A mad scientist has a shrink/grow ray and you will be hit with it.
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Either of these options will kill me.
Too big: there's nowhere in my city where I could bed down. Square-cube law says I'd break if I tried to stand, too. (Also, my required medication dosage would increase extremely alarmingly.)
Too small: my cat would eat me.
@cstross @futurebird but remember the Movie Logic applies. So you could probably stand.
Not sure if the "no adverse health effects" provision protects against the medication dosage increasing though.
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@futurebird @DamonWakes @btrinen
it will be a catastrophic event when I'll need to go to the toilet.
@kawunngg @futurebird @DamonWakes @btrinen “What? This mountain wasn’t there yesterday. And what’s that smell?”
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A mad scientist has a shrink/grow ray and you will be hit with it. You will either be 100 times larger (200 m tall) or 100 times smaller (2 cm tall) for one week.
Because of movie logic you will not die or suffer any huge health impacts, but you must make it through the week.
Do you go big? Or do you go small?
How will you spend your week?
@futurebird bigger.
I'd spend the first few days rounding up a bunch up a bunch of men who like to belittle women. I'd dump them in zoo enclosures in their pants and get a normal-sized friend to make signs telling the world what they did.
I'd spend the rest of the week rounding up anyone heard defending them. -
gnawing works I think.
But the cold of the ice cream might be a little dangerous. You could get very cold just by being too close to that delicious glacier.
@futurebird get me a big coat, a spade, and a pickaxe!
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A mad scientist has a shrink/grow ray and you will be hit with it. You will either be 100 times larger (200 m tall) or 100 times smaller (2 cm tall) for one week.
Because of movie logic you will not die or suffer any huge health impacts, but you must make it through the week.
Do you go big? Or do you go small?
How will you spend your week?
@futurebird Smaller. Why: 1) I have ZERO interest in being any more visible than I already am. I have zero interest in consuming more food. I have zero interest in accidentally squishing rare plants and the occasional slow puppy.
Also I would absolutely adore visiting the woods as a tiny person, and riding on my dog's back. I am 100% confident my dog would not try to eat me if I smelled the same.
I could do micro art!
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@futurebird 100 times larger of course! Think of all the data centers and warehouses you could just hulk smash.
@akamran @futurebird I thought of that. Realistically you could probably only hit one data center before they blow you up with an RPG or something. It's a suicide mission.
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@futurebird I suppose you could just swallow big things like a pumpkin without chewing when you decide tot be 200 m tall. But what would happen if you do that just before the week is over?
@frederikdekker @futurebird yep, you've discovered a secret problem with transformation. This is why werewolves are real and werecows are not. When a werewolf turns back into human form, its human digestive system can still digest the innocent late night party goer it ate. But when a werecow turns back into human form, its now-human digestive system can't digest grass, so the poor werecow dies.
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Imagine eating single part of a raspberry like an apple!
Having a slice of boba with a tiny dot of whipped cream on it!
Imagine trying to get something to eat while you are 180 meters tall. Licking a cornfield clean?
That's why I opted for 100 times smaller. I can also hide more easily. Have to avoid the cats, though ... Hm.
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@futurebird at 200m tall I’ll die of dehydration before the week is out, unless I’m willing to create an environmental disaster by draining the local lake and converting it to an equivalent volume of urine.
@andrewg @futurebird I had considered the logistics nightmare of food, but not water. I live near a LOT of very clean fresh water.
None of us are mentioning managing the *output* of a 100x human....
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@futurebird Smaller. Why: 1) I have ZERO interest in being any more visible than I already am. I have zero interest in consuming more food. I have zero interest in accidentally squishing rare plants and the occasional slow puppy.
Also I would absolutely adore visiting the woods as a tiny person, and riding on my dog's back. I am 100% confident my dog would not try to eat me if I smelled the same.
I could do micro art!
@SomeVeganCheeseIsOk @futurebird
"adore visiting the would". I am sure there are plenty of things there that's adore you as well --- as a snack.
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@akamran @futurebird I thought of that. Realistically you could probably only hit one data center before they blow you up with an RPG or something. It's a suicide mission.
@SomeVeganCheeseIsOk @futurebird nah, you'd be in the next country or out to sea by the time they got their shit together. I've seen lots of monster movies, I'm pretty sure I could wreak a LOT of havoc before they put me down!
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A mad scientist has a shrink/grow ray and you will be hit with it. You will either be 100 times larger (200 m tall) or 100 times smaller (2 cm tall) for one week.
Because of movie logic you will not die or suffer any huge health impacts, but you must make it through the week.
Do you go big? Or do you go small?
How will you spend your week?
If I was half an inch tall versus 500 feet tall?
The danger of being 0.5 inches would be devastating. You new world would be filled with deadly monsters that could easily kill or maim you or poison you or eat you. Toads, ant, spiders, cats, dogs, a shoe, a broom, a vacuum, a sneeze.. you could easily fall into the cracks you currently ignore. Your world folds in upon you.
Being 500 feet tall means you'd have to fast from eating for a week, or stroll over to Mar-a-lago and eat all the food meant to serve a thousand corrupt cronies as a snack. You could drain all the rich peoples' swimming pools (proportion of chlorine shouldn't harm a giant for a week) for water. More importantly you could literally crush every proposed ICE detention facility and data center. At 500 feet, you could sleep in a field in a red county, but...where to uh, use the facilities? You'd be a giant biohazard.
Both have major drawbacks.
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@futurebird I voted smaller, because it seems easier to (a) find things to eat and (b) explore without becoming a massive public spectacle, even if all I'd be exploring is my own home. Or maybe catch a ride on someone's trouser leg?
But if I did end up 170m tall, I'd tromp over to an ocean and go swimming, exploring depths not usually possible without specialized equipment.
@AmeliasBrain @futurebird the ocean is the *one* thing that might persuade me to go big. But what if depth pressure effects your feet exactly as badly as it would normally?
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@SomeVeganCheeseIsOk @futurebird
"adore visiting the would". I am sure there are plenty of things there that's adore you as well --- as a snack.
@glitzersachen @futurebird this is why I would have a knife and a shield and an accompanying spouse. I am genuinely not afraid of the local wildlife.
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@glitzersachen @futurebird this is why I would have a knife and a shield and an accompanying spouse. I am genuinely not afraid of the local wildlife.
@SomeVeganCheeseIsOk @futurebird
OK. Were the equipment and the spouse in the conditions? Will the spuse have been shrunk as well?
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A mad scientist has a shrink/grow ray and you will be hit with it. You will either be 100 times larger (200 m tall) or 100 times smaller (2 cm tall) for one week.
Because of movie logic you will not die or suffer any huge health impacts, but you must make it through the week.
Do you go big? Or do you go small?
How will you spend your week?
I live in an old apartment building. I know what also lurks in the shadows there.
100 times bigger, even though it wouldn't be my favorite choice. I can find fresh water, and not eat for a week.
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A mad scientist has a shrink/grow ray and you will be hit with it. You will either be 100 times larger (200 m tall) or 100 times smaller (2 cm tall) for one week.
Because of movie logic you will not die or suffer any huge health impacts, but you must make it through the week.
Do you go big? Or do you go small?
How will you spend your week?
@futurebird @trending_bot 100x larger. STOMPY STOMPY STOMPY
Bye bye Trump, Putin, Starmer, Farage, Netanyahu, Bezos, Musk, the Facebook dilbert (whose name escapes me), and any other fash/techbro that gets in my way.
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@SomeVeganCheeseIsOk @futurebird
OK. Were the equipment and the spouse in the conditions? Will the spuse have been shrunk as well?
@glitzersachen @futurebird spouse is normal sized. A bit of wire will make a decent sword. A bottle cap will make a nice shield. Spouse brings 2cm me outside, puts me on some moss or lichen. I get the best views of a moss ecosystem ever. WIN.
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@glitzersachen @futurebird spouse is normal sized. A bit of wire will make a decent sword. A bottle cap will make a nice shield. Spouse brings 2cm me outside, puts me on some moss or lichen. I get the best views of a moss ecosystem ever. WIN.
@SomeVeganCheeseIsOk @futurebird
> A bit of wire will make a decent sword.
I have to nitpick. This would be a club.
> I get the best views of a moss ecosystem ever. WIN.
+1
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@kawunngg @futurebird @DamonWakes @btrinen “What? This mountain wasn’t there yesterday. And what’s that smell?”
@david @kawunngg @futurebird @btrinen Let's not be too quick to dump on a potential green alternative to the Haber process. It's free* fertiliser, after all.
*ignoring whatever it takes to power the mad science ray
