In an effort to capture the burgeoning hot dog industry once and for all, I sign a deal to purchase every hot dog produced by Oscar Mayer over the next year.

[isaaclyman@toot.cafe]

In an effort to capture the burgeoning hot dog industry once and for all, I sign a deal to purchase every hot dog produced by Oscar Mayer over the next year. “Hot dogs aren’t just for hot dogs,” I proclaim in my 6 billion dollar Super Bowl ad, “they power everything with a tube of meat in it.” The market rewards me with a 400x stock valuation on imaginary revenue from the hot dogs I mostly give away for free by sticking them in the tailpipes of US Postal Service vans