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  3. When you're trans, so many people tell you how hard it is for them.

When you're trans, so many people tell you how hard it is for them.

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  • burnoutqueen@todon.nlB burnoutqueen@todon.nl

    @eleanor "oh oh oh it's so hard seeing you come into your own as a woman"

    Boo fucking hoo fuck you.

    burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
    burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
    burnoutqueen@todon.nl
    wrote last edited by
    #19

    @eleanor I spent my whole life feeling depressed, disgusted, and abjectly horrified that I would be trapped as a man for the whole of it.

    And now I don't feel that way, because I can transition. I can actually see my body become the shape I want it to be, I can actually see myself as a happy and well adjusted person for once. For the first time in my life, I can actually look forward to my future

    eleanor@chaosfem.twE 1 Reply Last reply
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    • moriel@chaosfem.twM moriel@chaosfem.tw

      @celestiallavendar @eleanor

      That hits hard. It's kind of how we felt. Our mother didn't want to know us or love us, she just wanted the person we pretended to be because we were afraid of her.

      eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
      eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
      eleanor@chaosfem.tw
      wrote last edited by
      #20

      @moriel @celestiallavendar hugs to you both.

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      • burnoutqueen@todon.nlB burnoutqueen@todon.nl

        @eleanor I spent my whole life feeling depressed, disgusted, and abjectly horrified that I would be trapped as a man for the whole of it.

        And now I don't feel that way, because I can transition. I can actually see my body become the shape I want it to be, I can actually see myself as a happy and well adjusted person for once. For the first time in my life, I can actually look forward to my future

        eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
        eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
        eleanor@chaosfem.tw
        wrote last edited by
        #21

        @burnoutqueen Even now it's still baffling to me how people can't understand that feeling. Hugs.

        burnoutqueen@todon.nlB 1 Reply Last reply
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        • eleanor@chaosfem.twE eleanor@chaosfem.tw

          @burnoutqueen Even now it's still baffling to me how people can't understand that feeling. Hugs.

          burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
          burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
          burnoutqueen@todon.nl
          wrote last edited by
          #22

          @eleanor im literally the same person I always was. I am still the rabblerousing left winger science person I always was.

          I'm just less angry all the time, more in tune with my emotional state, and way more sociable. Still working on the anxiety and depression part, that is why I have ✨ therapy ✨

          eleanor@chaosfem.twE 1 Reply Last reply
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          • burnoutqueen@todon.nlB burnoutqueen@todon.nl

            @eleanor im literally the same person I always was. I am still the rabblerousing left winger science person I always was.

            I'm just less angry all the time, more in tune with my emotional state, and way more sociable. Still working on the anxiety and depression part, that is why I have ✨ therapy ✨

            eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
            eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
            eleanor@chaosfem.tw
            wrote last edited by
            #23

            @burnoutqueen Same.

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            • eleanor@chaosfem.twE eleanor@chaosfem.tw

              When you're trans, so many people tell you how hard it is for them. How hard it is to lose the person they thought you were. How hard it is to adapt to the person you are. How hard it is to use the right name. How hard it is to use the right pronouns. How hard...how hard....how hard...over and over again, excuse after excuse after excuse. Despite telling you how hard it is, almost none of those people will spend any amount of time thinking about how hard your life has been for you.

              jojo@lgbtqia.spaceJ This user is from outside of this forum
              jojo@lgbtqia.spaceJ This user is from outside of this forum
              jojo@lgbtqia.space
              wrote last edited by
              #24

              @eleanor

              Real. Just because I "wanted" to transition doesn't make it easy. And most of the "hard" crap they talk about is the crap that kept me from transitioning in the first place. Because it seems too fucking hard.

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              • moriel@chaosfem.twM moriel@chaosfem.tw

                @celestiallavendar @eleanor

                That hits hard. It's kind of how we felt. Our mother didn't want to know us or love us, she just wanted the person we pretended to be because we were afraid of her.

                celestiallavendar@icedoatmilk.coffeeC This user is from outside of this forum
                celestiallavendar@icedoatmilk.coffeeC This user is from outside of this forum
                celestiallavendar@icedoatmilk.coffee
                wrote last edited by
                #25

                @moriel@chaosfem.tw @eleanor@chaosfem.tw That's so tough, I'm sorry that you have to deal with that 🫂

                I think in my case it's hard because my parents are accepting
                enough, but they are still struggling with the basics literally years later. Like I'm glad to have a relationship with them, but it sucks that they're probably going to be fucking up my pronouns at my wedding at this rate.

                moriel@chaosfem.twM 1 Reply Last reply
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                • eleanor@chaosfem.twE eleanor@chaosfem.tw

                  @celestiallavendar I scaled back talking to my parents on the phone partially for this reason. Hugs offered.

                  celestiallavendar@icedoatmilk.coffeeC This user is from outside of this forum
                  celestiallavendar@icedoatmilk.coffeeC This user is from outside of this forum
                  celestiallavendar@icedoatmilk.coffee
                  wrote last edited by
                  #26

                  @eleanor@chaosfem.tw Yeah and it sucks because I like talking to them, but hearing that honestly made me feel really bad about it when it's like the one connection I have left to them. And thanks 🫂

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • eleanor@chaosfem.twE eleanor@chaosfem.tw

                    When you're trans, so many people tell you how hard it is for them. How hard it is to lose the person they thought you were. How hard it is to adapt to the person you are. How hard it is to use the right name. How hard it is to use the right pronouns. How hard...how hard....how hard...over and over again, excuse after excuse after excuse. Despite telling you how hard it is, almost none of those people will spend any amount of time thinking about how hard your life has been for you.

                    silentdame@lgbtqia.spaceS This user is from outside of this forum
                    silentdame@lgbtqia.spaceS This user is from outside of this forum
                    silentdame@lgbtqia.space
                    wrote last edited by
                    #27

                    @eleanor 🏳️‍⚧️ being ignored shouldn’t be the norm. How are you?

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                    • eleanor@chaosfem.twE eleanor@chaosfem.tw

                      When you're trans, so many people tell you how hard it is for them. How hard it is to lose the person they thought you were. How hard it is to adapt to the person you are. How hard it is to use the right name. How hard it is to use the right pronouns. How hard...how hard....how hard...over and over again, excuse after excuse after excuse. Despite telling you how hard it is, almost none of those people will spend any amount of time thinking about how hard your life has been for you.

                      mees@sunny.gardenM This user is from outside of this forum
                      mees@sunny.gardenM This user is from outside of this forum
                      mees@sunny.garden
                      wrote last edited by
                      #28

                      @eleanor buncha weirdos. You're becoming happier and more yourself. They should be happy for you! And yes, changing names and pronouns takes effort. But we're all putting in effort for the people we love. And even for strangers. So, pfft.

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                      • celestiallavendar@icedoatmilk.coffeeC celestiallavendar@icedoatmilk.coffee

                        @moriel@chaosfem.tw @eleanor@chaosfem.tw That's so tough, I'm sorry that you have to deal with that 🫂

                        I think in my case it's hard because my parents are accepting
                        enough, but they are still struggling with the basics literally years later. Like I'm glad to have a relationship with them, but it sucks that they're probably going to be fucking up my pronouns at my wedding at this rate.

                        moriel@chaosfem.twM This user is from outside of this forum
                        moriel@chaosfem.twM This user is from outside of this forum
                        moriel@chaosfem.tw
                        wrote last edited by
                        #29

                        @celestiallavendar @eleanor

                        Oh my mother came around after many years. She even went to be with me at the hospital when i had my surgery. But she never did apologize or even acknowledge the harm and emotional abuse she heaped on me for 15 years before i got out from her control

                        i do hope you parents can at lest be nice at the wedding.

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