Not gonna lie, one of the most amazing revelations I'm getting out of a degree in counselling is that it's possible to fall out with someone and then patch things up.
-
Not gonna lie, one of the most amazing revelations I'm getting out of a degree in counselling is that it's possible to fall out with someone and then patch things up. But wait, it gets better: you can end up with a better relationship for it.
Love all of my fellow traumatised nerds, but that's something we really could do with learning? Or rather, unlearning— that sick feeling in your stomach when you see something that either they or you have written, and think to yourself "well, that's it. We have to hate each other forever now."
I'm starting to understand the viciousness of this circle— 1. relationships feel precarious 2. we become hypervigilant for any rupture 3. at the first sight of one we panic and throw the relationship away 4. our relationships are precarious. And with every loop we retraumatise ourselves.
(The other option is we ignore any sign of a rupture, pretend they didn't say something that they did, and it eats away at us until it blows up with a "well, two weeks ago you...")
"Can we talk about that?" feels terrifying at first, but the more often I use it, the more I've discovered that relationships don't have to feel brittle.
-
Not gonna lie, one of the most amazing revelations I'm getting out of a degree in counselling is that it's possible to fall out with someone and then patch things up. But wait, it gets better: you can end up with a better relationship for it.
Love all of my fellow traumatised nerds, but that's something we really could do with learning? Or rather, unlearning— that sick feeling in your stomach when you see something that either they or you have written, and think to yourself "well, that's it. We have to hate each other forever now."
I'm starting to understand the viciousness of this circle— 1. relationships feel precarious 2. we become hypervigilant for any rupture 3. at the first sight of one we panic and throw the relationship away 4. our relationships are precarious. And with every loop we retraumatise ourselves.
(The other option is we ignore any sign of a rupture, pretend they didn't say something that they did, and it eats away at us until it blows up with a "well, two weeks ago you...")
"Can we talk about that?" feels terrifying at first, but the more often I use it, the more I've discovered that relationships don't have to feel brittle.
@Tattie re-learning this the hard way right now. But progress is being made!
-
R relay@relay.infosec.exchange shared this topic
