Some minor updates:
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RE: https://mementomori.social/@vsitante/115844977134125468
Some minor updates:
The intro I had written wasn't working out. Mainly because I was trying to make it fit in the "timeline" that 'how can Heaven love me' has, and wasn't working out because of what I had already published and had yet to publish.
Plus, it felt too much like I was asking readers to read my mind.
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RE: https://mementomori.social/@vsitante/115844977134125468
Some minor updates:
The intro I had written wasn't working out. Mainly because I was trying to make it fit in the "timeline" that 'how can Heaven love me' has, and wasn't working out because of what I had already published and had yet to publish.
Plus, it felt too much like I was asking readers to read my mind.
But I took some time to go back to playing House of Fata Morgana, and the OST for that game made me go ham again on another intro + a scene that follows it.
If I had to describe it, it's as if I just wrote a TV treatment of a specific character drama 90s show. Including what is now one of my favorite scenes and writing, in general. I really like the character flavoring.
Only worry I have is that it may be "distracting" from the actual plot, because it's more flavor for the world than actually about Max and Astemar--even though *Max* is in the scene AND we learn a bit about his back story. Some subtle hints as well, that aren't really hints later on, but are for the characters telling the story in the scene.
(...That sentence made no sense, sorry.)
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But I took some time to go back to playing House of Fata Morgana, and the OST for that game made me go ham again on another intro + a scene that follows it.
If I had to describe it, it's as if I just wrote a TV treatment of a specific character drama 90s show. Including what is now one of my favorite scenes and writing, in general. I really like the character flavoring.
Only worry I have is that it may be "distracting" from the actual plot, because it's more flavor for the world than actually about Max and Astemar--even though *Max* is in the scene AND we learn a bit about his back story. Some subtle hints as well, that aren't really hints later on, but are for the characters telling the story in the scene.
(...That sentence made no sense, sorry.)
idk, I really like how it turned out. Hopefully when I finish the actual thing and go through it after a break, I don't take it out. I'm sure someone would say "take it out, it's not relevant!" but like...
Some of my favorite things involve scenes that aren't "relevant" to the plot but they make the entire product LIVED-IN. Like peeking into a slice of real life through the irrealistic lens. How real life sometimes just has random scenes inserted while you go on your own journey.
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idk, I really like how it turned out. Hopefully when I finish the actual thing and go through it after a break, I don't take it out. I'm sure someone would say "take it out, it's not relevant!" but like...
Some of my favorite things involve scenes that aren't "relevant" to the plot but they make the entire product LIVED-IN. Like peeking into a slice of real life through the irrealistic lens. How real life sometimes just has random scenes inserted while you go on your own journey.
So hopefully I'll stand my own ground against myself lol.
I don't know about asking for beta readers though. I feel like it needs one at least, even if it's for an unranked jam, but I've never had much luck with beta readers, so. Eh.
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So hopefully I'll stand my own ground against myself lol.
I don't know about asking for beta readers though. I feel like it needs one at least, even if it's for an unranked jam, but I've never had much luck with beta readers, so. Eh.
@vsitante I would love to beta read what you have written. What genre do you write?
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@vsitante I would love to beta read what you have written. What genre do you write?
@victor001 Porn.
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