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CIRCLE WITH A DOT

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  3. I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.

I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.

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  • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

    If you have got this far, perhaps you would welcome some suggestions for fedizens who I follow, who post sex-related stuff.

    @girlonthenet: the queen of text and audio smut, with multiple books under her belt too.

    @mindpersephone: short form text, often sci-fi and genderqueer.

    @JenJen: beautiful hand drawn smut, interspersed with rants about Linux.

    @alice: more lockpicking than smut, but smut is there, and especially #AltAfterDark.

    Newer to me:

    @Jaimieserotica: a relatively new blogger, with a mix of fiction and non-fiction (I think!)

    @GoingDownWithSundial: another relatively new smut blogger, also touching on neurodiversity

    (And, look, I apologise in advance for the people who I will inevitably omit by accident; it is not personal, I am simply fallible. I have not included people who post nudes because that doesn't necessarily mean "sexual".

    By all means add your own suggestions / your own blog / self-promotion.)

    mindpersephone@spookygirl.booM This user is from outside of this forum
    mindpersephone@spookygirl.booM This user is from outside of this forum
    mindpersephone@spookygirl.boo
    wrote last edited by
    #22

    @neil @girlonthenet @JenJen @alice @Jaimieserotica @GoingDownWithSundial thank you Neil! 😘

    And welcome to the new folk following. Don't worry, I won't be offended if you see a few of my posts and decide I'm not for you and unfollow. I'm not everyones cup of tea.

    girlonthenet@mastodon.socialG 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

      I woke up still pondering @girlonthenet's lamentation (I think; https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/116353766078817354), that while lots of people enjoy her sex blog, few people boost her toots about it.

      I follow and chat with quite a lot of sex positive / sex-related people here, and many have expressed similar sentiments. It must be demoralising.

      I don't have good ideas here, but it would be such a shame to lose this wonderful diverse friendly bunch of creative people.

      kotking@blorbo.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
      kotking@blorbo.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
      kotking@blorbo.social
      wrote last edited by
      #23

      @neil @girlonthenet I want to highlight some experience in exploring fedi and what I settled on.
      I agree with your points that sex/porn isn't shared as much by vocal people. Still I got into Misskey.io in search of fan art and local culture of Japanese is vastly different than local culture of other fedi places. Misskey.io follow local Japanese laws so you can guess what is allowed where it's shunned elsewhere, but there a lot of sfw/nsfw art (I have 0 knowledge in Japanese so no clue about written stuff). So really it feels like people are really reserved to share someone else nsfw work because... Some fedi instances not allow that.
      I saw my account marked as sensible, so my posts and boosts aren't showing up for many people. What I did was sharing nsfw fan art for game I invested in because... There barely any talk on instances I settled in. So afterwards I just have my Misskey.io as share fan art be it sfw/nsfw while my main is for sharing opinions or trying to promote few stuff I do.

      So biggest problem my guess is stigma against sex and further muting by fedi instances administration accounts that are both nsfw or boosts nsfw. You only immune to muting if people follow you, but if they don't. Then you will never appear in the discovery.

      neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • kotking@blorbo.socialK kotking@blorbo.social

        @neil @girlonthenet I want to highlight some experience in exploring fedi and what I settled on.
        I agree with your points that sex/porn isn't shared as much by vocal people. Still I got into Misskey.io in search of fan art and local culture of Japanese is vastly different than local culture of other fedi places. Misskey.io follow local Japanese laws so you can guess what is allowed where it's shunned elsewhere, but there a lot of sfw/nsfw art (I have 0 knowledge in Japanese so no clue about written stuff). So really it feels like people are really reserved to share someone else nsfw work because... Some fedi instances not allow that.
        I saw my account marked as sensible, so my posts and boosts aren't showing up for many people. What I did was sharing nsfw fan art for game I invested in because... There barely any talk on instances I settled in. So afterwards I just have my Misskey.io as share fan art be it sfw/nsfw while my main is for sharing opinions or trying to promote few stuff I do.

        So biggest problem my guess is stigma against sex and further muting by fedi instances administration accounts that are both nsfw or boosts nsfw. You only immune to muting if people follow you, but if they don't. Then you will never appear in the discovery.

        neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
        neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
        neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
        wrote last edited by
        #24

        @kotking

        > Some fedi instances not allow that.

        Yes, this is a very valid point.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

          If you have got this far, perhaps you would welcome some suggestions for fedizens who I follow, who post sex-related stuff.

          @girlonthenet: the queen of text and audio smut, with multiple books under her belt too.

          @mindpersephone: short form text, often sci-fi and genderqueer.

          @JenJen: beautiful hand drawn smut, interspersed with rants about Linux.

          @alice: more lockpicking than smut, but smut is there, and especially #AltAfterDark.

          Newer to me:

          @Jaimieserotica: a relatively new blogger, with a mix of fiction and non-fiction (I think!)

          @GoingDownWithSundial: another relatively new smut blogger, also touching on neurodiversity

          (And, look, I apologise in advance for the people who I will inevitably omit by accident; it is not personal, I am simply fallible. I have not included people who post nudes because that doesn't necessarily mean "sexual".

          By all means add your own suggestions / your own blog / self-promotion.)

          jaimieserotica@kinkycats.orgJ This user is from outside of this forum
          jaimieserotica@kinkycats.orgJ This user is from outside of this forum
          jaimieserotica@kinkycats.org
          wrote last edited by
          #25

          @neil
          That's quite the list, and I'm honoured to be on it. Sundial correctly points out that @nymphostimtoy fully deserves a mention too.
          Yeah - most of my stuff is fiction but there are a handful of true stories too.
          Jx
          @girlonthenet @mindpersephone @JenJen @alice @GoingDownWithSundial

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

            If you have got this far, perhaps you would welcome some suggestions for fedizens who I follow, who post sex-related stuff.

            @girlonthenet: the queen of text and audio smut, with multiple books under her belt too.

            @mindpersephone: short form text, often sci-fi and genderqueer.

            @JenJen: beautiful hand drawn smut, interspersed with rants about Linux.

            @alice: more lockpicking than smut, but smut is there, and especially #AltAfterDark.

            Newer to me:

            @Jaimieserotica: a relatively new blogger, with a mix of fiction and non-fiction (I think!)

            @GoingDownWithSundial: another relatively new smut blogger, also touching on neurodiversity

            (And, look, I apologise in advance for the people who I will inevitably omit by accident; it is not personal, I am simply fallible. I have not included people who post nudes because that doesn't necessarily mean "sexual".

            By all means add your own suggestions / your own blog / self-promotion.)

            goingdownwithsundial@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
            goingdownwithsundial@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
            goingdownwithsundial@mastodon.social
            wrote last edited by
            #26

            @neil

            Thank you for the networking!

            I'm going to scramble up my timeline now and reboost some of my own blogs for new followers. It seems to be in a mess of me-related-reality stuff and blogs are buried further down 😮

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

              Hmm... I wonder (I told you that I was pondering!) if there is an added factor here, of the fedi demographic: of older people, perhaps especially men (don't laugh), being self-aware of engaging with younger adults posting sex-related stuff, and coming across as creepy. Perhaps?

              afewbugs@social.coopA This user is from outside of this forum
              afewbugs@social.coopA This user is from outside of this forum
              afewbugs@social.coop
              wrote last edited by
              #27

              @neil speaking as a woman who used to be on Twitter, I learned pretty early on not to mention anything that could be even remotely construed as sexual on the internet because it immediately attracted a lot of the kind of attention I didn't want. Mastodon seems a lot better but I don't know if that genuinely is a platform thing or just that I'm in my forties now so have aged out of the bracket creeps like to hit on. It's shit, women are full human beings too who like sex as much as anyone else and in an ideal world we'd talk about it as much as we talk about our jobs or hobbies or pets, but my early experiences on the internet taught me that if you express any interest in anything remotely sexual a dozen sleazy men will suddenly assume you want to be sexual with them.

              neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN theowrites@ack.nerdfight.onlineT 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                Hmm... I wonder (I told you that I was pondering!) if there is an added factor here, of the fedi demographic: of older people, perhaps especially men (don't laugh), being self-aware of engaging with younger adults posting sex-related stuff, and coming across as creepy. Perhaps?

                kinkypond@unvernunft.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                kinkypond@unvernunft.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                kinkypond@unvernunft.social
                wrote last edited by
                #28

                @neil To add to you thoughts, which I think are very valid: At least in my bubble on early twitter we were conditioned to never RT someones nsfw/hot content. People had many reasons for not wanting their content spread outside of their following and it reguarly caused a shitstorm if someone did.

                I will have to unlearn that habit of never hitting the boost button for kinky things.

                neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • afewbugs@social.coopA afewbugs@social.coop

                  @neil speaking as a woman who used to be on Twitter, I learned pretty early on not to mention anything that could be even remotely construed as sexual on the internet because it immediately attracted a lot of the kind of attention I didn't want. Mastodon seems a lot better but I don't know if that genuinely is a platform thing or just that I'm in my forties now so have aged out of the bracket creeps like to hit on. It's shit, women are full human beings too who like sex as much as anyone else and in an ideal world we'd talk about it as much as we talk about our jobs or hobbies or pets, but my early experiences on the internet taught me that if you express any interest in anything remotely sexual a dozen sleazy men will suddenly assume you want to be sexual with them.

                  neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                  neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                  neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                  wrote last edited by
                  #29

                  @afewbugs

                  > if you express any interest in anything remotely sexual a dozen sleazy men will suddenly assume you want to be sexual with them.

                  Right there. Yes.

                  *sigh*

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • kinkypond@unvernunft.socialK kinkypond@unvernunft.social

                    @neil To add to you thoughts, which I think are very valid: At least in my bubble on early twitter we were conditioned to never RT someones nsfw/hot content. People had many reasons for not wanting their content spread outside of their following and it reguarly caused a shitstorm if someone did.

                    I will have to unlearn that habit of never hitting the boost button for kinky things.

                    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                    wrote last edited by
                    #30

                    @kinkypond Ooh, interesting.

                    I had not considered that angle.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                      Hmm... I wonder (I told you that I was pondering!) if there is an added factor here, of the fedi demographic: of older people, perhaps especially men (don't laugh), being self-aware of engaging with younger adults posting sex-related stuff, and coming across as creepy. Perhaps?

                      alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                      alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                      alexisbushnell@toot.wales
                      wrote last edited by
                      #31

                      @neil speaking only for myself, someone who used to write a sex blog, is a community organiser in the kink community, and not awkward about sex, the reason I don't boost is actually more not sure of where the line is for certain servers and not wanting to be blocked by whole servers or booted off one for boosting something they see as not ok.

                      So I guess my issue is Autistic lack of understanding of why other people are weird about sex stuff.

                      neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                        I suspect that it comes down to a mix of:

                        * stigma about sex as pleasure / being embarrassed about what others here might think

                        * concerns relating to professional expectations and obligations

                        * sex as being in the sphere of one's private life

                        I can understand each of these, and why they might lead to a "like" rather than a "boost".

                        None of them inhibit paying or tipping someone, as a thank you for their work though, which is another way of being supportive.

                        pwaring@social.xk7.netP This user is from outside of this forum
                        pwaring@social.xk7.netP This user is from outside of this forum
                        pwaring@social.xk7.net
                        wrote last edited by
                        #32

                        @neil

                        > concerns relating to professional expectations and obligations

                        That is absolutely something I have in mind when boosting anything, especially as the FCA look at social media (though I don't know if they monitor Mastodon specifically). I don't boost anything involving over 18 content, which includes swearing, sex work etc.

                        It is annoying because the content is legal, but I do not have a sufficiently large platform to take a stand on this.

                        neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • alexisbushnell@toot.walesA alexisbushnell@toot.wales

                          @neil speaking only for myself, someone who used to write a sex blog, is a community organiser in the kink community, and not awkward about sex, the reason I don't boost is actually more not sure of where the line is for certain servers and not wanting to be blocked by whole servers or booted off one for boosting something they see as not ok.

                          So I guess my issue is Autistic lack of understanding of why other people are weird about sex stuff.

                          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                          neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                          wrote last edited by
                          #33

                          @alexisbushnell

                          > not wanting to be blocked by whole servers or booted off one for boosting something they see as not ok.

                          Yes, I can see the challenge there.

                          alexisbushnell@toot.walesA joykill@mastodon.socialJ 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • pwaring@social.xk7.netP pwaring@social.xk7.net

                            @neil

                            > concerns relating to professional expectations and obligations

                            That is absolutely something I have in mind when boosting anything, especially as the FCA look at social media (though I don't know if they monitor Mastodon specifically). I don't boost anything involving over 18 content, which includes swearing, sex work etc.

                            It is annoying because the content is legal, but I do not have a sufficiently large platform to take a stand on this.

                            neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                            neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                            neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                            wrote last edited by
                            #34

                            @pwaring

                            I too am mindful about profanity in toots that I boost, which can sometimes be a challenge here!

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                              @alexisbushnell

                              > not wanting to be blocked by whole servers or booted off one for boosting something they see as not ok.

                              Yes, I can see the challenge there.

                              alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                              alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                              alexisbushnell@toot.wales
                              wrote last edited by
                              #35

                              @neil personally I would like to see the Fediverse figure out how to support sex workers and adult content so it's not an issue, but that is something I am not qualified to help figure out!

                              Maybe someone will discuss it at @fediforum .

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                @alexisbushnell

                                > not wanting to be blocked by whole servers or booted off one for boosting something they see as not ok.

                                Yes, I can see the challenge there.

                                joykill@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                joykill@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                joykill@mastodon.social
                                wrote last edited by
                                #36

                                @neil @alexisbushnell

                                idk if being blocked by a server is such a big deal tbh. I would personally prefer to freely engage with the people I'm interested in, rather than hold off for fear that some unknown corner of the internet admined by puritans might not get to see my posts.

                                alexisbushnell@toot.walesA crazy_pony@rubber.socialC 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                  Hmm... I wonder (I told you that I was pondering!) if there is an added factor here, of the fedi demographic: of older people, perhaps especially men (don't laugh), being self-aware of engaging with younger adults posting sex-related stuff, and coming across as creepy. Perhaps?

                                  ysegrim@furry.engineerY This user is from outside of this forum
                                  ysegrim@furry.engineerY This user is from outside of this forum
                                  ysegrim@furry.engineer
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #37

                                  @neil This is my reason for not engaging, including compliments. (Likes as a "formalized" interaction should be safe.)

                                  re boosting – I'm trying to keep my followers' TLs "SFW or CW". That is, I try not to boost anything sexual that doesn't come with a CW (and an image description of course).

                                  neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • ysegrim@furry.engineerY ysegrim@furry.engineer

                                    @neil This is my reason for not engaging, including compliments. (Likes as a "formalized" interaction should be safe.)

                                    re boosting – I'm trying to keep my followers' TLs "SFW or CW". That is, I try not to boost anything sexual that doesn't come with a CW (and an image description of course).

                                    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                    neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #38

                                    @ysegrim

                                    > I try not to boost anything sexual that doesn't come with a CW

                                    Most of the people who I follow who post sexual stuff are fastidious about CWs, as consent is important to them!

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.ukN neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk

                                      If you have got this far, perhaps you would welcome some suggestions for fedizens who I follow, who post sex-related stuff.

                                      @girlonthenet: the queen of text and audio smut, with multiple books under her belt too.

                                      @mindpersephone: short form text, often sci-fi and genderqueer.

                                      @JenJen: beautiful hand drawn smut, interspersed with rants about Linux.

                                      @alice: more lockpicking than smut, but smut is there, and especially #AltAfterDark.

                                      Newer to me:

                                      @Jaimieserotica: a relatively new blogger, with a mix of fiction and non-fiction (I think!)

                                      @GoingDownWithSundial: another relatively new smut blogger, also touching on neurodiversity

                                      (And, look, I apologise in advance for the people who I will inevitably omit by accident; it is not personal, I am simply fallible. I have not included people who post nudes because that doesn't necessarily mean "sexual".

                                      By all means add your own suggestions / your own blog / self-promotion.)

                                      goingdownwithsundial@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                                      goingdownwithsundial@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                                      goingdownwithsundial@mastodon.social
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #39

                                      @neil
                                      @girlonthenet @mindpersephone @JenJen @alice @Jaimieserotica

                                      @innocentlb long-time blogger, gentle, introspective smut

                                      innocentlb@mastodon.socialI 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • joykill@mastodon.socialJ joykill@mastodon.social

                                        @neil @alexisbushnell

                                        idk if being blocked by a server is such a big deal tbh. I would personally prefer to freely engage with the people I'm interested in, rather than hold off for fear that some unknown corner of the internet admined by puritans might not get to see my posts.

                                        alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        alexisbushnell@toot.walesA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        alexisbushnell@toot.wales
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #40

                                        @joykill @neil if it was only puritans then sure but sex and "adult content" seems to be something a lot of servers avoid, possibly now moreso due to the new UK rules.
                                        It's not inherently a "we think sex is wrong" attitude but often a "we are scared we will be prosecuted" fear.

                                        joykill@mastodon.socialJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • alexisbushnell@toot.walesA alexisbushnell@toot.wales

                                          @joykill @neil if it was only puritans then sure but sex and "adult content" seems to be something a lot of servers avoid, possibly now moreso due to the new UK rules.
                                          It's not inherently a "we think sex is wrong" attitude but often a "we are scared we will be prosecuted" fear.

                                          joykill@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          joykill@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          joykill@mastodon.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #41

                                          @alexisbushnell
                                          Hosting social media while British, a prosecutable offense...

                                          That's truly sad and I can see why someone who hosts a server would think about those considerations, but as a user I don't think posting adult content is prosecutable in the UK yet, is it? Provided the adult content is consensual, not stolen, etc.

                                          Maybe having an alt account in a non-British server for the adult stuff could be an option, while keeping the local community posts in the British servers?

                                          @neil

                                          alexisbushnell@toot.walesA 1 Reply Last reply
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