I’m learning that my art life and direction are often revealed only as I move forward or backward. Everything seems to be a bit distant, and I can see it out there, but every time I take a step forward I’m presented with an entirely different view.

And what’s worse is that as I tap forward in a specific direction everything is blurry and lurching, then suddenly comes into focus when I have to look around and assess everything all over again.

I came to some deep epiphanies today. And I felt like I learned a lot about who I am and why I do what I do the way I do it.

And it made me feel good to be able to articulate all those things.

And, in some ways, deeply vulnerable. Because as I become more sure about the direction I’m going, the less I can hide behind the excuse that I’m still searching for my future and don’t know what direction to go.

I can only hope this means the lurching and fuzziness of uncertainty goes away. I’m hoping it means I’m finally reaching the waypoint I’m seeking and can settle for a bit into that state. The sudden realizations that only happen in staggers and jerks are just straight up exhausting. Every time I figure something out I’m exhausted. LOL!

Onward, right?

#artlife #artist #artistlife