Here’s the thing you need to know about people who transitioned as adults: their transition is probably a truly epic saga.
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Here’s the thing you need to know about people who transitioned as adults: their transition is probably a truly epic saga. They might be the most basic person ever, and they might not tell you their story, but it’s there.
Maybe it’s about the extremes they reached running from their dysphoria. Maybe it’s an intricate web of relationships and pain and sorrow. Maybe it’s an internal tale of descending into themselves to battle daemons that society itself cursed them with.
Transition is wild, yo.
Trans folks, if you are so inclined, please feel free to share your story.
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Here’s the thing you need to know about people who transitioned as adults: their transition is probably a truly epic saga. They might be the most basic person ever, and they might not tell you their story, but it’s there.
Maybe it’s about the extremes they reached running from their dysphoria. Maybe it’s an intricate web of relationships and pain and sorrow. Maybe it’s an internal tale of descending into themselves to battle daemons that society itself cursed them with.
Transition is wild, yo.
I didn't know "transgender" existed until I was 30. My egg didn't fully crack for another five years.
For me, I had to do some weapons-grade introspection just to admit to myself that I was trans even though it checked every box and explained all the shit I'd been through and almost every uncomfortable thought I'd ever had.
I was like, "is there something you can give me to make it go away?"
"Yes, HRT."
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Trans folks, if you are so inclined, please feel free to share your story.
@Willow hmm...I was thinking about sharing the story of my name soon. Seems like a good reason to!
But yeah, it's a hell of a thing to get married to a trans woman who is a globally recognized trans activist with several trans friends and activists at your wedding...and still be convinced you are a cishet man unaware of the bomb waiting to go off six months later. Not to mention, I tried to escape dysphoria through 5 continents, 3 or 4 different careers, and some reckless behaviors that only happen when you do not feel any value to your own life.
...there's a reason I describe myself as having been a hard-boiled egg.
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Trans folks, if you are so inclined, please feel free to share your story.
@Willow I wrote a whole ass post about my trans journey:
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Here’s the thing you need to know about people who transitioned as adults: their transition is probably a truly epic saga. They might be the most basic person ever, and they might not tell you their story, but it’s there.
Maybe it’s about the extremes they reached running from their dysphoria. Maybe it’s an intricate web of relationships and pain and sorrow. Maybe it’s an internal tale of descending into themselves to battle daemons that society itself cursed them with.
Transition is wild, yo.
@Willow a lot of them eventually probably don't even remember a lot of it because they must minimize the amount of trauma they have to carry around on a daily basis.
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Here’s the thing you need to know about people who transitioned as adults: their transition is probably a truly epic saga. They might be the most basic person ever, and they might not tell you their story, but it’s there.
Maybe it’s about the extremes they reached running from their dysphoria. Maybe it’s an intricate web of relationships and pain and sorrow. Maybe it’s an internal tale of descending into themselves to battle daemons that society itself cursed them with.
Transition is wild, yo.
@Willow I like this perspective. Some days I feel like trauma dumping all over the internet. Some days I just like sitting there minding my own business. But either way it's always there, humming in the background.
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@Willow a lot of them eventually probably don't even remember a lot of it because they must minimize the amount of trauma they have to carry around on a daily basis.
@old_angry_queer That and stories have a way of changing over time as different parts of our stories become more or less important to us.
Yes, some of that is trauma and some of it is just the nature of stories. I know the way I tell my story to day is vastly different than the way I would have told it even a year ago.
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Here’s the thing you need to know about people who transitioned as adults: their transition is probably a truly epic saga. They might be the most basic person ever, and they might not tell you their story, but it’s there.
Maybe it’s about the extremes they reached running from their dysphoria. Maybe it’s an intricate web of relationships and pain and sorrow. Maybe it’s an internal tale of descending into themselves to battle daemons that society itself cursed them with.
Transition is wild, yo.
@Willow I dunno, I think mine is more just a story of a mind unable to correlate all of its contents, until it finally does. Like, I wondered if I might be trans in 2003. Around the same time, I also wished I could dress up as a woman, just to see what it was like to move through society as a woman, but figured people would just see "a man in a dress" and felt disappointed. I did not put these two things together until 2021.
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Trans folks, if you are so inclined, please feel free to share your story.
@Willow there was the phase of my peers bothering me about my gender before I knew anything about anything, then the "why am I more interested in the idea of being a girl for a day than my friends" phase, the I basically knew but also didn't phase, late stage denial, and finally unable to deny it anymore. -
R relay@relay.mycrowd.ca shared this topic
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@Willow I dunno, I think mine is more just a story of a mind unable to correlate all of its contents, until it finally does. Like, I wondered if I might be trans in 2003. Around the same time, I also wished I could dress up as a woman, just to see what it was like to move through society as a woman, but figured people would just see "a man in a dress" and felt disappointed. I did not put these two things together until 2021.
@Willow which, don't get me wrong, I love to tell the story anyway. Transition is one of the best things I've ever done
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Trans folks, if you are so inclined, please feel free to share your story.
@Willow "there were no signs" has been a running joke for me and my wife for years. (We've swapped genders almost completely since lockdown.)
If you're looking for Dramatic Moments:
I got my passport corrected in November 2024, just before the US government stopped issuing X gender passports. I started T and got my name changed the same month.
My first successful date with a cis gay man was in early 2025 during a visit to the UK; in fact, a lot of that trip was about gender for me.
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@Willow "there were no signs" has been a running joke for me and my wife for years. (We've swapped genders almost completely since lockdown.)
If you're looking for Dramatic Moments:
I got my passport corrected in November 2024, just before the US government stopped issuing X gender passports. I started T and got my name changed the same month.
My first successful date with a cis gay man was in early 2025 during a visit to the UK; in fact, a lot of that trip was about gender for me.
@Willow (more detailed thoughts here: https://wandering.shop/@WizardOfDocs/113903126434020959)
In summer 2025, I had a series of "is this who I'd have been as a boy in high school" moments (https://wandering.shop/@WizardOfDocs/114996941445566828).
In the fall, I married @storm , and I bought my first suit for the occasion. Both sets of parents were there; I'm still not entirely sure either of them fully understands what we're doing, but I'm glad they all wanted to be there.
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@Willow (more detailed thoughts here: https://wandering.shop/@WizardOfDocs/113903126434020959)
In summer 2025, I had a series of "is this who I'd have been as a boy in high school" moments (https://wandering.shop/@WizardOfDocs/114996941445566828).
In the fall, I married @storm , and I bought my first suit for the occasion. Both sets of parents were there; I'm still not entirely sure either of them fully understands what we're doing, but I'm glad they all wanted to be there.
@Willow @storm oh, and I came out to my conservative grandparents as part of the wedding planning
I'd spent years terrified of how they'd react---and then it wasn't so bad.
Possibly because we focused on the name change and minimized the pronoun change. Maybe they haven't quite put all the pieces together.And I've mostly forgiven Mom for pushing me into it, entirely because it turned out okay.
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Trans folks, if you are so inclined, please feel free to share your story.
@Willow Someday if I can write it down as a coherent narrative, maybe. I’m still very much reevaluating half a century of memories in the context of “I was trans the whole time.”
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Trans folks, if you are so inclined, please feel free to share your story.
@Willow Summer. 1993. I was 13.
Puberty hit me hard between grades 7 and 8. Fast. Ugly.
I was mistaken for my dad on the phone. Adam's apple to next week. Hair already giving away the fact I'll go bald. I hated every moment of it, way more than the other boys.
It hit so hard, in fact, that my pituitary gland had to balance my body out with estrogen, with an unexpected side effect: hard lumps under my nipples.
The doctor said it was temporary, puberty-induced gynecomastia, and that it would go away in about 6–12 months. Most boys would probably be elated and play video games. I walked out of his office numb. And that numbness bothered me. In fact, it bothered me the rest of the day.
You see, I was a kid who ideated suicide a lot, very quietly. My parents screamed and fought constantly. I was viciously abused at school for my high marks and my (unaware-to-me) queerness. I was used to the numbness of wanting to cease.
This wasn't that. This numbness pulled. At my mind. The rest of the day. And it wouldn't leave
I went to sleep bothered not to be able to figure it out, like a limb that fell asleep that won't wake up. I eventually decided to try to sleep and worry about it the next day. My brain went quiet. Until:
“Oh,” a little, calm, rational voice — my voice — said, “you have little breast buds and you don't want to lose them.
But. You're going to. And that hurts. That's the problem.”
That voice was tiny, but it split my brain like a thundercrack. I immediately knew.
I was a girl.
I cried silently in my bed for what seemed like hours. It wasn't a mistake, what this voice said. But God wouldn't fuck up this bad. Science wouldn't fuck up this bad. There has to be something.
What can I do?
What… could I do?
There's… nothing I could do.
I cried myself to sleep knowing who I was, but more trapped than I could imagine.
That's the story of discovery. I'll write more later.
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Here’s the thing you need to know about people who transitioned as adults: their transition is probably a truly epic saga. They might be the most basic person ever, and they might not tell you their story, but it’s there.
Maybe it’s about the extremes they reached running from their dysphoria. Maybe it’s an intricate web of relationships and pain and sorrow. Maybe it’s an internal tale of descending into themselves to battle daemons that society itself cursed them with.
Transition is wild, yo.
@Willow the only "epic saga" at this time is the one my parents say they have to embark upon before they can stop misgendering me
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Here’s the thing you need to know about people who transitioned as adults: their transition is probably a truly epic saga. They might be the most basic person ever, and they might not tell you their story, but it’s there.
Maybe it’s about the extremes they reached running from their dysphoria. Maybe it’s an intricate web of relationships and pain and sorrow. Maybe it’s an internal tale of descending into themselves to battle daemons that society itself cursed them with.
Transition is wild, yo.
@Willow I built an extra floor on my house, so desperate was I for something to feel better about myself "for some reason". Also I am an idiot.
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@Willow I built an extra floor on my house, so desperate was I for something to feel better about myself "for some reason". Also I am an idiot.
@Willow I guess on the upside I can enjoy a warm cocoa from what I now think of as my dysphoria-tower.
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@Willow Someday if I can write it down as a coherent narrative, maybe. I’m still very much reevaluating half a century of memories in the context of “I was trans the whole time.”
@Undercat @Willow You too, huh? I suspect mine would be at least 30% flashbacks by volume.
I could write it as a linear timeline, but a dry retelling of the facts just wouldn't convey the impact of that realisation. The series of "wait, was that..?" and "now that makes sense" moments that just keep compounding, not to mention the growing collection of "did I even hear the words coming out of my own mouth?!"
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@Willow I built an extra floor on my house, so desperate was I for something to feel better about myself "for some reason". Also I am an idiot.
