<![CDATA[There was a time when adults could feel something without screaming at you about it.]]>There was a time when adults could feel something without screaming at you about it.

We could disagree, hard, in a meeting and walk out with our faces still attached. Bad news arrived at the dinner table and the meal finished anyway.

Call it discipline: the capacity to feel a thing in full and still choose what to do next…

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Emotional regulation is a dying art.

There was a time when adults could feel something without screaming at you about it. We could disagree - hard - in a meeting and walk out with our faces still attached. When bad news arrived at the dinner table, we finished the meal anyway. In hindsight, you could call

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Westenberg. (www.joanwestenberg.com)

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/topic/52423fc8-2873-4738-9726-37305fba57c0/there-was-a-time-when-adults-could-feel-something-without-screaming-at-you-about-it.RSS for NodeFri, 15 May 2026 05:38:07 GMTWed, 06 May 2026 00:23:00 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to There was a time when adults could feel something without screaming at you about it. on Thu, 07 May 2026 03:51:53 GMT]]>@Daojoan

Yep love your work but not feeling this one at all.

There was no golden age of people calmly and agreeably disagreeing. There are no sunlit uplands where rational adults will once again maintain their coolth.

Buddha, Marcus Aurelius, Jesus of Nazareth et.al. preached what they preached because of the pressing and urgent problem that all around them everywhere everyone was constantly and forevermore losing their shit.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mindly.social/users/MercG/statuses/116531259835347078https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mindly.social/users/MercG/statuses/116531259835347078Thu, 07 May 2026 03:51:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to There was a time when adults could feel something without screaming at you about it. on Wed, 06 May 2026 12:00:25 GMT]]>@anne_twain I don't think having the economy and survivability of the planet destroyed by a greedy, narcissistic, lead addled generation is helpful.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/users/bebadefabo/statuses/116527518549914313https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/users/bebadefabo/statuses/116527518549914313Wed, 06 May 2026 12:00:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to There was a time when adults could feel something without screaming at you about it. on Wed, 06 May 2026 04:47:39 GMT]]>@Gh0stlyM0use @Daojoan This is the first post of Joan's I've read that I'm pretty sure is 100% wrong. I don't think this regulation has ever been the case, nor do I think borrowing language from psychology in one's own life is necessarily bad just because some people misuse or weaponise the terms. I've seen a lot of anecdata suggesting the exact opposite - men who learn to control their fears by identifying them etc, thus learning emotional regulation they never previously had as a result.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ruby.social/users/evenreven/statuses/116525816852070141https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://ruby.social/users/evenreven/statuses/116525816852070141Wed, 06 May 2026 04:47:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to There was a time when adults could feel something without screaming at you about it. on Wed, 06 May 2026 04:12:57 GMT]]>@Daojoan yeah gonna have to hard disagree there. It never was a thing. Its just folk are more interconnected now, so you dont have any downtime from it. All i ever experienced growing up and adulthood was that others did not have good emotional regulation.

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/users/Gh0stlyM0use/statuses/116525680362661087https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/users/Gh0stlyM0use/statuses/116525680362661087Wed, 06 May 2026 04:12:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to There was a time when adults could feel something without screaming at you about it. on Wed, 06 May 2026 02:35:12 GMT]]>@Daojoan My therapist gave me a shorthand for how to do this in a healthy way: “You can feel the feeling without *being* the feeling.”

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://wandering.shop/users/glassblowerscat/statuses/116525295996387191https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://wandering.shop/users/glassblowerscat/statuses/116525295996387191Wed, 06 May 2026 02:35:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to There was a time when adults could feel something without screaming at you about it. on Wed, 06 May 2026 01:26:28 GMT]]>@Daojoan boomers lose their cool at the slightest inconvenience and make their discomfort everyone's problem. I literally can't recall the last time I had an argument with anyone under the age of 60. We communicate, we might even have heated discourse, but only the boomers and the red pilled MAGA chuds are here to argue

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/users/bebadefabo/statuses/116525025740721295https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://mastodon.social/users/bebadefabo/statuses/116525025740721295Wed, 06 May 2026 01:26:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to There was a time when adults could feel something without screaming at you about it. on Wed, 06 May 2026 00:34:41 GMT]]>@Daojoan

maybe but i'm pretty old (retirement age) & that time wasn't in my lifetime

are we sure the whole emotional regulation thing isn't just a 19th century myth?

editing to say, i'm not trying to be provocative but rather, i was an abused child in the 1960s (when it was not just legal but openly accepted unless the kid was, like, killed) so i'm finding it hard to believe that adults practiced much emotional regulation in the past

]]>https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://toot.community/users/peachfront/statuses/116524822130173048https://board.circlewithadot.net/post/https://toot.community/users/peachfront/statuses/116524822130173048Wed, 06 May 2026 00:34:41 GMT