Maybe Cowsler Syndrome will finally be recognized for the threat it poses.

The potential risk of a bovine ablation cascade remains a shockingly neglected field.

I wonder if nature will select for cows with taller, stronger horns, which protect against falling debris?

But do I understand this correctly, that the risk of a cow getting hit by a falling satellite is orders of magnitudes higher that a cow getting eaten by a shark?

By the way, I need some of this NZ cheese.

@astrokiwi.bsky.social

Please enjoy reading, laugh at our puns, and then talk to your government representatives about better regulation of satellites in orbit, and accountability for their pollution!

This is NOT peer-reviewed, though we wish it was! Maybe this silly cow-culation will be enough to get some government agency to fund us to do this better!

This all started because the three of us were writing about pollution from satellites and bemoaning the fact that there is basically no funding for this serious, rapidly growing issue. But you know what does get a lot of funding in NZ? Cows! And the joke began...