one of the problems with being a mad scientist is that you can scope creep really fast
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So let's just automate that.
We take the post text, generate a visual basic source file for it, then boot windows 98, compile the visual basic, run the EXE, take a screenshot, shutdown
"easy", for certain values of "easy"
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"easy", for certain values of "easy"
But where do we run the code?
Well there's two obvious options that are sufficiently Mad Scientist enough to be interesting enough to do:1. In the browser. Do this client-side. Boot a VM in the browser that runs Visual Basic and then the resulting EXE and shows that to the user
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But where do we run the code?
Well there's two obvious options that are sufficiently Mad Scientist enough to be interesting enough to do:1. In the browser. Do this client-side. Boot a VM in the browser that runs Visual Basic and then the resulting EXE and shows that to the user
Might get CEASE AND DESIST'd by Microsoft, but fuck it, it'll be funny
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Might get CEASE AND DESIST'd by Microsoft, but fuck it, it'll be funny
2. hardware
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2. hardware
set up a Pentium-60 to boot into Windows 95, compile some Visual Basic code, and then run it.
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set up a Pentium-60 to boot into Windows 95, compile some Visual Basic code, and then run it.
How do you get the image?
Easy. We just photograph the CRT
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How do you get the image?
Easy. We just photograph the CRT
But how does the generated Visual Basic code get into the Pentium-90 desktop?
Well, it doesn't have a network card. I could add one, but /boring/
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But how does the generated Visual Basic code get into the Pentium-90 desktop?
Well, it doesn't have a network card. I could add one, but /boring/
same for a WiFi232 on the serial port. boring.
hey I wrote some code a while ago to emulate a PS/2 keyboard, I could just type it in!
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same for a WiFi232 on the serial port. boring.
hey I wrote some code a while ago to emulate a PS/2 keyboard, I could just type it in!
The next obvious option is to set up a floppy autoloader
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But how does the generated Visual Basic code get into the Pentium-90 desktop?
Well, it doesn't have a network card. I could add one, but /boring/
@foone cloud-init for windows 9x with a config drive that looks like atapi to windows but is actually something cursed
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The next obvious option is to set up a floppy autoloader
that could be done without being too difficult by simply using a Gotek running FlashFloppy and something emulating USB storage (or making a Trick USB cable that can be in two computers at once)
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that could be done without being too difficult by simply using a Gotek running FlashFloppy and something emulating USB storage (or making a Trick USB cable that can be in two computers at once)
but the far more fun answer would be to build a machine to eject floppies out of some other network-attached computer and inserts them into the Pentium, and vice versa.
Air-gapped
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but the far more fun answer would be to build a machine to eject floppies out of some other network-attached computer and inserts them into the Pentium, and vice versa.
Air-gapped
could also get some servos and physically manipulate the keyboard. really air-gap it
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But how does the generated Visual Basic code get into the Pentium-90 desktop?
Well, it doesn't have a network card. I could add one, but /boring/
@foone On the other hand, "net send" really *does* feel like the right thing to kick off a social media post.
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could also get some servos and physically manipulate the keyboard. really air-gap it
POP QUIZ: how many servos do you need, if you need to be able to type all the symbol keys on a QWERTY-US keyboard (49 keys), plus the following keys:
F5 (to run the program after we type in the code)
Enter (to close the popup after we take the photo, which will then trigger a shutdown) -
could also get some servos and physically manipulate the keyboard. really air-gap it
@foone Robotic hands that can touch type. When you control-v have the hands type out what is in the paste buffer (or piped to a command).
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POP QUIZ: how many servos do you need, if you need to be able to type all the symbol keys on a QWERTY-US keyboard (49 keys), plus the following keys:
F5 (to run the program after we type in the code)
Enter (to close the popup after we take the photo, which will then trigger a shutdown)The system doesn't have a power supply that windows 95 can turn off automatically (It's a little too old for that), so while I could have the monitoring hardware watch the screen for the "it's now safe to turn off your computer" screen, I'd probably just make it wait 60 seconds after we issue the shutdown, then yank the power.
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POP QUIZ: how many servos do you need, if you need to be able to type all the symbol keys on a QWERTY-US keyboard (49 keys), plus the following keys:
F5 (to run the program after we type in the code)
Enter (to close the popup after we take the photo, which will then trigger a shutdown)@foone how many servos are in a 3D printer? or a plotter? -
But where do we run the code?
Well there's two obvious options that are sufficiently Mad Scientist enough to be interesting enough to do:1. In the browser. Do this client-side. Boot a VM in the browser that runs Visual Basic and then the resulting EXE and shows that to the user
@foone Could you make Wine emulate dialog boxes close enough? And run in a browser?...
Hmm there's already stuff like BoxedWine, could you load the real Windows icons and fonts, and get the title bars close enough? -
POP QUIZ: how many servos do you need, if you need to be able to type all the symbol keys on a QWERTY-US keyboard (49 keys), plus the following keys:
F5 (to run the program after we type in the code)
Enter (to close the popup after we take the photo, which will then trigger a shutdown)@foone If you use a grid of rods, 18. Combine "Columns" (1qaz, 2wsx, 3edc etc.) and rows so that activating each pair pushes down far enough to trigger the key.
