Between “I’m Fine” and the Truth of What’s Breaking InsideThe phrase that unsettles those around me the most, that weighs heavily on their ears, is my saying: I’m fine.A sentence that seems fleeting, yet convinces no one… not even me. As if it were a linguistic mask I wear whenever I fail to explain what is breaking inside me.In this war, the blows were not rare; they were continuous and harsh, striking the soul before the body.We lost so much… in fact, we lost something deeper than loss itself. Our shock in some people was greater than what the mind can comprehend; we saw faces fall away from their masks, and others reshape themselves into strange versions, even to their own owners.We lived through famine, displacement, and deprivation, until pain was no longer an exception but a daily companion, part of our smallest details.And amid all this, traits we never knew in people awakened: greed spread, betrayal was exposed, and selfishness grew—not as passing traits, but as deep wounds that silently tore our social fabric apart.I have endured many breakdowns, and crises have become entangled around me until my possibilities were suffocated.And yet… I kept trying.Not for myself alone, but for my children, for those under my care, for eyes that depend on me for stability and safety. I resisted my weakness, because my weakness is not a personal matter; when I bend, the small world I carry on my shoulders loses its balance.Gaza was not destroyed only in its buildings and infrastructure, and the loss was not merely material—something deeper was broken: our bonds, our trust, and the warmth of our relationships that used to mend us whenever we fractured.At the heart of this chaos:the strong is not the one who does not feel pain,but the one who can hold himself together in the storm and manage his losses as best as he can.Weakness, on the other hand, is not a tear or a pain—it is losing one’s compass and harming oneself and those around them.That is why…when I say “I’m fine,” those around me are disturbed.Because they see what I cannot say, and feel what I hide behind my silence.But the truth I cannot afford to deny is:even if I am not fineI must appear so,I must appear completely fine,for the sake of those I love.A support link for my family️️️https://gofund.me/83e09b493#Gaza#PalestineFrom the last photos I took in my office before the war.
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