A very traumatising time at my workplace due to being discriminated and harassed.
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A very traumatising time at my workplace due to being discriminated and harassed. This is the 1st time in 3 years that I actually stood up for myself. I did it only because I couldn't hold back my tears this time, therefore, I couldn't actually perform my duties. I walked out of the ops room and went to my line manager.
Line Manager: "what can we do to make this a safe and inclusive place to work?
Me: "well, "WE" don't need to do this. "YOU" do! You're the manager and there are comprehensive policies already in place that actually protect me from harassment and discrimination. Yet here we are.
This conversation went on for quite a while. In the end, I said I had no clue what to do. If my boss enforces policy, all of the bigots and misogynists will know it was because of me. And I'll get harassed more, only passive aggressively next time.
50% of my workplace hate me for simply existing. 75% of that 50% openly discuss my human rights as if I was an object and not a person. The other 25% are just waiting for the "right" (word used loosely) person to take charge and literally have me exterminated.
The problem is #transphobia is hard wired in people thru upbringing, #politics , #religion , #philosophy , and lots of #misinformation from supposedly credible agencies like the press and political offices.
There is no silver lining here. I wish there was. Being #trans is fucking HARD! I didn't do this for attention, I did it for survival. I fully accept all the shit that comes with it.
I went from being pushed around for being "different" to being assaulted, bullied and marginalised for being my true self. Not a great life, TBH.I do wish people would just get over it and accept that we have always been around. It's just that now technology has brought it out in the open and has polarised it.
But people just suck. In their little selfish bubbles trying to fit in with the cool kids.
This is me. Leave me alone for fuck's sake!
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A very traumatising time at my workplace due to being discriminated and harassed. This is the 1st time in 3 years that I actually stood up for myself. I did it only because I couldn't hold back my tears this time, therefore, I couldn't actually perform my duties. I walked out of the ops room and went to my line manager.
Line Manager: "what can we do to make this a safe and inclusive place to work?
Me: "well, "WE" don't need to do this. "YOU" do! You're the manager and there are comprehensive policies already in place that actually protect me from harassment and discrimination. Yet here we are.
This conversation went on for quite a while. In the end, I said I had no clue what to do. If my boss enforces policy, all of the bigots and misogynists will know it was because of me. And I'll get harassed more, only passive aggressively next time.
50% of my workplace hate me for simply existing. 75% of that 50% openly discuss my human rights as if I was an object and not a person. The other 25% are just waiting for the "right" (word used loosely) person to take charge and literally have me exterminated.
The problem is #transphobia is hard wired in people thru upbringing, #politics , #religion , #philosophy , and lots of #misinformation from supposedly credible agencies like the press and political offices.
There is no silver lining here. I wish there was. Being #trans is fucking HARD! I didn't do this for attention, I did it for survival. I fully accept all the shit that comes with it.
I went from being pushed around for being "different" to being assaulted, bullied and marginalised for being my true self. Not a great life, TBH.I do wish people would just get over it and accept that we have always been around. It's just that now technology has brought it out in the open and has polarised it.
But people just suck. In their little selfish bubbles trying to fit in with the cool kids.
This is me. Leave me alone for fuck's sake!
This is entirely a Them problem and not a You problem. The cissies absolutely need to get a fucking grip 🤬
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This is entirely a Them problem and not a You problem. The cissies absolutely need to get a fucking grip 🤬
@alexadeswift I totally agree! I guess I'm just sick of it. I was out on a 3 month sick note. This incident was my 1st fucking day back. My resilience was gone from being home safe and not dealing with the constant bullshit. It was as though they thought maybe I wouldn't return and they could just go back to openly talking shit about trans people with no repercussions. Fucking assholes!
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A very traumatising time at my workplace due to being discriminated and harassed. This is the 1st time in 3 years that I actually stood up for myself. I did it only because I couldn't hold back my tears this time, therefore, I couldn't actually perform my duties. I walked out of the ops room and went to my line manager.
Line Manager: "what can we do to make this a safe and inclusive place to work?
Me: "well, "WE" don't need to do this. "YOU" do! You're the manager and there are comprehensive policies already in place that actually protect me from harassment and discrimination. Yet here we are.
This conversation went on for quite a while. In the end, I said I had no clue what to do. If my boss enforces policy, all of the bigots and misogynists will know it was because of me. And I'll get harassed more, only passive aggressively next time.
50% of my workplace hate me for simply existing. 75% of that 50% openly discuss my human rights as if I was an object and not a person. The other 25% are just waiting for the "right" (word used loosely) person to take charge and literally have me exterminated.
The problem is #transphobia is hard wired in people thru upbringing, #politics , #religion , #philosophy , and lots of #misinformation from supposedly credible agencies like the press and political offices.
There is no silver lining here. I wish there was. Being #trans is fucking HARD! I didn't do this for attention, I did it for survival. I fully accept all the shit that comes with it.
I went from being pushed around for being "different" to being assaulted, bullied and marginalised for being my true self. Not a great life, TBH.I do wish people would just get over it and accept that we have always been around. It's just that now technology has brought it out in the open and has polarised it.
But people just suck. In their little selfish bubbles trying to fit in with the cool kids.
This is me. Leave me alone for fuck's sake!
@evilyn I'm so sorry that happened to you.
I'm fortunate to work in a relatively protected environment but I know some colleagues are against me or discuss my rights.
The good thing is that I have a support network that works. Still, I have to militate for inclusion at workplace, being in associate work, etc, just to have my rights to live.
We all know that our rights are not guaranteed, albeit it should, mankind is far, very far, from being a safe place.
I don't know which country you are in, I see your profile picture is in Paris. Let me know if I can be of help locally.
Take care, you're not alone! -
@alexadeswift I totally agree! I guess I'm just sick of it. I was out on a 3 month sick note. This incident was my 1st fucking day back. My resilience was gone from being home safe and not dealing with the constant bullshit. It was as though they thought maybe I wouldn't return and they could just go back to openly talking shit about trans people with no repercussions. Fucking assholes!
I am fortunate as I do not get this at my place of work. Not only because such would be against the law, but management right up to the CEO will not tolerate it AND the vast majority of us fully embrace a pluralistic liberal democratic way of life, and have signed up to protect that way of life!
We very well understand the end result of not defending it too, living and working as we do in Germany as a very multinational team.
Of course there is the AfD doing all that it can to destroy this ...
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@evilyn I'm so sorry that happened to you.
I'm fortunate to work in a relatively protected environment but I know some colleagues are against me or discuss my rights.
The good thing is that I have a support network that works. Still, I have to militate for inclusion at workplace, being in associate work, etc, just to have my rights to live.
We all know that our rights are not guaranteed, albeit it should, mankind is far, very far, from being a safe place.
I don't know which country you are in, I see your profile picture is in Paris. Let me know if I can be of help locally.
Take care, you're not alone!@natasha Thanking you so much for your lovely words and support.
I live on the "beloved" #terfisland #uk. Not as bad as the #usa but will be on track if the horrendous #ReformUK fascists get in the next general election.
I had such an amazing visit to Paris in that photo. I felt normal there and no one batted an eyelid at me. I was just a woman, plain and simple,
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I am fortunate as I do not get this at my place of work. Not only because such would be against the law, but management right up to the CEO will not tolerate it AND the vast majority of us fully embrace a pluralistic liberal democratic way of life, and have signed up to protect that way of life!
We very well understand the end result of not defending it too, living and working as we do in Germany as a very multinational team.
Of course there is the AfD doing all that it can to destroy this ...
@alexadeswift Thanks and yes, the AfD are horrifying to say the least. My news info may be outdated but aren't they labelled as terrorists in Germany now?
I hope and wish that one day my workplace can be as inclusive as yours. Not holding my breath though,
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@alexadeswift Thanks and yes, the AfD are horrifying to say the least. My news info may be outdated but aren't they labelled as terrorists in Germany now?
I hope and wish that one day my workplace can be as inclusive as yours. Not holding my breath though,
️No, they are still a perfectly legal party, although their old youth wing was declared illegal and had to be shut down
You are probably thinking of the Reichburgers who are terrorists
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@natasha Thanking you so much for your lovely words and support.
I live on the "beloved" #terfisland #uk. Not as bad as the #usa but will be on track if the horrendous #ReformUK fascists get in the next general election.
I had such an amazing visit to Paris in that photo. I felt normal there and no one batted an eyelid at me. I was just a woman, plain and simple,
@evilyn it's strange how people feel around.
I never had problems being non-binary in Paris but I always thought London was a yet more open city than Paris
Never been to London after coming out, maybe I should... -
No, they are still a perfectly legal party, although their old youth wing was declared illegal and had to be shut down
You are probably thinking of the Reichburgers who are terrorists
@alexadeswift ah yes, I think that's the one. Thanks for educating me, very good to know. And scary that AfD is allowed to function as a legal party, yikes!
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@evilyn it's strange how people feel around.
I never had problems being non-binary in Paris but I always thought London was a yet more open city than Paris
Never been to London after coming out, maybe I should...@natasha Yes, Paris seems very inclusive to me. For me, London is hit or miss. There are areas where you can be you, no questions. On the other hand the MET cops will allow violent fascists like Tommy Robinson and his far-right thugs have protests spouting outright hate speech whilst at the same time arresting pro #palestine #antigenocide protestors. The UK in general is a very strange place sometimes. Wedged between a warped democracy and a monarchy.
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@natasha Yes, Paris seems very inclusive to me. For me, London is hit or miss. There are areas where you can be you, no questions. On the other hand the MET cops will allow violent fascists like Tommy Robinson and his far-right thugs have protests spouting outright hate speech whilst at the same time arresting pro #palestine #antigenocide protestors. The UK in general is a very strange place sometimes. Wedged between a warped democracy and a monarchy.
@evilyn thanks for all this info.
There are always two different realities between visitors and locals.
I'll pay more attention and be careful in London next time. -
@alexadeswift ah yes, I think that's the one. Thanks for educating me, very good to know. And scary that AfD is allowed to function as a legal party, yikes!
As terrifying as it is, they are under ongoing investigation and there are repeated demands to declare them unconstitutional.
Hopefully something will come if this, but at the moment it is "... keep your enemies closer."
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A very traumatising time at my workplace due to being discriminated and harassed. This is the 1st time in 3 years that I actually stood up for myself. I did it only because I couldn't hold back my tears this time, therefore, I couldn't actually perform my duties. I walked out of the ops room and went to my line manager.
Line Manager: "what can we do to make this a safe and inclusive place to work?
Me: "well, "WE" don't need to do this. "YOU" do! You're the manager and there are comprehensive policies already in place that actually protect me from harassment and discrimination. Yet here we are.
This conversation went on for quite a while. In the end, I said I had no clue what to do. If my boss enforces policy, all of the bigots and misogynists will know it was because of me. And I'll get harassed more, only passive aggressively next time.
50% of my workplace hate me for simply existing. 75% of that 50% openly discuss my human rights as if I was an object and not a person. The other 25% are just waiting for the "right" (word used loosely) person to take charge and literally have me exterminated.
The problem is #transphobia is hard wired in people thru upbringing, #politics , #religion , #philosophy , and lots of #misinformation from supposedly credible agencies like the press and political offices.
There is no silver lining here. I wish there was. Being #trans is fucking HARD! I didn't do this for attention, I did it for survival. I fully accept all the shit that comes with it.
I went from being pushed around for being "different" to being assaulted, bullied and marginalised for being my true self. Not a great life, TBH.I do wish people would just get over it and accept that we have always been around. It's just that now technology has brought it out in the open and has polarised it.
But people just suck. In their little selfish bubbles trying to fit in with the cool kids.
This is me. Leave me alone for fuck's sake!
@evilyn I am so sorry you have to go through this. Actually it is the problem of individuals, and even if they are a lot, it is something you cannot police out of people's mind. Unfortunately media and politics fuel the hate, especially at the country you live.
After I transitioned, I had a load of dirt to eat, as the world is small, especially within some industries. Company policies is fine, but there is nothing to make anyone use them, besides you. Being trans stayed with me my entire working life, until I retired.
Option 1: Hang on. With teeth and claws. Maybe it helps to think that a jobs purpose is to pay the bills. Not a vocation. Your colleagues are ppl you happen to work with. Not friends material.
At one occasion I took notes during one of the scarier meetings with my team lead. I sent the notes to his manager, threatening that this would end up as a HR case, if that behaviour did not stop. I said "I do not want that, but if you force a hand..." Then I had to send the notes to the next level manager, claiming the same. I got a transfer within 6 months. Problems got worse, again with individuals. Finally I got a compensation package for not sueing, and left that company, before things had a chance to blow over.
Option 2: You look for a new job, with the hard question of disclosing your past. There are pros and cons for both. I tried to get hired by people who knew me, knew about me, no chance of even an interview. Then I landed a new job which I was especially qualified for, without disclosing, but got outed by a former colleague even before I started. I got lucky, it did not matter. That company was better, but I had gotten accostumed that not many asked me along to have lunch with them, without a business reason.
Transitioning is not for cowards. I agree. It is not easy. But worth it. Totally worth it. -
A very traumatising time at my workplace due to being discriminated and harassed. This is the 1st time in 3 years that I actually stood up for myself. I did it only because I couldn't hold back my tears this time, therefore, I couldn't actually perform my duties. I walked out of the ops room and went to my line manager.
Line Manager: "what can we do to make this a safe and inclusive place to work?
Me: "well, "WE" don't need to do this. "YOU" do! You're the manager and there are comprehensive policies already in place that actually protect me from harassment and discrimination. Yet here we are.
This conversation went on for quite a while. In the end, I said I had no clue what to do. If my boss enforces policy, all of the bigots and misogynists will know it was because of me. And I'll get harassed more, only passive aggressively next time.
50% of my workplace hate me for simply existing. 75% of that 50% openly discuss my human rights as if I was an object and not a person. The other 25% are just waiting for the "right" (word used loosely) person to take charge and literally have me exterminated.
The problem is #transphobia is hard wired in people thru upbringing, #politics , #religion , #philosophy , and lots of #misinformation from supposedly credible agencies like the press and political offices.
There is no silver lining here. I wish there was. Being #trans is fucking HARD! I didn't do this for attention, I did it for survival. I fully accept all the shit that comes with it.
I went from being pushed around for being "different" to being assaulted, bullied and marginalised for being my true self. Not a great life, TBH.I do wish people would just get over it and accept that we have always been around. It's just that now technology has brought it out in the open and has polarised it.
But people just suck. In their little selfish bubbles trying to fit in with the cool kids.
This is me. Leave me alone for fuck's sake!
-
@evilyn I am so sorry you have to go through this. Actually it is the problem of individuals, and even if they are a lot, it is something you cannot police out of people's mind. Unfortunately media and politics fuel the hate, especially at the country you live.
After I transitioned, I had a load of dirt to eat, as the world is small, especially within some industries. Company policies is fine, but there is nothing to make anyone use them, besides you. Being trans stayed with me my entire working life, until I retired.
Option 1: Hang on. With teeth and claws. Maybe it helps to think that a jobs purpose is to pay the bills. Not a vocation. Your colleagues are ppl you happen to work with. Not friends material.
At one occasion I took notes during one of the scarier meetings with my team lead. I sent the notes to his manager, threatening that this would end up as a HR case, if that behaviour did not stop. I said "I do not want that, but if you force a hand..." Then I had to send the notes to the next level manager, claiming the same. I got a transfer within 6 months. Problems got worse, again with individuals. Finally I got a compensation package for not sueing, and left that company, before things had a chance to blow over.
Option 2: You look for a new job, with the hard question of disclosing your past. There are pros and cons for both. I tried to get hired by people who knew me, knew about me, no chance of even an interview. Then I landed a new job which I was especially qualified for, without disclosing, but got outed by a former colleague even before I started. I got lucky, it did not matter. That company was better, but I had gotten accostumed that not many asked me along to have lunch with them, without a business reason.
Transitioning is not for cowards. I agree. It is not easy. But worth it. Totally worth it.@shadesofgrease Hiya and thanks for the response. I have to go for option 1. Paying bills etc is sadly too important and I can't afford or have the option to be "between jobs". I like the taking notes idea. I am also going to record my next meeting with management.
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@shadesofgrease Hiya and thanks for the response. I have to go for option 1. Paying bills etc is sadly too important and I can't afford or have the option to be "between jobs". I like the taking notes idea. I am also going to record my next meeting with management.
@evilyn I came out publicly in 2014, got the legal stuff sorted 6 months later. I had to hang on, be happy for small successes until 2018 to find a better employment. Better, not perfect.
But life as myself is worth it. Always.
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