Please I have very strong persistent #depression I have tried a lot of antidepressants but they don't work.

[hipsterelectron@circumstances.run]

@meluzzy i'm sorry this is possibly the worst thing ever and i'm very sorry it's happening. i have lots of silly ideas for situations like this. i find learning new things much easier by way of making them. if you want the most brain destroying possible thing i recommend trying a composable grammar API for parser generation. i don't like a lot of the extant theory so i made my own. i still don't like mine enough to use for a programming language which i actually think should be parsed by hand for various reasons. i want to work on my terrible programming language again now that i know not to get stuck on parsing. i'm also working on a compression tool which i know will have better performance than zstd bc i spent a lot of time trying to work on zstd. this directory has a ton of interesting information theory and cryptography papers if you can't focus on writing and reading is easier https://codeberg.org/cosmicexplorer/corporeal/src/branch/main/literature some of them are beyond me to be clear they're all pretty intense but i'm used to reading things i don't fully understand and it's not a bad skill to develop (there's an analogous skill for reading code). i'm gonna try to work on the compression tool more today (it's actually in C not using this rust repo for it anymore) and might be interested in collaborators although my legitimately toxic trait is that i have a somewhat specific idea of how i want to do it. but if you ever do any work in these areas i would love to steal your ideas. victoria lacroix from the other thread has completely different ideas from me but i learn a lot from her. i'm not sure this will be useful and you don't need to reply

[meluzzy@woof.tech]

@hipsterelectron It's not the kind of depression that let's me do anything at all but thanks for the good intentions

[hipsterelectron@circumstances.run]

@meluzzy got it sorry sending healing vibes from my gigawatt antenna

[none@tkz.one]

Do you do any creative work, like drawing, writing, or music? Just get started. Don’t worry about whether you enjoy it or not, and it doesn’t have to be anything spectacular. It doesn’t matter if you’re not feeling motivated, just do it. Focus as much as you can on the task, almost as if you’re doing it on autopilot. That might distract you enough to help you feel better afterward.

@meluzzy

[meluzzy@woof.tech]

@NONE I tried. i can't. im sorry.

[purple@woof.tech]

@meluzzy

Right now? What works for me, may not work for you, but I've found that if I can get just enough motion going, I need to force myself to do something /whack/
Like nothing dangerous, just something that I've never done before and is low effort enough

Examples:
- Bake a egg in a cooking pot
- Smoking a cigarette underneath the shower because I saw it in a movie once
- Totally invert the layout of your bed, so that the pillows are at the opposite side

Some of the worst things you can do is getting stuck on watching passive content though. (Youtube, TikTok, social media etc)
I find that this makes me even more miserable until I'm at a point where even that feels useless.

Does this always work? No, depression sucks ass. But every attempt at getting out of it is a new attempt with a possibility of success.

Long term I have no clue, obviously talk to a therapist (which I assume you are), but short term you need to find active distractions (and try not to get too stuck on passive ones)

[none@tkz.one]

No, not just lines and stuff. Try to make something concrete. A flower if you now how to do it, or an abstract composition. It has to be something relatively complex so you can zone out to it.

As an example:

@meluzzy

[meluzzy@woof.tech]

@Purple thank you for the comment.

I have major depressive disorder. I can't really do things, I have no motivation and everything gives me pain.

But thanks for writing, I appreciate it a lot.

[meluzzy@woof.tech]

@NONE that's way too much effort.
I'm sorry I can't do that like this.
Thanks for the comment and for the help.

[sakurasubnet@bumscode.com]

@meluzzy For me being in the nature helped at least a bit - especially being in a forest. You don't have to do anything there. Grab a blanket and lay around. Listen to the birds, feel your stupid feelings and cry a little. If you want to distract yourself, read a book outside. Meanwhile I found myself a few hideaways in parks, where I can be alone. At one there is even a cat, which I can pet. A bun sometimes needs grass under its paws

[kulupusoweli@transfem.social]

@meluzzy@woof.tech As someone who also has major depressive disorder, one of the things that helps me a ton is simply asking someone to compliment me, or for praise in general. Being reminded that i'm not entirely worthless to others helps me feel a little better until i'm able to control my emotions a little better.

Also, I saw this in another comment, but go on walks! Hell, just go outside on your phone rather than staying inside. Fresh air, birdsounds, all of it is really helpful.

One other thing, I want you to know that whatever bad things you believe about yourself aren't true. Your thoughts don't magically make you a bad person, or someone undesirable.

If you ever need some compliments, don't be afraid to ask and I will praise the hecc out of you! ​​

[meluzzy@woof.tech]

@kulupuSoweli Thanks but compliments don't really do anything to me
And I used to go on walks but I got really lonely and sad from them I would just come back crying and feeling worse.

[technicolourpenguin@void.lgbt]

@meluzzy
Gonna be honest, the only way I've found to fix these things is the 10 second method. Most people can do just about anything for 10 seconds (outside of things that will obviously cause harm).

Get up and look out the window for 10 seconds. It's gonna suck and you're gonna have to force yourself, but it's only 10 seconds and you can do that. Then you get to go back to bed.

Repeat that a few times, then pick a new thing. Get up and wash your face for 10 seconds. Open a book and read for 10 seconds.

This helps you build stamina, energy and momentum to get you out of the stuck point at the bottom of depression. And it sucks and it's bullshit but it's better then nothing.

[weirdaholic@snowmans.land]

@meluzzy @NONE I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, because: https://youtu.be/kB9An64fSrM

[meluzzy@woof.tech]

@technicolourpenguin This is very good advice, thank you.
I tried it a little but it takes too much effort for now. If I get some meds that make it easier I will try again. This gives me some hope

[kulupusoweli@transfem.social]

@meluzzy@woof.tech ...shoot, I'm really sorry to hear that. I don't have many other good ideas, but if you end up figuring something out and need my help with it, please don't be afraid to ask!!! I promise to help, mew ​​

[aoeuidhtns@app.wafrn.net]

@meluzzy@woof.tech

dang! try luanti?

[weirdaholic@snowmans.land]

@meluzzy @NONE To clarify: Yes, it isn't a picasso, elaborate furry art or anything the advice giver expected. But this genuinely doesn't matter. It's what you did to express something, be it mindless squiggling, your mental state or an attempt to "prove" that you can't do it. (It has a certain "I'll show them" energy, which made me post that Spongebob Clip)

[evur@mastodon.social]

@meluzzy The things that can help me sometimes are cycling, eating or drinking something sweet, distracting myself with funny videos, giving myself an E injection (if on pause or overdue) or playing a game with friends. Do something that makes you feel good and is easy to do. I have those moments too, you're not alone and there are many people who appreciate you. You deserve nice things! 🫶

[meluzzy@woof.tech]

@evur Thanks for the comment. But I can't "feel good" nothing does that to me anymore.