Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Brite
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (Cyborg)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

CIRCLE WITH A DOT

  1. Home
  2. Uncategorized
  3. Oh honey, no one is telling children they're trans. Trust me.

Oh honey, no one is telling children they're trans. Trust me.

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Uncategorized
29 Posts 12 Posters 43 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • grace@social.lolG grace@social.lol

    @naga @YouShallNotPass same!!

    I'm 43 and just getting started. I didn't realize that most men didn't feel like a stranger around men or that you were just trapped in a meat suit.

    youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
    youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
    youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
    wrote last edited by
    #18

    @grace @naga
    There are usually so many signs once you know what you look for. Try not to beat yourself up about it though. No one told you what you look for.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • grace@social.lolG grace@social.lol

      @naga @YouShallNotPass same!!

      I'm 43 and just getting started. I didn't realize that most men didn't feel like a stranger around men or that you were just trapped in a meat suit.

      naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
      naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
      naga@toot.cat
      wrote last edited by
      #19

      @grace @YouShallNotPass I remember first grade and wishing I were a girl because I didn't like the way boys acted and didn't want to have to hang out with them or conform to the expectations of how boys act.

      naga@toot.catN 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • naga@toot.catN naga@toot.cat

        @grace @YouShallNotPass I remember first grade and wishing I were a girl because I didn't like the way boys acted and didn't want to have to hang out with them or conform to the expectations of how boys act.

        naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
        naga@toot.catN This user is from outside of this forum
        naga@toot.cat
        wrote last edited by
        #20

        @grace @YouShallNotPass And it still took another 50 years ... the last few of which I'd already taken to wearing skirts.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

          Oh honey, no one is telling children they're trans. Trust me. Everyone is telling children that they're cis, repeatedly, hard, insistently, like a chorus of total negation. If a kid manages to figure out that they're trans in spite of every fucking thing in the world telling them they aren't trans, it wasn't because someone told them they were trans. The most they likely ever heard, and it's not all that likely, is that it's okay to be trans.

          But you know that already. You don't want anyone to stop telling children they're trans, because no one does that. What you want is for it not to be okay to be trans.

          saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
          saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
          saorsa@neondystopia.world
          wrote last edited by
          #21
          Not something that should ever be relevant until puberty.

          @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
          youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY 1 Reply Last reply
          2
          0
          • R relay@relay.publicsquare.global shared this topic
            R relay@relay.an.exchange shared this topic
          • saorsa@neondystopia.worldS saorsa@neondystopia.world
            Not something that should ever be relevant until puberty.

            @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
            youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
            youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
            youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
            wrote last edited by
            #22

            @Saorsa
            So your thesis is that we don't develop genders until we hit puberty?

            saorsa@neondystopia.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

              @Saorsa
              So your thesis is that we don't develop genders until we hit puberty?

              saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
              saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
              saorsa@neondystopia.world
              wrote last edited by
              #23
              That children should be left to be children until a time where it is appropriate to discuss. Gender expression doesn't cross the minds of my children and when prompted voluntarily, it should be up to the parent on how to address the matter with them.

              I'm of the opinion that they don't need to know about such stuff until an age where they can somewhat process what that means. By allowing a child to freely express themselves without pushing them in any particular direction, they can discover for themselves what that means and know how to articulate it by the time they reach that age.

              @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
              youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY earthtoneone@mstdn.socialE 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • saorsa@neondystopia.worldS saorsa@neondystopia.world
                That children should be left to be children until a time where it is appropriate to discuss. Gender expression doesn't cross the minds of my children and when prompted voluntarily, it should be up to the parent on how to address the matter with them.

                I'm of the opinion that they don't need to know about such stuff until an age where they can somewhat process what that means. By allowing a child to freely express themselves without pushing them in any particular direction, they can discover for themselves what that means and know how to articulate it by the time they reach that age.

                @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
                youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
                wrote last edited by
                #24

                @Saorsa
                I have bad news for you: Gender very much crosses your children's minds. Children are perfectly capable of processing what gender means. Puberty is usually too late to start worrying about gender because by then the damage has been done.

                Society is already telling all children that they're cis. This currently isn't up to the parents. However, if we were to leave it up to the parents, millions of children would be abused by parents who want to force cis-ness on their children.

                Statistically, no one is telling your kids or any other kids that they're trans. That's very much not true in the other direction. I don't want to tell your children or any children that they're trans. That's up to them to decide. I just want to give them information and options before puberty removes some if not all of those options. This is not currently being done, in part due to people saying that children should be free to make their own choices and not bothered with information they can't process.

                Age-gating this stuff is a giant red flag. If you don't intend to wave a giant red flag, you should reconsider your statements. If you do intend to wave a giant red flag, I guess I'm grateful you gave me the opportunity to refute your bigotry, but, a word to the wise, that gratitude will only go so far. You have a choice to make.

                1 Reply Last reply
                1
                0
                • saorsa@neondystopia.worldS saorsa@neondystopia.world
                  That children should be left to be children until a time where it is appropriate to discuss. Gender expression doesn't cross the minds of my children and when prompted voluntarily, it should be up to the parent on how to address the matter with them.

                  I'm of the opinion that they don't need to know about such stuff until an age where they can somewhat process what that means. By allowing a child to freely express themselves without pushing them in any particular direction, they can discover for themselves what that means and know how to articulate it by the time they reach that age.

                  @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
                  earthtoneone@mstdn.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                  earthtoneone@mstdn.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                  earthtoneone@mstdn.social
                  wrote last edited by
                  #25

                  @Saorsa Did you grow up as a human child? Surely you can remember being one? Gender expression is EVERYTHING on the playground. Kids notice they're not like the others when they're single-digit years old, and they're shamed relentlessly for it.

                  I'm cis, but it was a similar experience being neurodivergent and not knowing. Without the vocabulary to explain why I was different, all I had was shame, to the point of attempting suicide at 11.

                  Kids don't suddenly become people at 18. They know.

                  saorsa@neondystopia.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • earthtoneone@mstdn.socialE earthtoneone@mstdn.social

                    @Saorsa Did you grow up as a human child? Surely you can remember being one? Gender expression is EVERYTHING on the playground. Kids notice they're not like the others when they're single-digit years old, and they're shamed relentlessly for it.

                    I'm cis, but it was a similar experience being neurodivergent and not knowing. Without the vocabulary to explain why I was different, all I had was shame, to the point of attempting suicide at 11.

                    Kids don't suddenly become people at 18. They know.

                    saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                    saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                    saorsa@neondystopia.world
                    wrote last edited by
                    #26
                    They know, yes but is another matter entirely to provide unsolicited guidance when at that age. That is why I've made sure to outline that if the child were to first approach their parents about it unprompted, then navigating the matter should be left to their own discretion.

                    So long as you are encouraging them to freely express themselves without telling them they're this or that, then I'm fine with slight exposure at younger ages under the correct circumstances. Otherwise, I believe it should be left until puberty where for most people those aspects start to take centre stage as they transition into adolescence.

                    *Edited.

                    @earthtoneone@mstdn.social @RandamuMaki@mstdn.social @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
                    youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • saorsa@neondystopia.worldS saorsa@neondystopia.world
                      They know, yes but is another matter entirely to provide unsolicited guidance when at that age. That is why I've made sure to outline that if the child were to first approach their parents about it unprompted, then navigating the matter should be left to their own discretion.

                      So long as you are encouraging them to freely express themselves without telling them they're this or that, then I'm fine with slight exposure at younger ages under the correct circumstances. Otherwise, I believe it should be left until puberty where for most people those aspects start to take centre stage as they transition into adolescence.

                      *Edited.

                      @earthtoneone@mstdn.social @RandamuMaki@mstdn.social @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
                      youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                      youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                      youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
                      wrote last edited by
                      #27

                      @Saorsa
                      How are they going to solicit advice when they don't know they need it? We don't expect children to come to their parents and ask to be taught math. And in this case, it's more like they're being taught that math is bad and wrong by everyone, then expecting them to have the wherewithal to ask people about it who may be the very ones teaching them that math is bad and wrong.

                      Gender doesn't begin at puberty. Full stop. No backsies. Waiting until puberty to teach children about gender is akin to waiting until puberty to teach them about morality or sexuality. By that point, it's usually too late.

                      And again, the age-gating. It's not good. I'm pretty sure this is the end of any useful interaction I can have with you. You seem dead-set on repeating the same incorrect points over and over again and you don't address any of the concerns one might have with them. I fear for your kids and I fear for you.

                      saorsa@neondystopia.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw

                        @Saorsa
                        How are they going to solicit advice when they don't know they need it? We don't expect children to come to their parents and ask to be taught math. And in this case, it's more like they're being taught that math is bad and wrong by everyone, then expecting them to have the wherewithal to ask people about it who may be the very ones teaching them that math is bad and wrong.

                        Gender doesn't begin at puberty. Full stop. No backsies. Waiting until puberty to teach children about gender is akin to waiting until puberty to teach them about morality or sexuality. By that point, it's usually too late.

                        And again, the age-gating. It's not good. I'm pretty sure this is the end of any useful interaction I can have with you. You seem dead-set on repeating the same incorrect points over and over again and you don't address any of the concerns one might have with them. I fear for your kids and I fear for you.

                        saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                        saorsa@neondystopia.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                        saorsa@neondystopia.world
                        wrote last edited by
                        #28
                        They'll be in relatively good hands under the guardianship of a libertarian. I haven't said that children under no circumstances should be taught about gender until they hit puberty. I simply believe that it is place of the parents to decide whether to disclose that information and the degree to which they feel comfortable discussing it with their children with respect to still developing cognition.

                        I simply believe that it is not our place or that of the education system to be educating children at length on gender identity and sexual expression before puberty. My reasoning for the decision has not been informed by blind hatred or intolerance contrary to your previous assertion but rather the myriad of research available in the field of paediatric psychology concerning the cognition of minors at various stages of development. There is a reason after all why minors are considered a vulnerable demographic alongside the geriatric and psychologically impaired.

                        *Edited.

                        @earthtoneone@mstdn.social @RandamuMaki@mstdn.social @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
                        youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • saorsa@neondystopia.worldS saorsa@neondystopia.world
                          They'll be in relatively good hands under the guardianship of a libertarian. I haven't said that children under no circumstances should be taught about gender until they hit puberty. I simply believe that it is place of the parents to decide whether to disclose that information and the degree to which they feel comfortable discussing it with their children with respect to still developing cognition.

                          I simply believe that it is not our place or that of the education system to be educating children at length on gender identity and sexual expression before puberty. My reasoning for the decision has not been informed by blind hatred or intolerance contrary to your previous assertion but rather the myriad of research available in the field of paediatric psychology concerning the cognition of minors at various stages of development. There is a reason after all why minors are considered a vulnerable demographic alongside the geriatric and psychologically impaired.

                          *Edited.

                          @earthtoneone@mstdn.social @RandamuMaki@mstdn.social @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
                          youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                          youshallnotpass@chaosfem.twY This user is from outside of this forum
                          youshallnotpass@chaosfem.tw
                          wrote last edited by
                          #29

                          @Saorsa
                          You're a libertarian. How cute. Yes, that's insulting, but you're a libertarian so you must be used to it. Avaunt ye and begone from my sight.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          Reply
                          • Reply as topic
                          Log in to reply
                          • Oldest to Newest
                          • Newest to Oldest
                          • Most Votes


                          • Login

                          • Login or register to search.
                          • First post
                            Last post
                          0
                          • Categories
                          • Recent
                          • Tags
                          • Popular
                          • World
                          • Users
                          • Groups