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  3. Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing.

Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing.

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  • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

    Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

    This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

    suetanvil@freeradical.zoneS This user is from outside of this forum
    suetanvil@freeradical.zoneS This user is from outside of this forum
    suetanvil@freeradical.zone
    wrote last edited by
    #50

    @sundogplanets

    One of the few things from Dune Messiah that stuck with me before I gave up on it was the Bene Tleilaxu notion of warning your enemy of the trap you have set for them as an honourable thing to do.

    I've found myself falling into a similar pattern in Internet fight.

    All of which is to say, you could reframe your practice as being the honourable thing.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • hadon@mastodon.socialH hadon@mastodon.social

      @sundogplanets

      Why not just ignore them? If you block them they won't have a chance to learn anything anymore.

      You explain once and if they don't like it or accept it then just ignore them. You don't need to explain twice.

      drdrowland@fediscience.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
      drdrowland@fediscience.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
      drdrowland@fediscience.org
      wrote last edited by
      #51

      @hadon @sundogplanets

      blocking them removes them from the network centered on the op's posts and reduces their visability. it's remote ostracization and i think it's warranted. they can make a new account or find another account posting awesome things.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

        Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

        This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

        madonius@chaos.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
        madonius@chaos.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
        madonius@chaos.social
        wrote last edited by
        #52

        @sundogplanets For those not familiar with the term "sea lions" what does that mean in this context? 😅

        meyerweb@mastodon.socialM aprilfollies@mastodon.onlineA sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS 3 Replies Last reply
        0
        • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

          Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

          This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

          tbortels@infosec.exchangeT This user is from outside of this forum
          tbortels@infosec.exchangeT This user is from outside of this forum
          tbortels@infosec.exchange
          wrote last edited by
          #53

          @sundogplanets

          Block early, block often. This is the way.

          If you feel the need to explain, send the wondermark sea lion comic, or a link. Then block. It might educate, but it won't make anyone happy.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • hadon@mastodon.socialH hadon@mastodon.social

            @jguillaumes @sundogplanets @cstross

            I was wondering the same. Specially that in the internet many times there are misunderstandings. We read sentences without having other cues (tone of voice, face expressions), so we can misunderstand a sentence. Specially that we are all from different backgrounds (different native languages, etc).

            Sometimes I read a sentence, reply, and 20 minutes later I realize I misunderstood 😄 (and come back to correct or apologize, whatever is needed ).

            drangnon@hachyderm.ioD This user is from outside of this forum
            drangnon@hachyderm.ioD This user is from outside of this forum
            drangnon@hachyderm.io
            wrote last edited by
            #54

            @hadon @jguillaumes @sundogplanets @cstross a big giveaway is they get defensive and/or double-down at any reply that isn't full agreement and some that actually are.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • madonius@chaos.socialM madonius@chaos.social

              @sundogplanets For those not familiar with the term "sea lions" what does that mean in this context? 😅

              meyerweb@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
              meyerweb@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
              meyerweb@mastodon.social
              wrote last edited by
              #55

              @madonius I bet entering “replies sea lion” in your search engine of choice will be explanatory.

              shadesofraye@mastodon.socialS pedroleal_@mastodon.socialP 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • madonius@chaos.socialM madonius@chaos.social

                @sundogplanets For those not familiar with the term "sea lions" what does that mean in this context? 😅

                aprilfollies@mastodon.onlineA This user is from outside of this forum
                aprilfollies@mastodon.onlineA This user is from outside of this forum
                aprilfollies@mastodon.online
                wrote last edited by
                #56

                @madonius

                Jeffrey Haas (@jhaas@a2mi.social)

                @bur_d@mastodon.social @sundogplanets@mastodon.social https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning

                favicon

                Ann Arbor, Ypsilanti & Friends Community (a2mi.social)

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                  Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                  This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                  mpotter@social.coopM This user is from outside of this forum
                  mpotter@social.coopM This user is from outside of this forum
                  mpotter@social.coop
                  wrote last edited by
                  #57

                  @sundogplanets I've blocked and unfollowed more accounts here on Mastadon than I ever did on Twitter. It's opposite of what I expected.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • meyerweb@mastodon.socialM meyerweb@mastodon.social

                    @madonius I bet entering “replies sea lion” in your search engine of choice will be explanatory.

                    shadesofraye@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                    shadesofraye@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                    shadesofraye@mastodon.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #58

                    @Meyerweb
                    God forbid people discuss things on SOCIAL media.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                      Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                      This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                      paelnever@masto.esP This user is from outside of this forum
                      paelnever@masto.esP This user is from outside of this forum
                      paelnever@masto.es
                      wrote last edited by
                      #59

                      @sundogplanets

                      I'm sorry to say that "not apologizing" is a default behavior for all people nowadays, not only mansplainers.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • moelassus@mastodon.socialM moelassus@mastodon.social

                        @jrp I suspect your right. It’s also possible that I’m just really bad at snark. 🤔

                        jrp@hub.kliklak.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        jrp@hub.kliklak.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        jrp@hub.kliklak.net
                        wrote last edited by
                        #60
                        @Moe Lassus Eventually there's three possible kinds: irony, sarcasm and cynicism. Good to stay with irony 🙂
                        moelassus@mastodon.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • jrp@hub.kliklak.netJ jrp@hub.kliklak.net
                          @Moe Lassus Eventually there's three possible kinds: irony, sarcasm and cynicism. Good to stay with irony 🙂
                          moelassus@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                          moelassus@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                          moelassus@mastodon.social
                          wrote last edited by
                          #61

                          @jrp I was aiming at the irony of the situation but I apparently missed the mark. They clearly interpreted my comment as being favorable toward what they were being critical of.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • madonius@chaos.socialM madonius@chaos.social

                            @sundogplanets For those not familiar with the term "sea lions" what does that mean in this context? 😅

                            sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sundogplanets@mastodon.social
                            wrote last edited by
                            #62

                            @madonius https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • jik@federate.socialJ jik@federate.social

                              @sundogplanets I try really hard to call out bad behavior in _other_ people's threads because it lands really differently when it comes from someone other than the target, and I think it's important to be an upstander.

                              sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                              sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                              sundogplanets@mastodon.social
                              wrote last edited by
                              #63

                              @jik This is incredibly important service work, thank you!

                              Also, let me just take this opportunity to say that I learn so much about so many different topics from your posts, so thank you for that as well!

                              jik@federate.socialJ 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                @Kierkegaanks Shitpost jokes welcome! Entitled mansplaining, not so much 🙂

                                david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                                david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                                david@fouroclockfarms.club
                                wrote last edited by
                                #64

                                @sundogplanets @Kierkegaanks

                                I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A CIVIL CONVERSATION ABOUT
                                YOUR STATEMENT.

                                kierkegaanks@beige.partyK 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • david@fouroclockfarms.clubD david@fouroclockfarms.club

                                  @sundogplanets @Kierkegaanks

                                  I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A CIVIL CONVERSATION ABOUT
                                  YOUR STATEMENT.

                                  kierkegaanks@beige.partyK This user is from outside of this forum
                                  kierkegaanks@beige.partyK This user is from outside of this forum
                                  kierkegaanks@beige.party
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #65

                                  @david @sundogplanets CAN YOU PLEASE KWALIFY THAT WITH CITATIONS?

                                  david@fouroclockfarms.clubD 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                    Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                                    This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                                    fartnuggets@jorts.horseF This user is from outside of this forum
                                    fartnuggets@jorts.horseF This user is from outside of this forum
                                    fartnuggets@jorts.horse
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #66

                                    @sundogplanets having visibility into this kind of correction helps guys like me figure out how to better exist in this place. Even if the mansplainers and sea lions don't get it, I learn from it when you take the time and effort to address it.

                                    Really appreciate it. 💜

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • meyerweb@mastodon.socialM meyerweb@mastodon.social

                                      @madonius I bet entering “replies sea lion” in your search engine of choice will be explanatory.

                                      pedroleal_@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                      pedroleal_@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                      pedroleal_@mastodon.social
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #67

                                      @Meyerweb @madonius the best I got was " a type of trolling or harassment that consists of pursuing people with relentless requests for evidence"... is this it?

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • kierkegaanks@beige.partyK kierkegaanks@beige.party

                                        @david @sundogplanets CAN YOU PLEASE KWALIFY THAT WITH CITATIONS?

                                        david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                                        david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                                        david@fouroclockfarms.club
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #68

                                        @Kierkegaanks @sundogplanets

                                        HOW DO YOU KNOW THOSE STUDIES ARENT BOASED?

                                        kierkegaanks@beige.partyK 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                          Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                                          This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                                          sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          sundogplanets@mastodon.social
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #69

                                          An educational add-on, because a lot of people are asking about it (which is hilariously meta, I suppose, but here we are)

                                          Sealioning (the Wikipedia article is quite good): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning

                                          Mansplaining: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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