atop a speeding vehicle or..... on safari. Or during a karate tournament. Just do it more normally, men! Not everything has to be a fuckn competition. Oh you did it up the Eiffel Tower? Or during a blizzard? Well done. You get an award for best wanker. We never see stories for extreme wanks by women. I fear I'm getting into territory I'm not totally comfortable in now and feel I'm painting myself into a corner and that I've talked about wanking too much. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. NO MORE WANKING CHAT. LET'S ALL JUST PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AND GO BACK TO OUR LIVES.
@TheBreadmonkey I went to Uni with a bloke who liked wanking, and just as he was getting to the vinegar strokes he'd call for his Mum and try to finish before she got there. We nicknamed him "Danger Wanker".@Nickiquote
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@TheBreadmonkey I went to Uni with a bloke who liked wanking, and just as he was getting to the vinegar strokes he'd call for his Mum and try to finish before she got there. We nicknamed him "Danger Wanker".@Nickiquote
@jamesb @TheBreadmonkey Fine and normal. His poor mum.
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Lol. Once again I find myself wondering if I'm wired different to other men because I would never even consider this as an option. There seems to be so many stories of men caught wanking in unexpected situations. Like..... atop a speeding vehicle or..... on safari. Or during a karate tournament. Just do it more normally, men! Not everything has to be a fuckn competition. Oh you did it up the Eiffel Tower? Or during a blizzard? Well done. You get an award for best wanker. We never see stories for extreme wanks by women. I fear I'm getting into territory I'm not totally comfortable in now and feel I'm painting myself into a corner and that I've talked about wanking too much. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. NO MORE WANKING CHAT. LET'S ALL JUST PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AND GO BACK TO OUR LIVES.
@TheBreadmonkey Apparently in that new Wuthering Heights film, Margot Robbie has a wank on a moor, a feat not seen in cinema since Laurence Olivier’s Othello.
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@TheBreadmonkey This, from legal journalist Jeffrey Toobin’s Wikipedia page, is not ideally how you’d want your Wikipedia page to be organised.
@Nickiquote @TheBreadmonkey When masturbation on Zoom is listed before your personal life,..
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@TheBreadmonkey Apparently in that new Wuthering Heights film, Margot Robbie has a wank on a moor, a feat not seen in cinema since Laurence Olivier’s Othello.
She out there really wuthering them heights, huh?
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@TheBreadmonkey Apparently in that new Wuthering Heights film, Margot Robbie has a wank on a moor, a feat not seen in cinema since Laurence Olivier’s Othello.
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@TheBreadmonkey Apparently in that new Wuthering Heights film, Margot Robbie has a wank on a moor, a feat not seen in cinema since Laurence Olivier’s Othello.
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@jamesb @TheBreadmonkey Fine and normal. His poor mum.
@Nickiquote @jamesb @TheBreadmonkey You say that, but given the ‘nature versus nurture’ debate she may be partially responsible.
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@dropbear @TheBreadmonkey A rabbit hole would be one example of a dirty den, yes.
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Sometimes I just type and I don't know what's going to come out. I am as surprised as anyone.
@TheBreadmonkey @Nickiquote But we never get Shakespeare, do we, Ben?
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@TheBreadmonkey Apparently in that new Wuthering Heights film, Margot Robbie has a wank on a moor, a feat not seen in cinema since Laurence Olivier’s Othello.
@Nickiquote @TheBreadmonkey
Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy
I've come, let me in your window -
@dropbear @TheBreadmonkey A rabbit hole would be one example of a dirty den, yes.
VERY good
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@TheBreadmonkey @Nickiquote But we never get Shakespeare, do we, Ben?
Many people are saying that actually I'm much better
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Strange to think that his fall from grace - having a consensual wank on a Zoom - would barely have even registered these days. Oh he's done a video wank? So what. Haven't we all? I'm doing one now in my meeting about budget forecasts. So is the FD. Why, sometimes I've done as many as six video conference wanks before breakfast. Bring back Dirty Den, I say. All is forgiven. We no longer kink shame. And anyway it turns out there are a bunch of guys who have been upto much much worse the whole time and we put them in government, so you can carry on doing your acting or whatnot. It's like my old grandpappy used to say - a finger in the mouth is better than an island full of children.
Had it really caught anyone off guard we would still be callin' it doin' or havin' a Toobin. But it didn't. So we don't.
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Many people are saying that actually I'm much better
