TRANS PEOPLE
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TRANS PEOPLE
Totally unscientific survey of transition demographics on the fediverse, for transgender, non-binary, and gender diverse people.
What year did you either come out, begin transition, and/or have your egg crack?
@mallory_sinn
Could have figured it out way earlier¹ if I had known about trans and enby people but I only really understood trans-identity in August 2021… and promptly² understood that I couldn't deny it anymore.
First CO on TDoR³ 2021 to the only trans girl I knew as such offline.
Changed GP in August 2022 to one known to be trans friendly (she even had stopped taking new cis patients) and told her I wanted HRT right from the start.
But because I was still so unsure (what if I was faking it to have a reason to say I'm queer⁴? What if taking HRT doesn't help⁵? etc.), I only actually started in November 2022. And had to stop two days later 🫠 Resumed 3 weeks later and haven't stopped since (switched from gel to injections in January 2026)1: I think I started wanted to be reborn as a girl in 2004 or 2005, although I thought I would be as bad at being a girl as at being a boy
I don't have much memories from before ~2003 so can't talk to my relation to gender prior to that.
2: it "only" took a bit under 2 weeks and going through the GDB (thanks, Jocelyn! (Twipped)) with a highlighter
Funny enough, I only realised *afterward* that I had been putting myself to sleep for a few months by picturing waking up the next day as a woman and what I'd do 🤭 then I started remembering the previous times I had wanted to be a girl :') (there were no signs!)
3: either worst or best day to do that.
4: my dad is gay (and, I suspect, a transfem in deep denial) and my mom is bi, so I thought I only wanted to belong amongst queer people.
5: it did… applied the first dose of gel in the evening, was already feeling better the next day 🤭 -
@mallory_sinn This poll makes me wonder what you think the age demographics of the #Fediverse look like.
@gcvsa from the polls many others have done, 30s - 50s are the majority of us I’m pretty sure, with some folks in their 20s and of course great friends who are also in 60s and above.
But this is kind of regardless, since I’m trying to get a sense of, for example, how many people are part of the COVID cohort and that stretches across all ages.
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I knew when I was a kid but I only began actually transitioning recently
@burnoutqueen go with once you began transitioning then. The idea is to capture what transition cohort people are a part of
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@mallory_sinn @Melezioh *fucking dies of old age*
as a 2010–2015-er, the trans writers & artists who were most formative to me came out in, like, the 70s and 80s?
I feel like the 2010s were really kind of a turning point though. e. g. trans lit getting mainstream attention
@nev @Melezioh hehe, sorry to make folks feel old. And yeah, I of course enjoy a lot of the folks from then too (Leslie Feinberg, Kate Bornstein, Julia Serano, Susan Stryker, etc), but I was talking mainly about folks like Casey Plett, Torrey Peters, and Laura Jane Grace, who were so pivotal to me. Exactly that Trans Lit cohort you mentioned. That, and key people on a trans twitter and in person like Caitlin Spice, Mags, and others.
There were some really big changes in trans subcultures and communities that I think a lot of people transitioning post-2020 are completely unaware of. Like…no one was around for the discourse of Detransition, Baby and letting the cis know about trans sexuality, or the Baeddels or any of that kind of stuff.
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@mallory_sinn I picked 2016-2019 because that's when all three was true. I'd been out "full time" for six months at that point.
I also feel it's worth pointing out nearly every person I know who "hatched" recently has later told me they started to remember even earlier signs they were trans. Who woulda thunk that the human brain famous for blocking access to traumatic memories would block out the number of times their parents said shit like "I'ma beat your ass if you keep doing this queer shit" about expressing potentially being trans.
@disorderlyf that’s why I’m trying to focus on those more specific moments, because we almost always go through a process of reconstructing our personal narratives reintegrating or reframing things with our new insight. Because we mostly don’t really “become trans” when we transition, per se, but have been going through dysphoria or disconnects most of our lives. Cause it really is a thing.
Also, yay tor another 2016 - 2019 person! I’m realizing there are a lot more of us around here than I thought and I need to become closer friends with all you wonderful people
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@mallory_sinn See, my egg cracked long before I got HRT. If we're going by egg cracking, I've known I was trans for a decade longer. I don't think people realise just how much of us knew when we were children but had to bury that shit deep and suffer in ways that scar us for the rest of our lives until the second the clock strikes midnight on our 18th birthday.
I figured out I was trans in 2009. I got on HRT in 2017. I'm not even sure if I had accepting parents at the time if I could've started in 2009. I sure as fuck couldn't now.
@disorderlyf I imagine those must have been some really fucking rough years to know it and not be able to transition
And I feel you on that. If I had figured it out as a teenager, I don’t think it would have even been an option to transition in the early and mid 00s where I was.
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@mallory_sinn
Could have figured it out way earlier¹ if I had known about trans and enby people but I only really understood trans-identity in August 2021… and promptly² understood that I couldn't deny it anymore.
First CO on TDoR³ 2021 to the only trans girl I knew as such offline.
Changed GP in August 2022 to one known to be trans friendly (she even had stopped taking new cis patients) and told her I wanted HRT right from the start.
But because I was still so unsure (what if I was faking it to have a reason to say I'm queer⁴? What if taking HRT doesn't help⁵? etc.), I only actually started in November 2022. And had to stop two days later 🫠 Resumed 3 weeks later and haven't stopped since (switched from gel to injections in January 2026)1: I think I started wanted to be reborn as a girl in 2004 or 2005, although I thought I would be as bad at being a girl as at being a boy
I don't have much memories from before ~2003 so can't talk to my relation to gender prior to that.
2: it "only" took a bit under 2 weeks and going through the GDB (thanks, Jocelyn! (Twipped)) with a highlighter Funny enough, I only realised *afterward* that I had been putting myself to sleep for a few months by picturing waking up the next day as a woman and what I'd do 🤭 then I started remembering the previous times I had wanted to be a girl :') (there were no signs!)
3: either worst or best day to do that.
4: my dad is gay (and, I suspect, a transfem in deep denial) and my mom is bi, so I thought I only wanted to belong amongst queer people.
5: it did… applied the first dose of gel in the evening, was already feeling better the next day 🤭> Funny enough, I only realised *afterward* that I had been putting myself to sleep for a few months by picturing waking up the next day as a woman and what I'd do
I used to fall asleep fantasizing about how my life would have been if I'd been born a girl
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@mallory_sinn
Could have figured it out way earlier¹ if I had known about trans and enby people but I only really understood trans-identity in August 2021… and promptly² understood that I couldn't deny it anymore.
First CO on TDoR³ 2021 to the only trans girl I knew as such offline.
Changed GP in August 2022 to one known to be trans friendly (she even had stopped taking new cis patients) and told her I wanted HRT right from the start.
But because I was still so unsure (what if I was faking it to have a reason to say I'm queer⁴? What if taking HRT doesn't help⁵? etc.), I only actually started in November 2022. And had to stop two days later 🫠 Resumed 3 weeks later and haven't stopped since (switched from gel to injections in January 2026)1: I think I started wanted to be reborn as a girl in 2004 or 2005, although I thought I would be as bad at being a girl as at being a boy
I don't have much memories from before ~2003 so can't talk to my relation to gender prior to that.
2: it "only" took a bit under 2 weeks and going through the GDB (thanks, Jocelyn! (Twipped)) with a highlighter Funny enough, I only realised *afterward* that I had been putting myself to sleep for a few months by picturing waking up the next day as a woman and what I'd do 🤭 then I started remembering the previous times I had wanted to be a girl :') (there were no signs!)
3: either worst or best day to do that.
4: my dad is gay (and, I suspect, a transfem in deep denial) and my mom is bi, so I thought I only wanted to belong amongst queer people.
5: it did… applied the first dose of gel in the evening, was already feeling better the next day 🤭@koalou definitely no signs, total normal cis thing to go to bed each night dreaming of waking up as a different gender
I say this as someone who did a lot of that in my tween years. And I think actually knowing about trans people, and then actually knowing what transness really is are the big thing here. So many of us had the vague notion of wanting to change gender/sex, and may have even had some idea that there were people called “transsexuals” but had only misinformation or skewed representations to go on. And heck, I learned what transgender really meant in the mid-10s, but didn’t understand non-binary until 2018/2019, and that’s what cracked my egg finally.
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@gcvsa from the polls many others have done, 30s - 50s are the majority of us I’m pretty sure, with some folks in their 20s and of course great friends who are also in 60s and above.
But this is kind of regardless, since I’m trying to get a sense of, for example, how many people are part of the COVID cohort and that stretches across all ages.
@mallory_sinn Ah, I see.
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> Funny enough, I only realised *afterward* that I had been putting myself to sleep for a few months by picturing waking up the next day as a woman and what I'd do
I used to fall asleep fantasizing about how my life would have been if I'd been born a girl
@eruonna
I was doing that in middle school, and kept thinking about it while awake…
In 2021, it was either waking up the next day in my bed as a woman and having to handle it (getting new clothes, convincing the government to update my papers, etc.), or¹ getting reborn in another world (with magic!) as a girl².1: I had forgotten when writing the previous message.
2: is it obvious I was reading too many mangas at that time? xD -
@eruonna
I was doing that in middle school, and kept thinking about it while awake…
In 2021, it was either waking up the next day in my bed as a woman and having to handle it (getting new clothes, convincing the government to update my papers, etc.), or¹ getting reborn in another world (with magic!) as a girl².1: I had forgotten when writing the previous message.
2: is it obvious I was reading too many mangas at that time? xDI went the other direction. First, I fantasized about what if I turned into a woman, but dealing with it all seemed like too much hassle (and also dealing with the assumption people would likely have that this change would be upsetting to me), so eventually I just settled on the always been this way solution. I suppose yours is a slightly more realistic picture of transition.
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@koalou definitely no signs, total normal cis thing to go to bed each night dreaming of waking up as a different gender
I say this as someone who did a lot of that in my tween years. And I think actually knowing about trans people, and then actually knowing what transness really is are the big thing here. So many of us had the vague notion of wanting to change gender/sex, and may have even had some idea that there were people called “transsexuals” but had only misinformation or skewed representations to go on. And heck, I learned what transgender really meant in the mid-10s, but didn’t understand non-binary until 2018/2019, and that’s what cracked my egg finally.
@mallory_sinn
I don't think I even had misinformation or heard about "transsexuals". I don't know if it wasn't really spoken about in France at the time, or if it was simply not something I was exposed to.I wonder if I met trans people as a kid when my parents were organizing the local Pride from our home. But with how clueless my mom was when I came out to her¹, I don't think there was anyone openly trans among the organizers.
1: my dad is transphobic and enbyphobic, no plan to CO to him any time soon. He'll know at some point but I don't want to deal with that for now.
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I went the other direction. First, I fantasized about what if I turned into a woman, but dealing with it all seemed like too much hassle (and also dealing with the assumption people would likely have that this change would be upsetting to me), so eventually I just settled on the always been this way solution. I suppose yours is a slightly more realistic picture of transition.
@eruonna
Funny enough, it didn't occur to me that people around me would have an issue with it, only the government x) Waking up with a different body, without paperwork to prove who I am would be a huge issue, especially with how often we have to show an ID… the only thing I can think of that'd help would be for my fingerprint to still match the ones in my passport's memory. -
@eruonna
Funny enough, it didn't occur to me that people around me would have an issue with it, only the government x) Waking up with a different body, without paperwork to prove who I am would be a huge issue, especially with how often we have to show an ID… the only thing I can think of that'd help would be for my fingerprint to still match the ones in my passport's memory.I'd seen the scenario enough in fiction that I got the idea that you were "supposed" to be horrified, so I figured that everyone around me would assume I was
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I went the other direction. First, I fantasized about what if I turned into a woman, but dealing with it all seemed like too much hassle (and also dealing with the assumption people would likely have that this change would be upsetting to me), so eventually I just settled on the always been this way solution. I suppose yours is a slightly more realistic picture of transition.
@eruonna
Also, for a while after accepting I was trans, I was picturing being sent back and living my teen years again, but knowing that I was trans, this time (plus keeping my current knowledge to be less bad in class). Well, I hope that never happens, really don’t want to live through it again, even if I can avoid the depression by knowing what the problems are xD -
I'd seen the scenario enough in fiction that I got the idea that you were "supposed" to be horrified, so I figured that everyone around me would assume I was
@eruonna
I don’t think I’ve seen it much in fiction
Actually, I can only think of 1 story: 1⁄2 Prince, and "she" clearly likes being a guy in the game x) although, I think I read it in 2014 or later, way too late for it to influence me as a teen.
I probably read other things that I simply can’t think of right now, but that would have been as an adult, I think.
(I’m not counting Ranma 1⁄2 as I only started it a few months ago then decided it wasn’t for me) -
TRANS PEOPLE
Totally unscientific survey of transition demographics on the fediverse, for transgender, non-binary, and gender diverse people.
What year did you either come out, begin transition, and/or have your egg crack?
@mallory_sinn Egg finally cracked October 2014; began HRT 30 June 2015; came out 8 January 2016.
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TRANS PEOPLE
Totally unscientific survey of transition demographics on the fediverse, for transgender, non-binary, and gender diverse people.
What year did you either come out, begin transition, and/or have your egg crack?
@mallory_sinn 2017 to crack the puzzle and be in a position mentally, financially and socially.
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TRANS PEOPLE
Totally unscientific survey of transition demographics on the fediverse, for transgender, non-binary, and gender diverse people.
What year did you either come out, begin transition, and/or have your egg crack?
1990s: was GNC (not the phrase used back then), fought social suppression and body dysphoria.
aughts: started(?) HRT (not the phrase used and this excludes an obscure treatment) but was forced to take the wrong hormones (matching gender assigned at birth).
start of 2010s: learned there are terms for what I was and am, found supposedly supportive groups; tried to come out and seek medical help; dealt with transphobic, homophobic, and sexist BS from family, friends, social (art & writing) group members, coworkers, work, supervisors, doctors, politicians, and media.
later 2010s: more of the same except worse.
2020+: less direct social interaction, more access to telehealth services, started GAHT/HRT.
No matter how much I've seen it, I don't really understand the egg metaphor— something to do with social media profiles, or is it "born again" beliefs? What I know is we take what we get. Some trans people are supported and transition smoothly to focus on other areas of life without constant drama.
Many of us here pick up pieces of the resources we can reach and make do with them.
The fediverse could count as a resource.
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1990s: was GNC (not the phrase used back then), fought social suppression and body dysphoria.
aughts: started(?) HRT (not the phrase used and this excludes an obscure treatment) but was forced to take the wrong hormones (matching gender assigned at birth).
start of 2010s: learned there are terms for what I was and am, found supposedly supportive groups; tried to come out and seek medical help; dealt with transphobic, homophobic, and sexist BS from family, friends, social (art & writing) group members, coworkers, work, supervisors, doctors, politicians, and media.
later 2010s: more of the same except worse.
2020+: less direct social interaction, more access to telehealth services, started GAHT/HRT.
No matter how much I've seen it, I don't really understand the egg metaphor— something to do with social media profiles, or is it "born again" beliefs? What I know is we take what we get. Some trans people are supported and transition smoothly to focus on other areas of life without constant drama.
Many of us here pick up pieces of the resources we can reach and make do with them.
The fediverse could count as a resource.
@shadowfals the key to the egg metaphor…for some of us, we’ve buried our gender feels and problems so deep, or we’ve internalized ignorance and denial from society, so we just assume that there’s no other option but to live as our assigned gender as best we can. Then, something happens or several somethings happen, and we are suddenly unable to deny the truth that we are trans or nonbinary. And like an egg cracking, at that point, the egg can’t be put back together again and there’s really only the choice of whether to live as yourself or live in dysphoria.
That’s how I would explain it more or less. For plenty of people, like yourself, it’s not a useful metaphor and your journey looks different. That’s why I included it among the possible beginnings of a person’s journey, but for some it’s not a meaningful marker
