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  3. The year is 1992

The year is 1992

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  • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

    The year is 1992.
    I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
    I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
    Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
    I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
    “Hello?”
    “Honey, it’s me.”
    “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
    “I need you to translate something for me.”
    “Right now?”
    “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
    “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
    “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

    The phone is put near the radio

    “Could you hear it honey?”
    “…Yes?”
    “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
    “…I’m sorry, what now?”
    “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

    I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

    “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
    “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

    I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

    sgsax@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
    sgsax@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
    sgsax@mastodon.social
    wrote last edited by
    #13

    @monkeyninja This is the most wholesome story I've heard all day.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

      The year is 1992.
      I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
      I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
      Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
      I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
      “Hello?”
      “Honey, it’s me.”
      “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
      “I need you to translate something for me.”
      “Right now?”
      “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
      “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
      “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

      The phone is put near the radio

      “Could you hear it honey?”
      “…Yes?”
      “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
      “…I’m sorry, what now?”
      “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

      I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

      “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
      “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

      I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

      llanero24@social.mollejuo.comL This user is from outside of this forum
      llanero24@social.mollejuo.comL This user is from outside of this forum
      llanero24@social.mollejuo.com
      wrote last edited by
      #14

      @monkeyninja In Spanish there's a whole sub-genre on how English songs "sounds" to a native -Spanish- speaker. For example, "We're not going to take it", if you say "huevos con aceite" sounds equal 🙃 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNoxyL0C4jI

      nuclearoatmeal@beige.partyN 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

        The year is 1992.
        I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
        I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
        Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
        I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
        “Hello?”
        “Honey, it’s me.”
        “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
        “I need you to translate something for me.”
        “Right now?”
        “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
        “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
        “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

        The phone is put near the radio

        “Could you hear it honey?”
        “…Yes?”
        “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
        “…I’m sorry, what now?”
        “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

        I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

        “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
        “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

        I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

        littlebobbytables@mstdn.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
        littlebobbytables@mstdn.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
        littlebobbytables@mstdn.social
        wrote last edited by
        #15

        @monkeyninja

        Every Thanksgiving I make stuffing waffles, and I GodBlessGravy.

        littlebobbytables@mstdn.socialL 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

          The year is 1992.
          I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
          I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
          Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
          I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
          “Hello?”
          “Honey, it’s me.”
          “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
          “I need you to translate something for me.”
          “Right now?”
          “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
          “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
          “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

          The phone is put near the radio

          “Could you hear it honey?”
          “…Yes?”
          “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
          “…I’m sorry, what now?”
          “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

          I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

          “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
          “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

          I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

          jessetmccann@mas.toJ This user is from outside of this forum
          jessetmccann@mas.toJ This user is from outside of this forum
          jessetmccann@mas.to
          wrote last edited by
          #16

          @monkeyninja fifteen minutes in waldenbooks 1992 please.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

            The year is 1992.
            I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
            I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
            Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
            I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
            “Hello?”
            “Honey, it’s me.”
            “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
            “I need you to translate something for me.”
            “Right now?”
            “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
            “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
            “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

            The phone is put near the radio

            “Could you hear it honey?”
            “…Yes?”
            “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
            “…I’m sorry, what now?”
            “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

            I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

            “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
            “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

            I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

            isol@mastodon.auI This user is from outside of this forum
            isol@mastodon.auI This user is from outside of this forum
            isol@mastodon.au
            wrote last edited by
            #17

            @monkeyninja

            What's the next line - "hallway beans"?
            Do they go with the gravy?

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

              The year is 1992.
              I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
              I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
              Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
              I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
              “Hello?”
              “Honey, it’s me.”
              “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
              “I need you to translate something for me.”
              “Right now?”
              “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
              “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
              “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

              The phone is put near the radio

              “Could you hear it honey?”
              “…Yes?”
              “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
              “…I’m sorry, what now?”
              “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

              I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

              “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
              “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

              I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

              wesdym@mastodon.socialW This user is from outside of this forum
              wesdym@mastodon.socialW This user is from outside of this forum
              wesdym@mastodon.social
              wrote last edited by
              #18

              @monkeyninja At the time that Grisham was really hot, so were some cheeky, oblique self-help books. (Much less direct than later pop-sci; they were 'fun'.) I had a vivid dream that Grisham put one out, and I wandered into a Waldenbooks where it had its own display. The publisher hired people who looked like lawyers to stand around it. The book was titled, "Take Time to Smell the Pepper Grinders". I wish to FSM I was making that up. It's not even clever. It doesn't even make any sense.

              monkeyninja@10base2.devM 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

                The year is 1992.
                I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
                I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
                Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
                I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
                “Hello?”
                “Honey, it’s me.”
                “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
                “I need you to translate something for me.”
                “Right now?”
                “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
                “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
                “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

                The phone is put near the radio

                “Could you hear it honey?”
                “…Yes?”
                “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
                “…I’m sorry, what now?”
                “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

                I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

                “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
                “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

                I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

                beckermatic@pleroma.arielbecker.comB This user is from outside of this forum
                beckermatic@pleroma.arielbecker.comB This user is from outside of this forum
                beckermatic@pleroma.arielbecker.com
                wrote last edited by
                #19
                @monkeyninja best mondegreen ever.
                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

                  The year is 1992.
                  I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
                  I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
                  Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
                  I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
                  “Hello?”
                  “Honey, it’s me.”
                  “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
                  “I need you to translate something for me.”
                  “Right now?”
                  “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
                  “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
                  “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

                  The phone is put near the radio

                  “Could you hear it honey?”
                  “…Yes?”
                  “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
                  “…I’m sorry, what now?”
                  “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

                  I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

                  “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
                  “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

                  I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

                  catmisgivings@stranger.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                  catmisgivings@stranger.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                  catmisgivings@stranger.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #20

                  @monkeyninja is anyone here in these replies NOT singing "God Bless Gravy" right now?

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • llanero24@social.mollejuo.comL llanero24@social.mollejuo.com

                    @monkeyninja In Spanish there's a whole sub-genre on how English songs "sounds" to a native -Spanish- speaker. For example, "We're not going to take it", if you say "huevos con aceite" sounds equal 🙃 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNoxyL0C4jI

                    nuclearoatmeal@beige.partyN This user is from outside of this forum
                    nuclearoatmeal@beige.partyN This user is from outside of this forum
                    nuclearoatmeal@beige.party
                    wrote last edited by
                    #21

                    @llanero24 @monkeyninja

                    Ken Leeeeeeeeeeee!

                    - YouTube

                    Auf YouTube findest du die angesagtesten Videos und Tracks. Außerdem kannst du eigene Inhalte hochladen und mit Freunden oder gleich der ganzen Welt teilen.

                    favicon

                    (www.youtube.com)

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • littlebobbytables@mstdn.socialL littlebobbytables@mstdn.social

                      @monkeyninja

                      Every Thanksgiving I make stuffing waffles, and I GodBlessGravy.

                      littlebobbytables@mstdn.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                      littlebobbytables@mstdn.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                      littlebobbytables@mstdn.social
                      wrote last edited by
                      #22

                      @monkeyninja

                      You all thought I was posing.

                      Stuffing.

                      Waffles.

                      Link Preview Image
                      monkeyninja@10base2.devM 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

                        The year is 1992.
                        I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
                        I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
                        Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
                        I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
                        “Hello?”
                        “Honey, it’s me.”
                        “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
                        “I need you to translate something for me.”
                        “Right now?”
                        “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
                        “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
                        “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

                        The phone is put near the radio

                        “Could you hear it honey?”
                        “…Yes?”
                        “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
                        “…I’m sorry, what now?”
                        “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

                        I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

                        “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
                        “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

                        I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

                        davidbcohen@twit.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                        davidbcohen@twit.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                        davidbcohen@twit.social
                        wrote last edited by
                        #23

                        @monkeyninja Are you Howard from the Big Bang Theory?

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

                          The year is 1992.
                          I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
                          I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
                          Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
                          I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
                          “Hello?”
                          “Honey, it’s me.”
                          “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
                          “I need you to translate something for me.”
                          “Right now?”
                          “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
                          “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
                          “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

                          The phone is put near the radio

                          “Could you hear it honey?”
                          “…Yes?”
                          “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
                          “…I’m sorry, what now?”
                          “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

                          I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

                          “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
                          “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

                          I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

                          rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
                          rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
                          rupert@mastodon.nz
                          wrote last edited by
                          #24

                          @monkeyninja My daughter was at one point heavily into Imagine Dragons. I asked her what the song was she kept playing that sounded, through two doors and a hallway, like "rubber dumpling, rubber rubber dumpling".
                          After some humming she worked out I was talking about the lyrics"welcome to a new age" from Radioactive. #EggCorn

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

                            The year is 1992.
                            I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
                            I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
                            Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
                            I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
                            “Hello?”
                            “Honey, it’s me.”
                            “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
                            “I need you to translate something for me.”
                            “Right now?”
                            “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
                            “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
                            “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

                            The phone is put near the radio

                            “Could you hear it honey?”
                            “…Yes?”
                            “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
                            “…I’m sorry, what now?”
                            “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

                            I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

                            “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
                            “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

                            I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

                            tidalflats@mastodon.coffeeT This user is from outside of this forum
                            tidalflats@mastodon.coffeeT This user is from outside of this forum
                            tidalflats@mastodon.coffee
                            wrote last edited by
                            #25

                            @monkeyninja
                            Happy enchilada
                            https://youtu.be/USTIcPMIn7I

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

                              The year is 1992.
                              I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
                              I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
                              Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
                              I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
                              “Hello?”
                              “Honey, it’s me.”
                              “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
                              “I need you to translate something for me.”
                              “Right now?”
                              “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
                              “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
                              “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

                              The phone is put near the radio

                              “Could you hear it honey?”
                              “…Yes?”
                              “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
                              “…I’m sorry, what now?”
                              “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

                              I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

                              “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
                              “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

                              I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

                              morri@norden.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                              morri@norden.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                              morri@norden.social
                              wrote last edited by
                              #26

                              @monkeyninja vamos a laplaya ohohohoh. a cheery tune about..... radioactive waste on the beach.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

                                The year is 1992.
                                I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
                                I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
                                Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
                                I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
                                “Hello?”
                                “Honey, it’s me.”
                                “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
                                “I need you to translate something for me.”
                                “Right now?”
                                “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
                                “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
                                “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

                                The phone is put near the radio

                                “Could you hear it honey?”
                                “…Yes?”
                                “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
                                “…I’m sorry, what now?”
                                “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

                                I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

                                “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
                                “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

                                I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

                                ldj@mastodon.greenL This user is from outside of this forum
                                ldj@mastodon.greenL This user is from outside of this forum
                                ldj@mastodon.green
                                wrote last edited by
                                #27

                                @monkeyninja This reminds me of when a friend insisted that Paul Young was singing “every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you” 😂 (a cover of the Hall & Oates song)

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                                • monkeyninja@10base2.devM monkeyninja@10base2.dev

                                  The year is 1992.
                                  I’m employed by Waldenbooks in the mall.
                                  I’m stocking the shelves with the copies of “The Pelican Brief” that have recently arrived.
                                  Dave with the beard (not to be confused with Dave without a beard who was also working that evening) yells across the store that my mother is on the phone.
                                  I’m 16 and this is still embarrassing to me.
                                  “Hello?”
                                  “Honey, it’s me.”
                                  “ Hi mom, what’s up?”
                                  “I need you to translate something for me.”
                                  “Right now?”
                                  “It can’t wait! I’ll forget again!”
                                  “Okay sure mom, what is it?”
                                  “There’s a song that keeps coming on the radio and I need to know what they’re saying, here quickly before it finishes!”

                                  The phone is put near the radio

                                  “Could you hear it honey?”
                                  “…Yes?”
                                  “Oh thank God! Are they really singing, ‘God Bless Gravy’ or am I losing it?”
                                  “…I’m sorry, what now?”
                                  “Gravy. God Bless Gravy. Is that what they’re saying?”

                                  I pinch the bridge of my nose as only an exasperated teenager is capable of doing before I answer.

                                  “The song is ‘Constant Craving’ mom…by K.D. Lang…did you really think they were saying ’God Bless Gravy’?”
                                  “Well that’s what I heard! Thanks honey, see you tonight!”

                                  I keep hoping that I will some day meet K.D. Lang so I can convey the story. My mother continues to be a fan and when she still cooked, sang that song any time she was making gravy.

                                  datn@xoxo.zoneD This user is from outside of this forum
                                  datn@xoxo.zoneD This user is from outside of this forum
                                  datn@xoxo.zone
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #28

                                  @monkeyninja extremely relatable. for the first half of my life I *only* received lyrics in this way.

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                                  • wesdym@mastodon.socialW wesdym@mastodon.social

                                    @monkeyninja At the time that Grisham was really hot, so were some cheeky, oblique self-help books. (Much less direct than later pop-sci; they were 'fun'.) I had a vivid dream that Grisham put one out, and I wandered into a Waldenbooks where it had its own display. The publisher hired people who looked like lawyers to stand around it. The book was titled, "Take Time to Smell the Pepper Grinders". I wish to FSM I was making that up. It's not even clever. It doesn't even make any sense.

                                    monkeyninja@10base2.devM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    monkeyninja@10base2.devM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    monkeyninja@10base2.dev
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #29

                                    @wesdym Maybe in your mind, pepper grinders are deeply untrustworthy and should be subjected to periodic assessment of their state. Taking time to smell the pepper grinders to offset the possibility of a Tellicherry Takeover

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                                    • littlebobbytables@mstdn.socialL littlebobbytables@mstdn.social

                                      @monkeyninja

                                      You all thought I was posing.

                                      Stuffing.

                                      Waffles.

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                                      monkeyninja@10base2.devM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      monkeyninja@10base2.devM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      monkeyninja@10base2.dev
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #30

                                      @Littlebobbytables Those are fancy looking waffles!

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