"It's no good trying to keep up old friendships.
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@AinsleyLowbeer @michelestrider That is already the standard. The energy consumption required to mine cryptocurrency hurts us all.
@AinsleyLowbeer @not2b Because real life has become a William Gibson novel.
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"It's no good trying to keep up old friendships. It's painful for both sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing is to face it."
You post a final message to your former social media hangout and log out for good. It's done. The 22-year family/class/work reunion is over. You're free.
You stare blankly at your phone, now dark and idle in your hand, and open your laptop—the responsible computer. You need something to give your life meaning/stave off boredom. You need a hobby.
You know what has original music, impressive art, and compelling stories? Video games. You open Steam, not to run around with elves for the next three hours, but as a deep dive into the current state of the digital arts. This is serious study. It could take four hours.
You're happily leading a band of misfits down a danger-path when you get an in-game message. You didn't know this game had that feature. You click on it, hoping for a sale.
"We've been monitoring you," it says. "Please reply."
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@AinsleyLowbeer @not2b Because real life has become a William Gibson novel.
Every oligarch has their mining center.
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Every oligarch has their mining center.
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You know what has original music, impressive art, and compelling stories? Video games. You open Steam, not to run around with elves for the next three hours, but as a deep dive into the current state of the digital arts. This is serious study. It could take four hours.
You're happily leading a band of misfits down a danger-path when you get an in-game message. You didn't know this game had that feature. You click on it, hoping for a sale.
"We've been monitoring you," it says. "Please reply."
@michelestrider
Delete game. Destroy computer. Move. Change your name. -
@michelestrider
Delete game. Destroy computer. Move. Change your name.@RealGene That's the smart answer, obviously, but we don't do that here. 🤪
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You know what has original music, impressive art, and compelling stories? Video games. You open Steam, not to run around with elves for the next three hours, but as a deep dive into the current state of the digital arts. This is serious study. It could take four hours.
You're happily leading a band of misfits down a danger-path when you get an in-game message. You didn't know this game had that feature. You click on it, hoping for a sale.
"We've been monitoring you," it says. "Please reply."
"Hot. What r u wearing?" you type and hit reply.
You don't expect a response, especially so fast:
"This is serious."
"Suuuuuure," you type, uncertain if you used enough "U"s.
"Have you seen The Last Starfighter?" they ask.
"Nope."
"The Sword in the Stone?"
"Nope."
"The Lord of the Rings?"
"Nope."
"Read any YA books? Manga? The Bible? Any story where it's all on one person to save the world?"
"Nope."
You can almost hear the sigh as they type. "You've been chosen. Where can we meet?"
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"Hot. What r u wearing?" you type and hit reply.
You don't expect a response, especially so fast:
"This is serious."
"Suuuuuure," you type, uncertain if you used enough "U"s.
"Have you seen The Last Starfighter?" they ask.
"Nope."
"The Sword in the Stone?"
"Nope."
"The Lord of the Rings?"
"Nope."
"Read any YA books? Manga? The Bible? Any story where it's all on one person to save the world?"
"Nope."
You can almost hear the sigh as they type. "You've been chosen. Where can we meet?"
@michelestrider
Local bookshop, and watch from the shadows until they pick up an acceptable book -
@michelestrider
Local bookshop, and watch from the shadows until they pick up an acceptable book@mloxton You've done this before
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"Hot. What r u wearing?" you type and hit reply.
You don't expect a response, especially so fast:
"This is serious."
"Suuuuuure," you type, uncertain if you used enough "U"s.
"Have you seen The Last Starfighter?" they ask.
"Nope."
"The Sword in the Stone?"
"Nope."
"The Lord of the Rings?"
"Nope."
"Read any YA books? Manga? The Bible? Any story where it's all on one person to save the world?"
"Nope."
You can almost hear the sigh as they type. "You've been chosen. Where can we meet?"
You're craving pie, so you tell them to meet you at the diner across the street. Flipping up the collar of your most spy-worthy trench coat, you head over to watch from your favorite booth.
As you wait for the waitress to bring coffee, three people enter. Very Matrix looking.
"That must be them," you think, and are immediately proven right when they crowd into your booth.
"We know what you look like," the tall woman informs you, exhausted. "We came to recruit you, remember? Which pie's best?"
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You're craving pie, so you tell them to meet you at the diner across the street. Flipping up the collar of your most spy-worthy trench coat, you head over to watch from your favorite booth.
As you wait for the waitress to bring coffee, three people enter. Very Matrix looking.
"That must be them," you think, and are immediately proven right when they crowd into your booth.
"We know what you look like," the tall woman informs you, exhausted. "We came to recruit you, remember? Which pie's best?"
@michelestrider
Is this the apple vampire diner? -
@michelestrider
Is this the apple vampire diner?@smolwaffle That is a VERY good question
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You're craving pie, so you tell them to meet you at the diner across the street. Flipping up the collar of your most spy-worthy trench coat, you head over to watch from your favorite booth.
As you wait for the waitress to bring coffee, three people enter. Very Matrix looking.
"That must be them," you think, and are immediately proven right when they crowd into your booth.
"We know what you look like," the tall woman informs you, exhausted. "We came to recruit you, remember? Which pie's best?"
@michelestrider
Sigh. Now I want Key lime pie. -
@michelestrider
Sigh. Now I want Key lime pie.@gueuledatmosphere That does sound really good
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You're craving pie, so you tell them to meet you at the diner across the street. Flipping up the collar of your most spy-worthy trench coat, you head over to watch from your favorite booth.
As you wait for the waitress to bring coffee, three people enter. Very Matrix looking.
"That must be them," you think, and are immediately proven right when they crowd into your booth.
"We know what you look like," the tall woman informs you, exhausted. "We came to recruit you, remember? Which pie's best?"
"Apple crumble," you decide. They order slices of the other three pies.
A familiar-looking plaid-clad waitress brings your coffee and pie. She calls you "hon" and gives you an odd wink.
You shake off the deja vu and address the issue at hand: pie. Halfway to the crust, you address the second issue.
"Recruit me for what?"
"I thought we covered that," sighs the tall woman. "To save the world."
"From what?"
"Don't laugh. Elves."
You giggle.
"You have the skills we need. Name your reward."
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"Apple crumble," you decide. They order slices of the other three pies.
A familiar-looking plaid-clad waitress brings your coffee and pie. She calls you "hon" and gives you an odd wink.
You shake off the deja vu and address the issue at hand: pie. Halfway to the crust, you address the second issue.
"Recruit me for what?"
"I thought we covered that," sighs the tall woman. "To save the world."
"From what?"
"Don't laugh. Elves."
You giggle.
"You have the skills we need. Name your reward."
@michelestrider I’ll do it for a FIFA Peace Prize
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"Apple crumble," you decide. They order slices of the other three pies.
A familiar-looking plaid-clad waitress brings your coffee and pie. She calls you "hon" and gives you an odd wink.
You shake off the deja vu and address the issue at hand: pie. Halfway to the crust, you address the second issue.
"Recruit me for what?"
"I thought we covered that," sighs the tall woman. "To save the world."
"From what?"
"Don't laugh. Elves."
You giggle.
"You have the skills we need. Name your reward."
@michelestrider
Money, in the Elvish currency: the Presley -
"Apple crumble," you decide. They order slices of the other three pies.
A familiar-looking plaid-clad waitress brings your coffee and pie. She calls you "hon" and gives you an odd wink.
You shake off the deja vu and address the issue at hand: pie. Halfway to the crust, you address the second issue.
"Recruit me for what?"
"I thought we covered that," sighs the tall woman. "To save the world."
"From what?"
"Don't laugh. Elves."
You giggle.
"You have the skills we need. Name your reward."
@michelestrider I would have gone for housekeeping services, but voted money since I could buy it myself I guess.
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@michelestrider I’ll do it for a FIFA Peace Prize
@petes_bread_eqn_xls That IS the dream
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@michelestrider I would have gone for housekeeping services, but voted money since I could buy it myself I guess.
@sbourne Oh, that's good. Now I want housekeeping services
