<![CDATA[So, looking at job ads in the UK.]]>So, looking at job ads in the UK. Mentally translating some of the jargon:

"Busy, fast paced environment" - Impossible workloads

"Friendly team" - welcome back to secondary school, fit in or die

"Creative environment" - we absolutely do not plan a single thing we do

"Proactive self starter" - We don't understand this job but we're hoping you do

"Motivated and committed" - you live here now.

(I'm probably being unfair, I'm sure there are some good places)

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/topic/5831280d-3579-4e4e-88f3-4f3e6625d46f/so-looking-at-job-ads-in-the-uk.RSS for NodeFri, 15 May 2026 06:41:20 GMTThu, 16 Apr 2026 13:15:09 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Fri, 17 Apr 2026 09:03:13 GMT]]>@PurpleShadow
Wow, I hadn't thought of it that way before.

Or unavailable team leaders or managers make everyone else responsible by default, unless there's an award in which case you'll be ignored.
@DarkSheepArts

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ohai.social/users/srfirehorseart/statuses/116419237883491653https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ohai.social/users/srfirehorseart/statuses/116419237883491653Fri, 17 Apr 2026 09:03:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:54:21 GMT]]>@Tamber

Oh I know this one

More overtime available = our project and budget is so badly managed that everyone is doing overtime for the extra money and if you don't you're out

@DarkSheepArts

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ohai.social/users/srfirehorseart/statuses/116419202975309787https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ohai.social/users/srfirehorseart/statuses/116419202975309787Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:54:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:46:31 GMT]]>@grimoirebizarre
That 12 may be generous.

The gaslighting / bullying in some jobs will treat you like ...

@DarkSheepArts

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ohai.social/users/srfirehorseart/statuses/116419172176971499https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ohai.social/users/srfirehorseart/statuses/116419172176971499Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:46:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:38:16 GMT]]>@kimlockhartga

I suspect that it's supposed to appeal to people who still have lots of energy and imagine that working harder or longer hours will help them get ahead faster.

It may get them more hours of overtime money, which means the same thing to a lot of people starting out.

@DarkSheepArts

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ohai.social/users/srfirehorseart/statuses/116419139789950310https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ohai.social/users/srfirehorseart/statuses/116419139789950310Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:38:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:22:45 GMT]]>@jalefkowit

Came here looking for the family one
Family therapy anyone?

@Her_Doing @DarkSheepArts

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ohai.social/users/srfirehorseart/statuses/116419078773289072https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ohai.social/users/srfirehorseart/statuses/116419078773289072Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:22:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:11:10 GMT]]>@kersnazzle @DarkSheepArts this is why I utterly despise interviews

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mstdn.games/ap/users/115798900176839373/statuses/116419033193911454https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mstdn.games/ap/users/115798900176839373/statuses/116419033193911454Fri, 17 Apr 2026 08:11:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 21:48:02 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts "Proactive, self-starter" generally means, "We expect you to make executive decisions without having any actual executive authority, much less any guidance from upper management—forcing you to play mind-reading games is an essential part of the process of how we evaluate your work, after all—but you will of course shoulder the blame if anything you do doesn't improve profitability by double-digits every quarter."

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mstdn.plus/users/gcvsa/statuses/116416582922029284https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mstdn.plus/users/gcvsa/statuses/116416582922029284Thu, 16 Apr 2026 21:48:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 21:15:29 GMT]]>@JennyFluff @xinit @DarkSheepArts what amazing alliteration. Kudos

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://dice.camp/users/kyonshi/statuses/116416454942859995https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://dice.camp/users/kyonshi/statuses/116416454942859995Thu, 16 Apr 2026 21:15:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:51:27 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts
"We treat everyone like family."
You will work lots of unpaid overtime.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://autistics.life/users/bardmoss/statuses/116415888620365438https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://autistics.life/users/bardmoss/statuses/116415888620365438Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:51:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:12:21 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts I once saw an advertisement for a job in a call centre. One of their points was "you will be stressed!", as if it was a good challenge.

I wish I had a picture of that thing.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/PurpleShadow/statuses/116415734823614177https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/PurpleShadow/statuses/116415734823614177Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:12:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:06:55 GMT]]>@kimlockhartga @DarkSheepArts You save the company a lot of money at the expense of your own mental and physical health. Chronic stress can lead to autoimmune diseases.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/PurpleShadow/statuses/116415713453436208https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/PurpleShadow/statuses/116415713453436208Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:06:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:03:37 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts In my last job they let people have "freedom to make their own decisions in the projects", which just meant that they would make you responsible for the manager's incompetence.

They also offered "mental health support", which in my experience was misused to make individuals responsible for the consequences of systemic issues.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/PurpleShadow/statuses/116415700475191537https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://eldritch.cafe/users/PurpleShadow/statuses/116415700475191537Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:03:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:39:15 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts “exciting and fast paced!” We push untested changes to production environments on a Friday afternoon

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://dice.camp/users/satsuma/statuses/116415604661171302https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://dice.camp/users/satsuma/statuses/116415604661171302Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:39:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:32:27 GMT]]>@xinit I really wish that I was quick witted enough to have said that. Dammit!

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/ap/users/115345373370258477/statuses/116415577933150590https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/ap/users/115345373370258477/statuses/116415577933150590Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:32:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:27:59 GMT]]>@kersnazzle
"I can detect bullshitters who don't know how to interview a candidate. It's a pretty niche power."
@DarkSheepArts

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.coffee/users/xinit/statuses/116415560390925494https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.coffee/users/xinit/statuses/116415560390925494Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:27:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:24:40 GMT]]>@xinit @DarkSheepArts oh I thought that was code for micro-managing middle managers

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://chitter.xyz/users/JennyFluff/statuses/116415547372026536https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://chitter.xyz/users/JennyFluff/statuses/116415547372026536Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:24:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:22:51 GMT]]>@JennyFluff
"Tight-knit team" - codependent psychopaths
@DarkSheepArts

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.coffee/users/xinit/statuses/116415540172645812https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.coffee/users/xinit/statuses/116415540172645812Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:22:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:20:24 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts

"A young dynamic team" - you're too old to work here. Also the dynamism lies in the not-required, but totally required 80 hour weeks.

@kimlockhartga

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.coffee/users/xinit/statuses/116415530577766955https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.coffee/users/xinit/statuses/116415530577766955Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:20:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:13:22 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts "friendly team" is something you'd expect as a norm too, saying it def gives off the opposite vibes

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://gts.eunach.scot/users/mactunag/statuses/01KPBMGY83P39QPYMHNBWQWP4Zhttps://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://gts.eunach.scot/users/mactunag/statuses/01KPBMGY83P39QPYMHNBWQWP4ZThu, 16 Apr 2026 17:13:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:11:22 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts "Some overtime required, as necessary" : You live here now.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://taur.zone/users/Tamber/statuses/116415495028696429https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://taur.zone/users/Tamber/statuses/116415495028696429Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:11:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:10:45 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts I interviewed with a CTO that described themselves as "an ideas engine" I mentally translated this to "bell end" Another gem was being asked what my superpower was? My thought was that I'm not fucking eight years old!

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/ap/users/115345373370258477/statuses/116415492650855695https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/ap/users/115345373370258477/statuses/116415492650855695Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:10:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:06:31 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts@mastoart.social these are great translations

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://irlqt.net/notes/al5aplcwryg100byhttps://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://irlqt.net/notes/al5aplcwryg100byThu, 16 Apr 2026 17:06:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 16:57:02 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts The "proactive self starter" one made me smile. A few years back I was interviewed for a very undefined role purely because I had been employed for the firm whose software they were migrating to.

Given my experiance of the project management at that previous firm was akin to watching squirrels on acid bobsledding, I declined the job offer.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mstdn.social/users/plwt/statuses/116415438702039210https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mstdn.social/users/plwt/statuses/116415438702039210Thu, 16 Apr 2026 16:57:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to So, looking at job ads in the UK. on Thu, 16 Apr 2026 16:29:07 GMT]]>@DarkSheepArts "We're a family" - we'll never let you get a union in here

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://beige.party/users/ZenHeathen/statuses/116415328931412162https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://beige.party/users/ZenHeathen/statuses/116415328931412162Thu, 16 Apr 2026 16:29:07 GMT