Roses are redViolets are blueCyanosis follows severe haemorrhagingAnd no amount of sugar will save you
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
I had a housemate who 3 years in a row had (different) boyfriends turn up on the doorstep on said day in what they thought was a big romantic gesture. One had just ridden his motorbike 5hrs from Devon. She dumped them on the doorstep not letting them in, in what became known amongst our friends as the Valentine's day massacres. It's still unknown whether hermaphrodite genitalia presented was the cause, but it's starting to make sense all these yrs later. More enquires seem appropriate
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@HighlandLawyer @cstross
No problem, little buddy. I love you too.
I know you chuck up it's liver in my bed in a few hours
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross It's less useful. The cat is making you a gift of food, the most precious resource a cat can imagine. Plant genitals are markedly less precious.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross well, yes, it's exactly the same, because it's about the context, not the gift. i know this is stupid, but it's romantic because it's a gift you only give in a romantic circumstance (well, red flowers).
if we had a long tradition of giving disemboweled rodents, then that would be romantic as well (as opposed to, for a cat: look, i'm a family member! i'm providing food too! which i suppose for a cat is quite close)
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross There's a real double standard here, because people can be really picky about WHICH severed genitalia are acceptable.
Get it right, and it's "sweet" and “romantic”. But make one tiny mistake, and suddenly the person you love most is calling you a “monster" and a "serial killer”.
I hate Valentine’s Day.
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@cstross There's a real double standard here, because people can be really picky about WHICH severed genitalia are acceptable.
Get it right, and it's "sweet" and “romantic”. But make one tiny mistake, and suddenly the person you love most is calling you a “monster" and a "serial killer”.
I hate Valentine’s Day.
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Cyanosis follows severe haemorrhaging
And no amount of sugar will save you@cstross
Quasars shift red
Hot stars burn blue
Space is warped
And so are you.Ps keep writing.
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Cyanosis follows severe haemorrhaging
And no amount of sugar will save you@cstross Cyanosis requires 5g/100ml of Haemoglobin - a statement I simply accepted, but given by people who knew.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross Consider it a ritual gesture of compliance, imposed by reinforcement learning, that demonstrates your predictability and excess economic capacity, and grants your ongoing membership in the resource management unit.
Much as my cat has learned that the rodents are to be placed in a particular spot in the back garden and the chief monkey alerted to deal with final dispatch and disposal. The ritual demonstrates the cat's execution of its main economic function (rodent control) in return for dinner and a warm place to sleep.
Ritual disembowelment and dismemberment is going to happen. Just make sure it isn't you.
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@cstross There's a real double standard here, because people can be really picky about WHICH severed genitalia are acceptable.
Get it right, and it's "sweet" and “romantic”. But make one tiny mistake, and suddenly the person you love most is calling you a “monster" and a "serial killer”.
I hate Valentine’s Day.
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@cstross There's a real double standard here, because people can be really picky about WHICH severed genitalia are acceptable.
Get it right, and it's "sweet" and “romantic”. But make one tiny mistake, and suddenly the person you love most is calling you a “monster" and a "serial killer”.
I hate Valentine’s Day.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross we are animals with money and math. Not otherwise.
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@HighlandLawyer @cstross Better than leaving it where you’ll step on it, like when stepping out of the shower.
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@cstross There's a real double standard here, because people can be really picky about WHICH severed genitalia are acceptable.
Get it right, and it's "sweet" and “romantic”. But make one tiny mistake, and suddenly the person you love most is calling you a “monster" and a "serial killer”.
I hate Valentine’s Day.
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@HighlandLawyer @cstross Better than leaving it where you’ll step on it, like when stepping out of the shower.
@JamesPadraicR @HighlandLawyer
I had this one particularly stupid cat who kept trying to teach me to hunt by bringing me a live earthworm every morning.
You do not want to wake up by treading barefoot on a live earthworm on your way to the bathroom.
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@JamesPadraicR @HighlandLawyer
I had this one particularly stupid cat who kept trying to teach me to hunt by bringing me a live earthworm every morning.
You do not want to wake up by treading barefoot on a live earthworm on your way to the bathroom.
@cstross @HighlandLawyer When I stepped out pf the shower it was just the mouse’s ribs and a rear leg. A little later I found my cat Sabra had left a gutted mouse in another room.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross No kink shaming. Some people like rotting plant genitalia.
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@cstross @HighlandLawyer When I stepped out pf the shower it was just the mouse’s ribs and a rear leg. A little later I found my cat Sabra had left a gutted mouse in another room.
@cstross @HighlandLawyer I’m resisting the urge to share some cat-sitting stories.
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@cstross @HighlandLawyer I’m resisting the urge to share some cat-sitting stories.
@JamesPadraicR @cstross
I am not sure how a cat can get a whole, full grown (deceased) rabbit through a cat flap, but apparently consuming it in the scullery is sometimes preferable to doing so in the fields or garden.Perils of rural life.
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Listen, I fail to see what's romantic about thrusting a bundle of severed hermaphrodite genitalia at your love interest. They may be collected from sessile photoautotrophs as a traditional human invitation to copulation but it's somewhere on the same continuum as a gift of disemboweled rodents from your pet cat.
@cstross Quite a few of those severed genitalia can be a bit tricky with a cat in the house too.
I mean I was under strict instructions to never ever bring lilies anyway…
