Fedi: - "I follow you for the wholesome stuff 💕" - "I follow you for the lockpicking stuff 🔓" - "I follow you for the adult content ❤️‍🔥"

[murdoc@autistics.life]

@alice
I feel like there's a metaphor here.

[weezmgk@mastodon.social]

@alice grabbing the domi out of the nightstand and jacking the tourists' rental van parked in my front yard

[agturcz@circumstances.run]

@alice Ouch. 🤭

[notsle@kzoo.to]

@alice Almost thought it was one of The Lock picking Lawyers April Fools videos

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@michaelgemar nah, I was just teasing it a little first.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@autolycos was there a relevant assertion for my video?

[tragivictoria@mastodon.catgirl.cloud]

@alice@lgbtqia.space this is genius

[autolycos@med-mastodon.com]

@alice oh the bump keying with a magic wand

[smolbrain@floofy.tech]

@alice
-chef kiss-
Perfection
-Loud mouth click-
Nice!

Changing my domi to only have this setting
Telling people they can unlock my horny
And then dying when my heart explodes

[fruan@kind.social]

@alice Is this what they call bumping uglies?

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@smolbrain that was just on medium!

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@Fruan 🫢 my googly :3 face was adorable!

[fruan@kind.social]

@alice That lock is also beautiful, even if the casing has probably seen better days - Do you have any idea of how old it is?

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

It makes sense that a lock from the 1870s wouldn't be modern sextoy-proof. Women back then were still using steam-powered vibrators.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@Fruan per the alt-text: circa 1870s

[fruan@kind.social]

@alice Oh! There's alt text! Yay for accessibility, but now I feel like an idiot. Thanks!

[theorangetheme@en.osm.town]

@alice "Did the coal man come today?"
"Not yet."
"Fuck..."

[smolbrain@floofy.tech]

@alice hmmm... I need to go find my wand and test its settings again. Did you freaking overclock yours? Lol I feel like mine isnt quite that strong. But im also a baby maybe ive just been using low

[smolbrain@floofy.tech]

@alice omg is that why master lock still sucks? They have been resistance testing but they still use the ancient sex toy metric? Either we need to change metrics or we need way stronger sexy toys

[smolbrain@floofy.tech]

@theorangetheme @alice