My mother and younger sister insist they don't have hobbies.
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My mother and younger sister insist they don't have hobbies. Neither of them works full time.
I've tried for years to figure out what they DO all day. Maybe they have a secret hobby that they don't call a hobby? Maybe I just don't know them well enough?
I awkwardly ask questions about how they spend their time every time they visit, but still nothing.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, it's just hard for me to connect with them.
@pleia2 Chillaxing is also a hobby. And a damn good one
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My mother and younger sister insist they don't have hobbies. Neither of them works full time.
I've tried for years to figure out what they DO all day. Maybe they have a secret hobby that they don't call a hobby? Maybe I just don't know them well enough?
I awkwardly ask questions about how they spend their time every time they visit, but still nothing.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, it's just hard for me to connect with them.
@pleia2 kudos to you for going the extra mile.
I totally relate to your situation!
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My mother and younger sister insist they don't have hobbies. Neither of them works full time.
I've tried for years to figure out what they DO all day. Maybe they have a secret hobby that they don't call a hobby? Maybe I just don't know them well enough?
I awkwardly ask questions about how they spend their time every time they visit, but still nothing.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, it's just hard for me to connect with them.
@pleia2 I always feel 'hobby' is too strong a word for anything I do in my spare time. I geek out, but it never feels structured enough I'd call it a hobby? -
@pleia2 Chillaxing is also a hobby. And a damn good one
@jwildeboer Honestly half of me thinks I'm the one doing life wrong. Chillaxing is hard, I get so bored.
Pass me a jigsaw puzzle or Lego set while we do nothing, please. I was fixing a ribbon advancing issue in one of my old typewriters the other day while my mom and I caught up.
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@pleia2 I always feel 'hobby' is too strong a word for anything I do in my spare time. I geek out, but it never feels structured enough I'd call it a hobby?
@noodles Yeah, I can see that. I'm coming up short with every term I've tried for "what you do in your free time".
As far as I can tell they're also not big TV watchers, which perplexed me further.
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My mother and younger sister insist they don't have hobbies. Neither of them works full time.
I've tried for years to figure out what they DO all day. Maybe they have a secret hobby that they don't call a hobby? Maybe I just don't know them well enough?
I awkwardly ask questions about how they spend their time every time they visit, but still nothing.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, it's just hard for me to connect with them.
@pleia2 I wonder the same with my dad. Since he retired years ago, he has passed his days doing things. But what does he do? It's hard to see and for him hard to explain. He can take a lot longer than anybody else to make coffee. He can phone firms and spend half hours with call center agents until they do what he wants (That skill is very, very useful.) Then, he can watch some TV, but not really as he does other things in parallel. Then, he goes to the shops to buy something that could be bought equally well during the weekly haul on Saturday. However, at the end of the day, his cave isn't any better organised, nor is there some indication of a hobby to show for (knitting, puzzle, craft, anything) or any book read. But he has read the newspaper, watched the news, checked something on Wikipedia, had coffee with the neighbours and made the above-mentioned call center agent question their life choices.
A full day of activity, but no hobby.
Maybe that's a bit similar to what you see? -
@pleia2 I wonder the same with my dad. Since he retired years ago, he has passed his days doing things. But what does he do? It's hard to see and for him hard to explain. He can take a lot longer than anybody else to make coffee. He can phone firms and spend half hours with call center agents until they do what he wants (That skill is very, very useful.) Then, he can watch some TV, but not really as he does other things in parallel. Then, he goes to the shops to buy something that could be bought equally well during the weekly haul on Saturday. However, at the end of the day, his cave isn't any better organised, nor is there some indication of a hobby to show for (knitting, puzzle, craft, anything) or any book read. But he has read the newspaper, watched the news, checked something on Wikipedia, had coffee with the neighbours and made the above-mentioned call center agent question their life choices.
A full day of activity, but no hobby.
Maybe that's a bit similar to what you see?@jsl Yeah, it's very similar.
My mother tells me that she makes sure she leaves the house every day for some errand or another just to stay active and get out. I guess this is all just done at a very leisurely pace.
Maybe she does things like opening her mail every day! Mine is skimmed when it comes in and dealt with in a giant pile once a month while I'm watching TV. I expect there are a lot of tasks like this. My car really needs an oil change.
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My mother and younger sister insist they don't have hobbies. Neither of them works full time.
I've tried for years to figure out what they DO all day. Maybe they have a secret hobby that they don't call a hobby? Maybe I just don't know them well enough?
I awkwardly ask questions about how they spend their time every time they visit, but still nothing.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, it's just hard for me to connect with them.
@pleia2 I often wondered the same about my mother-in-law! But she's found an antiques club now. (Although we sometimes suspect her real hobby is being mad about interpersonal stuff from the stories we get about antiques club
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@jsl Yeah, it's very similar.
My mother tells me that she makes sure she leaves the house every day for some errand or another just to stay active and get out. I guess this is all just done at a very leisurely pace.
Maybe she does things like opening her mail every day! Mine is skimmed when it comes in and dealt with in a giant pile once a month while I'm watching TV. I expect there are a lot of tasks like this. My car really needs an oil change.
@pleia2 Definitely that. Doing things when you notice them and have nothing more urgent lined up than a cup of tea is a very, very different perception of time than having a day job, a household, maybe a family.
I have hopes to do all the things I want to do now once I've retired. But maybe the importance of these things diminishes once you have near infinite free time on your hand and you can really sit down with a cup and a book? -
My mother and younger sister insist they don't have hobbies. Neither of them works full time.
I've tried for years to figure out what they DO all day. Maybe they have a secret hobby that they don't call a hobby? Maybe I just don't know them well enough?
I awkwardly ask questions about how they spend their time every time they visit, but still nothing.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, it's just hard for me to connect with them.
@pleia2 When I go on first dates and the other party appears to have no hobbies, that's definitely a minus point for me. To me hobbies need not be achievements or productive, they're just how one spends their time.
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R relay@relay.an.exchange shared this topic
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@pleia2 When I go on first dates and the other party appears to have no hobbies, that's definitely a minus point for me. To me hobbies need not be achievements or productive, they're just how one spends their time.
@alison For me it's something to connect over, "Oh, you love plants, tell me all about them! Do you have as greenhouse? Is there a club?"
Otherwise we're talking about the weather or something equally dull.
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@alison For me it's something to connect over, "Oh, you love plants, tell me all about them! Do you have as greenhouse? Is there a club?"
Otherwise we're talking about the weather or something equally dull.
@pleia2 I've often had that conversation with spouses of favorite coworkers. If they aren't techie, don't read books, don't exercise and are disinterested in music and cooking, I tend to be a bit stumped. Then it's best just to ask what moves them. If you don't get an answer then, the conversation is over.
