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  3. I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.

I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.

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  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

    I hope last night John Roberts was visited by the ghosts of Thurgood Marshall, William F. Brennan, and Louis Brandeis, and they all told him that unlike Scrooge there was no hope of salvation for him as Antonin Scalia, wrapped in chains and half-buried in burning feces, nodded sad confirmation.

    freequaybuoy@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
    freequaybuoy@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
    freequaybuoy@mastodon.social
    wrote on last edited by
    #72

    @msbellows And then the ghosts of muppets Statler and Waldorf pop up to laugh at him mercilessly.

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    • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

      I hope last night John Roberts was visited by the ghosts of Thurgood Marshall, William F. Brennan, and Louis Brandeis, and they all told him that unlike Scrooge there was no hope of salvation for him as Antonin Scalia, wrapped in chains and half-buried in burning feces, nodded sad confirmation.

      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
      msbellows@c.im
      wrote on last edited by
      #73

      I hope John Roberts lost track of the days over the weekend and fell asleep last night thinking it was still Saturday and slept in this morning and was relaxing in his easy chair with a cup of coffee when the phone rang with a frantic clerk wondering where the hell he was.

      msbellows@c.imM flashmobofone@mstdn.socialF 2 Replies Last reply
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      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

        I hope John Roberts wakes in the middle of the night tonight with the realization that, because of him, the British Royal Family has more accountability than the President of the United States, and before he can even haul himself out of bed pukes on his duvet in spontaneous, visceral repulsion at his own execrable betrayal of the American principles he pretends to live by.

        the5thcolumnist@mstdn.caT This user is from outside of this forum
        the5thcolumnist@mstdn.caT This user is from outside of this forum
        the5thcolumnist@mstdn.ca
        wrote on last edited by
        #74

        @msbellows

        The United Kingdom is a constitutional monarchy and a parliamentary democracy.

        The United States currently is not constitutional or democratic in any way.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

          I hope John Roberts lost track of the days over the weekend and fell asleep last night thinking it was still Saturday and slept in this morning and was relaxing in his easy chair with a cup of coffee when the phone rang with a frantic clerk wondering where the hell he was.

          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
          msbellows@c.im
          wrote on last edited by
          #75

          I hope John Roberts' mail carrier intentionally fails to deliver his mail today.

          Supreme Court rules USPS cannot be sued for undelivered mail in 5-4 decision | Fox News https://www.foxnews.com/us/postal-service-cant-sued-intentionally-not-delivering-mail-supreme-court-rules-5-4-split

          955_36@sfba.social9 karlauerbach@sfba.socialK msbellows@c.imM 3 Replies Last reply
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          • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

            I hope John Roberts' mail carrier intentionally fails to deliver his mail today.

            Supreme Court rules USPS cannot be sued for undelivered mail in 5-4 decision | Fox News https://www.foxnews.com/us/postal-service-cant-sued-intentionally-not-delivering-mail-supreme-court-rules-5-4-split

            955_36@sfba.social9 This user is from outside of this forum
            955_36@sfba.social9 This user is from outside of this forum
            955_36@sfba.social
            wrote on last edited by
            #76

            @msbellows Neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night, but we draw the line at delivering the mail to black folks.

            grammasaurus@mastodon.socialG 1 Reply Last reply
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            • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

              I hope John Roberts' mail carrier intentionally fails to deliver his mail today.

              Supreme Court rules USPS cannot be sued for undelivered mail in 5-4 decision | Fox News https://www.foxnews.com/us/postal-service-cant-sued-intentionally-not-delivering-mail-supreme-court-rules-5-4-split

              karlauerbach@sfba.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
              karlauerbach@sfba.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
              karlauerbach@sfba.social
              wrote on last edited by
              #77

              @msbellows Wouldn't it be cool if come April the Post Office refuses to deliver tax returns (and tax payment checks) to the IRS?

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • 955_36@sfba.social9 955_36@sfba.social

                @msbellows Neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night, but we draw the line at delivering the mail to black folks.

                grammasaurus@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                grammasaurus@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                grammasaurus@mastodon.social
                wrote on last edited by
                #78

                @955_36 @msbellows The postal service rule is aimed at vote by mail. THe PO now sends your mail to a sorting facility so your mail-in ballot doesn’t get postmarked right away, and with the current admin trying to curtail when ballots can be received or counted, the date of a postmark becomes critical.

                Imagine that someone sets the sorting machine to set aside all the envelopes that are obviously ballots, and they are postmarked too late to be received or counted….

                #votersuppression

                955_36@sfba.social9 1 Reply Last reply
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                • grammasaurus@mastodon.socialG grammasaurus@mastodon.social

                  @955_36 @msbellows The postal service rule is aimed at vote by mail. THe PO now sends your mail to a sorting facility so your mail-in ballot doesn’t get postmarked right away, and with the current admin trying to curtail when ballots can be received or counted, the date of a postmark becomes critical.

                  Imagine that someone sets the sorting machine to set aside all the envelopes that are obviously ballots, and they are postmarked too late to be received or counted….

                  #votersuppression

                  955_36@sfba.social9 This user is from outside of this forum
                  955_36@sfba.social9 This user is from outside of this forum
                  955_36@sfba.social
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #79

                  @grammasaurus @msbellows That's why I take mine directly to the registrar's office.

                  grammasaurus@mastodon.socialG 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • 955_36@sfba.social9 955_36@sfba.social

                    @grammasaurus @msbellows That's why I take mine directly to the registrar's office.

                    grammasaurus@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                    grammasaurus@mastodon.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                    grammasaurus@mastodon.social
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #80

                    @955_36 @msbellows which kind of defeats the whole purpose of mail-in ballots, doesn’t it?

                    But that’s the point.

                    955_36@sfba.social9 msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
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                    • grammasaurus@mastodon.socialG grammasaurus@mastodon.social

                      @955_36 @msbellows which kind of defeats the whole purpose of mail-in ballots, doesn’t it?

                      But that’s the point.

                      955_36@sfba.social9 This user is from outside of this forum
                      955_36@sfba.social9 This user is from outside of this forum
                      955_36@sfba.social
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #81

                      @grammasaurus @msbellows It's still faster than voting in person.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • grammasaurus@mastodon.socialG grammasaurus@mastodon.social

                        @955_36 @msbellows which kind of defeats the whole purpose of mail-in ballots, doesn’t it?

                        But that’s the point.

                        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                        msbellows@c.im
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #82

                        @grammasaurus @955_36 Here in Oregon, they mail our ballots to us at home, which allows us to research and really think about our choices and fill them out at our leisure, and then we can either mail them back or drop them in ballot drops that work exactly like the big mailboxes and our scattered everywhere throughout the state. Our closest is at the city hall 6 minutes away. It's still infinitely better than in-person voting because you don't have to wait in line or vote on a specific day, so they can't screw Democratic precincts by limiting ballots or voting machines or surrounding the polling place with ICE agents on that one day.

                        955_36@sfba.social9 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                          @grammasaurus @955_36 Here in Oregon, they mail our ballots to us at home, which allows us to research and really think about our choices and fill them out at our leisure, and then we can either mail them back or drop them in ballot drops that work exactly like the big mailboxes and our scattered everywhere throughout the state. Our closest is at the city hall 6 minutes away. It's still infinitely better than in-person voting because you don't have to wait in line or vote on a specific day, so they can't screw Democratic precincts by limiting ballots or voting machines or surrounding the polling place with ICE agents on that one day.

                          955_36@sfba.social9 This user is from outside of this forum
                          955_36@sfba.social9 This user is from outside of this forum
                          955_36@sfba.social
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #83

                          @msbellows @grammasaurus Pretty much how California does it. We can also sign up for ballot tracking, so you know when it was put in the mail from the county, and when they get it back whether you mail it or drop it off.

                          What I've advocated for is that your ballot should have a serial number you can tear off, and then after the polls close and ballots are counted you could go to a web site and how your specific ballot was tabulated. Republicans of course would be against any real proposal that would help eliminate election fraud.

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                          • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                            I hope John Roberts' mail carrier intentionally fails to deliver his mail today.

                            Supreme Court rules USPS cannot be sued for undelivered mail in 5-4 decision | Fox News https://www.foxnews.com/us/postal-service-cant-sued-intentionally-not-delivering-mail-supreme-court-rules-5-4-split

                            msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                            msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                            msbellows@c.im
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #84

                            I hope the five Supreme Court justices who didn't attend the State of the Union last night instead went out for bowling and cocktails and had a really nice time and in hindsight John Roberts feels like he made the wrong choice about how to spend his evening.

                            msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                              I hope the five Supreme Court justices who didn't attend the State of the Union last night instead went out for bowling and cocktails and had a really nice time and in hindsight John Roberts feels like he made the wrong choice about how to spend his evening.

                              msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                              msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                              msbellows@c.im
                              wrote last edited by
                              #85

                              I hope John Roberts wore his favorite old Led Zeppelin concert tee to bed last night like pajamas and this morning when he was taking it off it tore really badly right across Robert Plant's face.

                              mralancooper@hachyderm.ioM msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
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                              • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                I hope John Roberts wore his favorite old Led Zeppelin concert tee to bed last night like pajamas and this morning when he was taking it off it tore really badly right across Robert Plant's face.

                                mralancooper@hachyderm.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
                                mralancooper@hachyderm.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
                                mralancooper@hachyderm.io
                                wrote last edited by
                                #86

                                @msbellows I kinda imagine that Robert's fave concert tee would be for a white christian gospel boy group whose every song has anodyne lyrics praising tradwives and false piety. I just can't see him as a Zep fan. (although I like the "face Plant" play)

                                msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • mralancooper@hachyderm.ioM mralancooper@hachyderm.io

                                  @msbellows I kinda imagine that Robert's fave concert tee would be for a white christian gospel boy group whose every song has anodyne lyrics praising tradwives and false piety. I just can't see him as a Zep fan. (although I like the "face Plant" play)

                                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  msbellows@c.im
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #87

                                  @mralancooper I made an unintentional joke!

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                                  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                    I hope John Roberts wore his favorite old Led Zeppelin concert tee to bed last night like pajamas and this morning when he was taking it off it tore really badly right across Robert Plant's face.

                                    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    msbellows@c.im
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #88

                                    I hope John Roberts needs to call the Mexican embassy for some information about a travel visa for a future vacation and the automated system says for instructions in English press 2 and he presses 2 because he doesn't speak Spanish and then the voice continues in Spanish but with a British accent.

                                    (Reference: https://apnews.com/article/washington-dol-spanish-accent-ai-3a1b8438a5674c07242a8d48c057d5a3 )

                                    alexmdunne@mastodon.socialA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
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                                    • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                      I hope John Roberts needs to call the Mexican embassy for some information about a travel visa for a future vacation and the automated system says for instructions in English press 2 and he presses 2 because he doesn't speak Spanish and then the voice continues in Spanish but with a British accent.

                                      (Reference: https://apnews.com/article/washington-dol-spanish-accent-ai-3a1b8438a5674c07242a8d48c057d5a3 )

                                      alexmdunne@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alexmdunne@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alexmdunne@mastodon.social
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #89

                                      @msbellows

                                      Related question: Why don't all automated voice-response systems have a "Basil Fawlty mode"?

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                                      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                        I hope John Roberts needs to call the Mexican embassy for some information about a travel visa for a future vacation and the automated system says for instructions in English press 2 and he presses 2 because he doesn't speak Spanish and then the voice continues in Spanish but with a British accent.

                                        (Reference: https://apnews.com/article/washington-dol-spanish-accent-ai-3a1b8438a5674c07242a8d48c057d5a3 )

                                        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        msbellows@c.im
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #90

                                        I hope John Roberts goes out for Middle Eastern food tonight and his waiter secretly spits in his hummus.

                                        msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                          I hope John Roberts goes out for Middle Eastern food tonight and his waiter secretly spits in his hummus.

                                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          msbellows@c.im
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #91

                                          I hope John Roberts' knee hurts really badly for no obvious reason so he limps everywhere he walks today and he has no idea why but damn it *really* hurts.

                                          catawu@mastodon.socialC msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
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