Honestly… I thought that the Christian Rapture was a religious concept going back to the very beginning of the religion.
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When is the next Rapture predicted?
Tomorrow morning, Friday, between 7.30am and 8.45am.
You will have to go to work at 9am though. Because reasons.
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Ellen G. White, of the Seventh Day Adventists, got hit in the face with a stone.
Mary Baker Eddy, of Church of Christ, Scientist, slipped on ice and hit her head.
I wonder if there are other hits to the head leading to the creation of new religions?
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Honestly… I thought that the Christian Rapture was a religious concept going back to the very beginning of the religion.
Nope. John Nelson Darby created it in the 1800s, after he had a fall and a knocked his nogging real hard.
Look him up. It’s a hoot.
Usual Christian fundamentalist BS. Based on... 3 verses in the book of apocalypse if I remember correctly?
Edit: it's called "Revelations" in English. I knew that. Bad Parade! Bad!
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It’s like 90% of what is presented as ‘traditional’ ‘biblical’ christianity: invented and solidified in the last century or so.
This toot is evergreen:
Rev. Poppy Haze 𓅋 (@poppyhaze@girlcock.club)
every “ancient tradition” was invented between 1848-1870 and every “modern perversion” is so ancient as to predate writing
Girlcock.club (girlcock.club)
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Tomorrow morning, Friday, between 7.30am and 8.45am.
You will have to go to work at 9am though. Because reasons.
Awww yeah baby! DICKS OUT FOR THE RAPTURE!
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Awww yeah baby! DICKS OUT FOR THE RAPTURE!
Curb your enthusiasm, this is a non sexual rapture.
We only get one sexual rapture every 99 years. Sorry but I don't make the rules.
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It is. And so, many entitled American assholes think they own 'the true religion' and want to dominate the world, saying they are what Jesus wanted et cetera ad infinitum ad nauseam.
@pascaline @Josteglitz @GayDeceiver
"A child of God that loves all creatures and cares for his enemies like wounded family has chosen me! He chose me over all of you LOSERS!!" -
Curb your enthusiasm, this is a non sexual rapture.
We only get one sexual rapture every 99 years. Sorry but I don't make the rules.
It's my rapture too, it is as sexual as I want to make it. My dick and balls will continue to fly free today!
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It's my rapture too, it is as sexual as I want to make it. My dick and balls will continue to fly free today!
@DXMacGuffin @ParadeGrotesque @GayDeceiver
It can be both! You, whip your dick out. You, keep it in your pants. And YOU! Put down that waffle. You know we discussed that sort of perversion not being allowed in a rapture. Have a good end of the world, y'all.
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Honestly… I thought that the Christian Rapture was a religious concept going back to the very beginning of the religion.
Nope. John Nelson Darby created it in the 1800s, after he had a fall and a knocked his nogging real hard.
Look him up. It’s a hoot.
@GayDeceiver it’s always the end of days for someone. But the book of revelation was written about living through a shitty government.
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@isol @GayDeceiver add: St. Paul falling off his horse and suddenly becoming a Christian
So basically all the result of traumatic brain injury. Hehe, never really heard all of those 'incidents' pulled together like that...
#magicalThinking spoils everything...
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@DXMacGuffin @ParadeGrotesque @GayDeceiver
It can be both! You, whip your dick out. You, keep it in your pants. And YOU! Put down that waffle. You know we discussed that sort of perversion not being allowed in a rapture. Have a good end of the world, y'all.
@NuclearOatmeal @DXMacGuffin @ParadeGrotesque @GayDeceiver
you put your left nut in, you put your left out, you put your left nut in, and you shake it all about.
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@NuclearOatmeal @DXMacGuffin @ParadeGrotesque @GayDeceiver
you put your left nut in, you put your left out, you put your left nut in, and you shake it all about.
@saltywizard @NuclearOatmeal @ParadeGrotesque @GayDeceiver
'Cuz it's the fucking Rapture so we've all got our junk out! That's what it's all about! -
@AlexanderVI @ParadeGrotesque @GayDeceiver
I forget who on mastodon made this image. It was not me and I would love to credit them if found.
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@Landa @gimulnautti @GayDeceiver
Raised evangelical fundy here... godless heathen now ... read way too many books..
But yeah as a little kid it always puzzled me why there were so many different variants within 'christianity' , Methodists, free methodists, baptists, catholics, Lutherans, Mormons, Episcopalian..... and then of course the answer is that they all 'don't have it quite right' and only our Sect/Denomination/Cult has it right..
#tribalism
#Othering
#Zenophobia
Power Structure. -
@isol @GayDeceiver add: St. Paul falling off his horse and suddenly becoming a Christian
@mbpaz @isol @GayDeceiver Ahh, yes. Saul the Apostate tax collector.
The Roman Era L. Ron Hubbard.
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@AlexanderVI @ParadeGrotesque @GayDeceiver
I forget who on mastodon made this image. It was not me and I would love to credit them if found.
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@tantramar @GayDeceiver @AlexanderVI @ParadeGrotesque
yes...thank you...buuuut, someone on masto turned this august meme into the low-res version I posted. they did that to this image, along with many others, so that they could print them out on some archaic sticker printer, which I thought was brilliant.
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@AlexanderVI @ParadeGrotesque @GayDeceiver That it is!
It's worth noting, though, that when Yeshua of Nazareth told his followers that he would return "soon," they all expected it to be within their lifetimes.
I have no sources on hand for this but can track some down if need be. I'm currently going off of what I recall from various sermons & lessons via the church of my childhood, youth, and 1/2-adulthood. (I've been out for 16 years.)
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@AlexanderVI @ParadeGrotesque @GayDeceiver That it is!
It's worth noting, though, that when Yeshua of Nazareth told his followers that he would return "soon," they all expected it to be within their lifetimes.
I have no sources on hand for this but can track some down if need be. I'm currently going off of what I recall from various sermons & lessons via the church of my childhood, youth, and 1/2-adulthood. (I've been out for 16 years.)
@courtcan @AlexanderVI @ParadeGrotesque @GayDeceiver
There is a verse in 3 of the 4 gospels that falls within a chapter talking about apocalypse based shenanigans that says variations on a theme of:
"Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened"
Matthew 24 v34
Mark 13 v30
Luke 21 v32
