Hey there @schmalzkringel, thanks for the follow request!
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Hey there @schmalzkringel, thanks for the follow request! Unfortunately there's not enough vibe on your profile to check, so...
If you could swap the world's cats and dogs with two other things, and folx would continue as though their lives and pets had always been that way, what would you choose?
I really want to answer with something like "tiny fainting goats & giant rubber chickens" just for the laughs I'd get out of it.
@alice @schmalzkringel Replace dogs with fennec foxes because eeeeeeee! :3 :3 :3
Replace cats with some sort of ermine because eeeeee! :3 :3 -
I'd swap cats and dogs with dogs and cats; cats replace dogs in all dog things and vice versa. Mostly just because I think it would be neat to have the same kind of diversity of cat breeds that we do of dogs. Big shaggy cats, tiny cats with big heads, long skinny cats, black cats with orange eyebrows...
I don't really have as much justification for swapping dogs in for cats, but it seemed fair if they are being replaced by cats that they could still have a place in people's homes.
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@alice @schmalzkringel I think dogs should be replaced with small dromaeosaurus like velociraptor. Roughly the same size, fast, agile and they probably got fluffy feathers
Cats on the other hand should be replaced with Geckos. I mean.. have you ever looked at one of those small critters? They're smol, cute and look like they're smiling. And they can hunt down all mosquitos who enter ones place
@enbypirate I love geckos so much! They're my favorite part of visiting Hawaii.
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@alice as a Canadian, I agree.
@mayintoronto @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel There's a reason we call them Cobra Chickens.
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@mayintoronto @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel There's a reason we call them Cobra Chickens.
@mayintoronto @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel During nesting season, they're such assholes. If they come at you, just gotta give them the ol' beakflip.
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@mayintoronto @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel During nesting season, they're such assholes. If they come at you, just gotta give them the ol' beakflip.
@grim_elsewhere a goose bit my bare thigh once because I wouldn't give it a cracker. I slapped it.
We both sat for a moment, silently appalled at each other's actions.
Then we both swore at each other from a safe distance until we decided to part ways.
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@grim_elsewhere a goose bit my bare thigh once because I wouldn't give it a cracker. I slapped it.
We both sat for a moment, silently appalled at each other's actions.
Then we both swore at each other from a safe distance until we decided to part ways.
@alice So rude. But you do have ridiculously bitable thighs. Still, I would ask first. What kind of cracker was it?
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@grim_elsewhere a goose bit my bare thigh once because I wouldn't give it a cracker. I slapped it.
We both sat for a moment, silently appalled at each other's actions.
Then we both swore at each other from a safe distance until we decided to part ways.
@alice @grim_elsewhere @mayintoronto @roknrol @schmalzkringel an English swan once bit my moms ass for the same reason. Those birds are mixture of anger, beauty, courage and the power to back it up
When I hung around with some punks at our meeting point next to the river, a pair of swans nested there. On one evening one of the two swans walked right towards us and we shit our pants, because big bad angry bird. And he sat right next to us and did.. Nothing. Except hissing at every person walking nearby.
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@alice @grim_elsewhere @mayintoronto @roknrol @schmalzkringel an English swan once bit my moms ass for the same reason. Those birds are mixture of anger, beauty, courage and the power to back it up
When I hung around with some punks at our meeting point next to the river, a pair of swans nested there. On one evening one of the two swans walked right towards us and we shit our pants, because big bad angry bird. And he sat right next to us and did.. Nothing. Except hissing at every person walking nearby.
@enbypirate You can't give any ground to them. Dropkick that football with legs. /s
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@enbypirate You can't give any ground to them. Dropkick that football with legs. /s
@grim_elsewhere @alice @mayintoronto @roknrol @schmalzkringel
Tbf I would fear for my life if a swan got really pissed at me -
@alice So rude. But you do have ridiculously bitable thighs. Still, I would ask first. What kind of cracker was it?
@grim_elsewhere Cheez-its IIRC
To be fair, there are days I'd bite someone for Cheez-its too.
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@whybird in both cases, "it" here is referring to the subject of the sentence, e.g. the goose.
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Hey there @schmalzkringel, thanks for the follow request! Unfortunately there's not enough vibe on your profile to check, so...
If you could swap the world's cats and dogs with two other things, and folx would continue as though their lives and pets had always been that way, what would you choose?
I really want to answer with something like "tiny fainting goats & giant rubber chickens" just for the laughs I'd get out of it.
@alice @schmalzkringel In Australia, one occasionally hears suggestions about domesticating a native species, such as the quoll, and replacing cats (an invasive predator) with them, though it seems to be impractical on any reasonable timeframe
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@alice as a Canadian, I agree.
@mayintoronto @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel there's a reason Canadians are considered the nicest human beings on earth : when your only other point of comparison are these avian brutes, it's hard to look bad.
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@mayintoronto @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel there's a reason Canadians are considered the nicest human beings on earth : when your only other point of comparison are these avian brutes, it's hard to look bad.
@mayintoronto @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel that or there was a finite amount of meanness to distribute across the country, and the geese got 90% of it.
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@roknrol @alice @schmalzkringel ah ha! Got it!
You are familiar with work of #HenryLizardLover?
@ambientspace @alice @schmalzkringel Nope, but I'll look him up!
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@alice @grim_elsewhere @mayintoronto @roknrol @schmalzkringel an English swan once bit my moms ass for the same reason. Those birds are mixture of anger, beauty, courage and the power to back it up
When I hung around with some punks at our meeting point next to the river, a pair of swans nested there. On one evening one of the two swans walked right towards us and we shit our pants, because big bad angry bird. And he sat right next to us and did.. Nothing. Except hissing at every person walking nearby.
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@Tooden @grim_elsewhere @alice @mayintoronto @roknrol geese and swans are actually ducks
But yeah.. where geese are just all bark, no bite, swans can bite as well. And hit. -
Hey there @schmalzkringel, thanks for the follow request! Unfortunately there's not enough vibe on your profile to check, so...
If you could swap the world's cats and dogs with two other things, and folx would continue as though their lives and pets had always been that way, what would you choose?
I really want to answer with something like "tiny fainting goats & giant rubber chickens" just for the laughs I'd get out of it.
@alice @schmalzkringel I'd replace cats with owls; I'm not sure anyone would notice. And then replace dogs with small bears.
I mean, if you look at my handle, my answer kinda becomes obvious.
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