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  3. Your periodic remainder that telling upset people to "calm down" is not going to help to defuse the situation.

Your periodic remainder that telling upset people to "calm down" is not going to help to defuse the situation.

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  • nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbtN This user is from outside of this forum
    nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbtN This user is from outside of this forum
    nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbt
    wrote last edited by
    #1

    Your periodic remainder that telling upset people to "calm down" is not going to help to defuse the situation.

    As a side note, I suspect this phrase only ever works in a situation where a person in a position of power can use their powers to silence the other person. Without helping the upset person.

    lisyarus@mastodon.gamedev.placeL aspiedan@autistics.lifeA infosecdj@infosec.exchangeI 3 Replies Last reply
    0
    • nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbtN nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbt

      Your periodic remainder that telling upset people to "calm down" is not going to help to defuse the situation.

      As a side note, I suspect this phrase only ever works in a situation where a person in a position of power can use their powers to silence the other person. Without helping the upset person.

      lisyarus@mastodon.gamedev.placeL This user is from outside of this forum
      lisyarus@mastodon.gamedev.placeL This user is from outside of this forum
      lisyarus@mastodon.gamedev.place
      wrote last edited by
      #2

      @nina_kali_nina It can work if said politely and with care, to a person self-aware enough to realise they're overreacting / their current temper probably doesn't help solve the issue / etc, but that's an exceptionally rare combo

      nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbtN tedmielczarek@mastodon.socialT 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • lisyarus@mastodon.gamedev.placeL lisyarus@mastodon.gamedev.place

        @nina_kali_nina It can work if said politely and with care, to a person self-aware enough to realise they're overreacting / their current temper probably doesn't help solve the issue / etc, but that's an exceptionally rare combo

        nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbtN This user is from outside of this forum
        nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbtN This user is from outside of this forum
        nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbt
        wrote last edited by
        #3

        @lisyarus I'm pretty sure there are better ways to do so. Heck, even "let's calm down" is probably better, because it assumes that both parties are going to work on calming down.

        aprazeth@mstdn.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
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        • nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbtN nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbt

          @lisyarus I'm pretty sure there are better ways to do so. Heck, even "let's calm down" is probably better, because it assumes that both parties are going to work on calming down.

          aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
          aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
          aprazeth@mstdn.social
          wrote last edited by
          #4

          @nina_kali_nina @lisyarus

          - Let's take a moment to collect our thoughts
          - What can we/I do to help you right now?
          - (speaking kindly) Are you OK?

          And sometimes, the best thing to do is to let someone go through their emotions, express themselves, and listen to what they are saying. Actually LISTEN. You'll be amazed what tends to happen when people realize they are being actually heard.

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          • lisyarus@mastodon.gamedev.placeL lisyarus@mastodon.gamedev.place

            @nina_kali_nina It can work if said politely and with care, to a person self-aware enough to realise they're overreacting / their current temper probably doesn't help solve the issue / etc, but that's an exceptionally rare combo

            tedmielczarek@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
            tedmielczarek@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
            tedmielczarek@mastodon.social
            wrote last edited by
            #5

            @lisyarus @nina_kali_nina yeah I would say something like "what do you need right now to feel grounded?" Or "is there anything I can do for you to help you calm down?"

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            • nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbtN nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbt

              Your periodic remainder that telling upset people to "calm down" is not going to help to defuse the situation.

              As a side note, I suspect this phrase only ever works in a situation where a person in a position of power can use their powers to silence the other person. Without helping the upset person.

              aspiedan@autistics.lifeA This user is from outside of this forum
              aspiedan@autistics.lifeA This user is from outside of this forum
              aspiedan@autistics.life
              wrote last edited by
              #6

              @nina_kali_nina Maybe just 'is there anything I can do to help' ?

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbtN nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbt

                Your periodic remainder that telling upset people to "calm down" is not going to help to defuse the situation.

                As a side note, I suspect this phrase only ever works in a situation where a person in a position of power can use their powers to silence the other person. Without helping the upset person.

                infosecdj@infosec.exchangeI This user is from outside of this forum
                infosecdj@infosec.exchangeI This user is from outside of this forum
                infosecdj@infosec.exchange
                wrote last edited by
                #7

                @nina_kali_nina "calm down" is the hygge version of "shut up".

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