What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
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Perpetuated by patriarchal and cisnormative myths and misconceptions, this shame and stigma affects girls and gender diverse children the most. Without the language to describe what’s happening to them, children grow up unable or ashamed to ask questions — to express curiosity or concern about their bodies. Naturally, this influences behaviour not just in childhood, but well into adulthood. And it affects all of us.
@vagina_museum I am a man, so my experience with this is through others. This post reminded me of an episode of Golden Girls where Blanche recalls her mother and aunts and other women in her life warning her of "the curse" that would come for her during puberty. Blanche becomes scared of "the curse" that has not taken her by age 16. She asks her mom who says "we need to take you to a doctor if you haven't had your first period yet". Blanche says "I'm not a baby, I've had that since I was 13."
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@vagina_museum I am a man, so my experience with this is through others. This post reminded me of an episode of Golden Girls where Blanche recalls her mother and aunts and other women in her life warning her of "the curse" that would come for her during puberty. Blanche becomes scared of "the curse" that has not taken her by age 16. She asks her mom who says "we need to take you to a doctor if you haven't had your first period yet". Blanche says "I'm not a baby, I've had that since I was 13."
@vagina_museum the episode:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0589742Euphemisms and lack of communication about this was played as a joke in the episode, but the character's trauma was very obvious.
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What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
Across the world menstruation continues to be shrouded in stigma, shame, and silence. Millions of children face their menarche without knowing what it is, why it’s happening, what it’s called, or what to do. Too often, the answers to these questions are only found through an individual’s own experience.
@vagina_museum I was basically baby (ok not really, I was 9) when I had my menarche. And absolutely no one prepared me for it. I grew up in a south Asian country. The whole concept of menstruation was a taboo subject; everything was very hush hush. I had to deal with the pain and shame all by myself, it was all very lonely.
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What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
Across the world menstruation continues to be shrouded in stigma, shame, and silence. Millions of children face their menarche without knowing what it is, why it’s happening, what it’s called, or what to do. Too often, the answers to these questions are only found through an individual’s own experience.
@vagina_museum This ^.
I was fortunate that I was not “shocked” when I started bleeding, but the “shame” & hiding was definitely a significant undertone. What I wished to have known is taking pain relief early on & also understanding that fibroids are an actual thing… I finally got treated (15 yrs of pain)& had to have surgery which removed a fibroid the size of a softball along with 5 smaller ones. EDUCATION ON THIS AND TALKING ABOUT IT IS PARAMOUNT. We definitely need to STOP SHAMING IT NOW.
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What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
Across the world menstruation continues to be shrouded in stigma, shame, and silence. Millions of children face their menarche without knowing what it is, why it’s happening, what it’s called, or what to do. Too often, the answers to these questions are only found through an individual’s own experience.
@vagina_museum That it's possible (for some folks) to opt out!
I figured out skipping the birth control sugar pills in my teens, had and nursed babies in my 20s, then an IUD and have generally avoided having to deal with them most of my life.
Not an option for everyone, but I'm shocked so many people put up with the pain and mess.
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What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
Across the world menstruation continues to be shrouded in stigma, shame, and silence. Millions of children face their menarche without knowing what it is, why it’s happening, what it’s called, or what to do. Too often, the answers to these questions are only found through an individual’s own experience.
@vagina_museum@masto.ai That the homework was due
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What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
Across the world menstruation continues to be shrouded in stigma, shame, and silence. Millions of children face their menarche without knowing what it is, why it’s happening, what it’s called, or what to do. Too often, the answers to these questions are only found through an individual’s own experience.
That trans/inter folx actually CAN get periods, albeit without menstrual blood
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@vagina_museum I was basically baby (ok not really, I was 9) when I had my menarche. And absolutely no one prepared me for it. I grew up in a south Asian country. The whole concept of menstruation was a taboo subject; everything was very hush hush. I had to deal with the pain and shame all by myself, it was all very lonely.
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@vagina_museum This ^.
I was fortunate that I was not “shocked” when I started bleeding, but the “shame” & hiding was definitely a significant undertone. What I wished to have known is taking pain relief early on & also understanding that fibroids are an actual thing… I finally got treated (15 yrs of pain)& had to have surgery which removed a fibroid the size of a softball along with 5 smaller ones. EDUCATION ON THIS AND TALKING ABOUT IT IS PARAMOUNT. We definitely need to STOP SHAMING IT NOW.@vagina_museum And for the record, I’ve begun my own campaign about talking about all of this
I wish I had someone like myself & other women in my life who talked about this when I was a teenager. So I’m doing it now regardless if people around me think it’s “impolite” because there’s a girl out there who will need to know this stuff! I’m not ashamed anymore if people give me “the look” when they think I’m being “impolite” I say it straight that this needs talking about, get over it 🩷 -
What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
Across the world menstruation continues to be shrouded in stigma, shame, and silence. Millions of children face their menarche without knowing what it is, why it’s happening, what it’s called, or what to do. Too often, the answers to these questions are only found through an individual’s own experience.
@vagina_museum I had 2 older sisters + our mom & at age 12 I knew nothing more than what I secretly read on the sanitary pad boxes in the bathroom. I had no idea what to expect in real life. That "belt". What sort of contraption was that?
My mother was awful. I know that's terrible to say, but when I did get the courage to ask, she told me tampons caused pregnancy. Then, while on a family vacation at 13, I started & was too embarrassed to tell anyone. Spent time washing underwear to hide it
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@vagina_museum That it's possible (for some folks) to opt out!
I figured out skipping the birth control sugar pills in my teens, had and nursed babies in my 20s, then an IUD and have generally avoided having to deal with them most of my life.
Not an option for everyone, but I'm shocked so many people put up with the pain and mess.
@maj @vagina_museum Don't take this as critique, ok? In my case, although now my periods are mild, I put up with it, because the hormonal options were absolutely detrimental to my mental health and I would choose excruciating pain for a day each month over going insane. (I'm talking close to drug abuse insane, I'm talking restraint jacket insane.) Obviously the hormones weren't the only cause of that, but once I stopped, my MH stopped deteriorating. I could breathe and heal.
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What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
Across the world menstruation continues to be shrouded in stigma, shame, and silence. Millions of children face their menarche without knowing what it is, why it’s happening, what it’s called, or what to do. Too often, the answers to these questions are only found through an individual’s own experience.
@vagina_museum my emotionally neglectful mother didn't warn me so my first period was extremely traumatic
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@maj @vagina_museum Don't take this as critique, ok? In my case, although now my periods are mild, I put up with it, because the hormonal options were absolutely detrimental to my mental health and I would choose excruciating pain for a day each month over going insane. (I'm talking close to drug abuse insane, I'm talking restraint jacket insane.) Obviously the hormones weren't the only cause of that, but once I stopped, my MH stopped deteriorating. I could breathe and heal.
@nele1999 @vagina_museum I know it's not an option for everyone! YMMV but I still think that there should be more awareness that it is possible for at least some of us.
For me, periods were always heavy, irregular, and very painful. I also had a reaction to medication when I was a young teen that had me bleeding for almost 3 months non stop. So the side effects are totally worth it in my case.
I don't think it's a critique to share your personal experience.
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What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
Across the world menstruation continues to be shrouded in stigma, shame, and silence. Millions of children face their menarche without knowing what it is, why it’s happening, what it’s called, or what to do. Too often, the answers to these questions are only found through an individual’s own experience.
If even my ignorant male ass knows about endometriosis, what the hell is everyone else's excuse?
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@vagina_museum This ^.
I was fortunate that I was not “shocked” when I started bleeding, but the “shame” & hiding was definitely a significant undertone. What I wished to have known is taking pain relief early on & also understanding that fibroids are an actual thing… I finally got treated (15 yrs of pain)& had to have surgery which removed a fibroid the size of a softball along with 5 smaller ones. EDUCATION ON THIS AND TALKING ABOUT IT IS PARAMOUNT. We definitely need to STOP SHAMING IT NOW.I don't think I'll ever understand how something that happens to almost every woman on a monthly basis could be considered shameful.
Are we next going to tell people to be ashamed of pooping?
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@nusher @vagina_museum Yep clicked through to the thread to say this!
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Menarche is a moment of change, of transformation. It shouldn’t be shamed or shrouded in secrecy. Talking about it can be scary, but it also opens a door to connection.
What do YOU wish you had known?
@vagina_museum *i* was well informed but my comrades were not and harrassed me when i had leaks. No one ever offered me help or sanitary products at school.
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I don't think I'll ever understand how something that happens to almost every woman on a monthly basis could be considered shameful.
Are we next going to tell people to be ashamed of pooping?
@argv_minus_one Already happening. For women at least. It's stupid, but there are people who think it is not ok for women to talk about pooping, having to poop or fart for that matter.
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What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
Across the world menstruation continues to be shrouded in stigma, shame, and silence. Millions of children face their menarche without knowing what it is, why it’s happening, what it’s called, or what to do. Too often, the answers to these questions are only found through an individual’s own experience.
@vagina_museum That you don’t have to keep the fact you’re having one top secret - smuggling pads into the loo hidden in tissue boxes and similar nonsense! The best thing about covid was the hot water bottle in the lap for cramps. Had been settling for paracetamol in-office.
I get active pleasure from stubborn non-secrecy these days. “Oh are you cold?” - “Nope I have period pain”. Stunned Silence. But why though? If I had said I had a heat pad for back pain would have been unremarkable.
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What do you wish you had known before you had your first period?
Across the world menstruation continues to be shrouded in stigma, shame, and silence. Millions of children face their menarche without knowing what it is, why it’s happening, what it’s called, or what to do. Too often, the answers to these questions are only found through an individual’s own experience.
@vagina_museum
Before my first period, I wish I would have known that throughout my adult life, in which I never wavered in my choice to not bear children, that my uterus would be a source of debilitating pain, and that a patriarchal medical system would prolong my suffering by denying my hysterectomy until I was perimenopausal due to "risk of regret," and that I should have lawyered-up and been a raging self-advocate from the get-go.
