we are not... supposed... to have... wireless firmware update... on a knife...

[dm_ronin@mstdn.social]

honestly, tech industry can sometimes be so depressing.

[snowyca@social.vivaldi.net]

@DM_Ronin

And for only the Regular price of $529.00 * you too can own a chef's knife that can be bricked while carving your Sunday roast.

* Easy payments of $6.99 a month for life due to the high interest rate.

[dianea@lgbtqia.space]

@DM_Ronin

something can you install Doom on it

[kaspi@mstdn.social]

@DM_Ronin truly cutting edge technology

[dm_ronin@mstdn.social]

@dianea and play Doom while cutting onions

[bms48@mastodon.social]

@DM_Ronin This has Salvador Dali's "Young Virgin Auto-Sodomized By Her Own Chastity" all over it. Yeah, that was about his sister, so arguably a form of horizontal reverse-Oedipal transference.

[sjcooke66@mastodon.social]

@DM_Ronin So IoT has taken a low-tech object that we've had since the palaeolithic - an efficient, labour-saving, disposable cutting tool - and made it cost half a week's pay?

[snowyca@social.vivaldi.net]

@sjcooke66

"half a weeks pay"
you are fortunate.

@DM_Ronin

[sjcooke66@mastodon.social]

@SnowyCA @DM_Ronin More than many I admit. The wording was due to the difficulty of generalizing monetary value across national borders however.

[happyborg@fosstodon.org]

@DM_Ronin obscure reference.. in the film Harry is Here to Help (highly recommended) the old school friend Harry, recites a creepy poem by his buddy from school called The Knife and I wonder about the connection here

[mwt@toot.garden]

@DM_Ronin can you still chop veggies if you just don't update?

[patsytheshark@mastodon.ie]

@DM_Ronin
I am so confused - what is being updated? What does the knife do that is different than a regular knife and requires firmware?

[patsytheshark@mastodon.ie]

@DM_Ronin
Scratch that, I just realised you included a link

The copy is (?unintentionally) hilarious - you can't see, hear, or feel it doing anything different but trust me bro, it is.

[securedllama@infosec.exchange]

@patsytheshark @DM_Ronin vibrations are how chain saws work so it probably helps to some degree. I have no idea why anybody would even want to have connectivity though. There's an accountant somewhere not doing their job properly.

I would be curious to see how different frequency vibrations work with different foods. Does increasing frequency make it better on everything? Is there an optimum frequency for onions which is different from peppers? My Dremel has an app where you can choose what material, bit and application you have and it can Bluetooth the speed to the tool. I have never downloaded the app.

[securedllama@infosec.exchange]

@patsytheshark @DM_Ronin vibrations are how a chain saw works so it probably helps to some degree. I have no idea why anybody would even want to have connectivity though. There's an accountant somewhere not doing their job properly.

I would be curious to see how different frequency vibrations work with different foods. Does increasing frequency make it better on everything? Is there an optimum frequency for onions which is different from peppers? My Dremel has an app where you can choose what material, bit and application you have and it can Bluetooth the speed to the tool. I have never downloaded the app.

[arclight@oldbytes.space]

@DM_Ronin "Yo dawg, I heard you liked attack surfaces so I put an attack surface on your attack surface..."

[nazokiyoubinbou@urusai.social]

@DM_Ronin Why is the whole blade chrome-plated??? I... don't think this knife is safe to use anyway...

EDIT: Ok, got a look at the product page. Ok, first of all WOW at that price!!! What even the!!! Second of all, even if it claims to be high carbon steel, there's no way that isn't chrome plated... I'll die on this hill if I have to.

[ralph@hear-me.social]

@DM_Ronin

And, the vibroknife is +1 against body armour, if I recall correctly.

[tribeofma@ohai.social]

@DM_Ronin

[flop_ysh@hostux.social]

@DM_Ronin but honestly how good does it work? Like on a pumpkin for instance. Does it need less sharpening?